*Trigger Warning* Photo disposal

[spanishomelettes]

My DC has a history of being sexually abused between 4-6 years of age. There are some pictures we have of DC during this time that are really lovely but I absolutely hate them I cannot stand looking at them, and I think it is because they were taken during the period of abuse. I thought these feelings would decrease with time but they haven' t, and I have been considering just throwing away the photos. On the other hand, my DC may appreciate having them in the future. Or maybe not.

My question is, what do people do with items that trigger traumatic memories, especially when it is indirectly to do with them? At what age should I/could I ask DC? Would they even want the photos?

I’m speaking as an SA survivor, who was abused from those ages until a teenager, along with my DSis. Our childhood memories are very hazy (they were repressed for many years) and I actually appreciate seeing childhood photos, as long as my F (who was our abuser) isn’t in them.

My DM (who didn’t know what was happening) had the same reaction as you, as she can’t bear to think about even happy memories as for her they’re all tainted, as it all feels like a total lie to her.

So I would say, hold onto the photos. It might well help your DC to know that there were good things that happened during that time. I think it might also help you. Because the good things that happened do matter, don’t let the abuser take them away from you.

I’m so sorry you’re facing this.

I wanted to say a big thank-you to everyone who posted and PMed. It took courage and kindness to do that.

I will be keeping the photos for if/when DC asks in the future.

All my very best to you all who have gone through something similar/still going through.