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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Commuting

47 replies

UsernameN0Tavailable · 29/12/2020 09:37

Very minor annoyance, but I have a friend who keeps banging on about how amazing it is that her DH doesn't have to commute now. She keeps commenting on social media about the hidden benefits of the pandemic for 'commuters' like her DH. His place of work is about 5 miles away on a dual carriageway and takes 15-20 minutes door to door.

I always thought to be considered a commute it had to be a significant distance? My workplace is 45 miles away and takes me around 1h30 each way, I would call that a commute.

In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter, but it is really annoying me!

YABU - commuting is travelling any distance between your place of work and home
YANBU - it is only considered a commute if you travel significant distance, I'd say over an hour each way

OP posts:
Heyahun · 29/12/2020 10:51

I’d call my journey of half an hour a commute - just having to be in the tube at rush hour is awful and then a bus and all the bloody steps in the crowd when you try get off the tube etc!

Il so happy to not be doing that any more

Original poster
UsernameN0Tavailable · 29/12/2020 10:53

@Santaisreel

OP you are just determined to be better than her because you have an 'actual commute'

I refer to my earlier post, look for the positives as your friend is obviously doing. This year has been shit enough without this judgemental bollocks.

Nothing to do with being better than her at all, and as I said in my reply to your previous post I am indeed counting my blessings.

My issue is with her using social media to pretend to be something she isn't. Like I said in my OP, it is a small annoyance and all I was asking is whether people would consider the word correctly used. Thank you for you input.

OP posts:
VashtaNerada · 29/12/2020 10:54

It is a commute, albeit an easy one! Pretty poor form to be showing off about not having to do it at the moment when some of us are still travelling in on packed trains and buses amongst people who don’t know how to wear a mask Sad

ichundich · 29/12/2020 10:56

What a lovely friend you must be that you feel the need to start a thread on MN about someone's choice of English.

Ideasplease322 · 29/12/2020 10:57

A commute is a travel to work.

You are being ridiculous, and in this specific circumstance it is you who is annoying and not her😂.

My commute used to be thirty minutes in the car - could be an hour if the traffic was bad, or twenty minutes on a bank holiday.

It was still a commute. A commute means to travel back and forth t9 work regularly.

It’s not a competition.

Why don’t you jump on social media and tell everyone how awful your commute is and why you have it worse🤣. I am sure everyone will agree that you are the true commuter😂😂

AuntyPonsonby · 29/12/2020 11:00

I'm a bit baffled about why there are any bragging rights attached to being a commuter - and the further the more status. Isn't commuting usually driven by not being paid enough to live close to work and having to live further away where houses are cheaper?

Ideasplease322 · 29/12/2020 11:00

@UsernameN0Tavailable

She is very into making them both seem more important than they are. He was self employed once (he does service desk work, but needed to set himself up as a sole trader so he could take on a contract role instead of being employed) and she posted on Facebook saying how proud she was that he was the director of his own IT services business.

TBH I think previous things like that are adding to my annoyance of her bigging up his journey.

I actually think this is nice, to big up your other half.

A colleague of mine recently posted how proud he was of his wife who had got promoted. I thought it was sweet and not a brag.

You dislike this couple and sound quite jealous.

chipsandpeas · 29/12/2020 11:01

@HikeForward

A commute is a journey to work. When my commute was 1.5 hours each way I called it a commute. Now it’s only 10 mins and still a commute!
this
annevonkleve · 29/12/2020 11:02

5 miles? Ha ha you could cycle that.

My husband used to leave the house at 6.40 to get into the office at 8.30! Coming home he'd leave at 6 and I'd collect him from the station around 7.30. THAT's a commute (and costs a lot too).

annevonkleve · 29/12/2020 11:03

@AuntyPonsonby

I'm a bit baffled about why there are any bragging rights attached to being a commuter - and the further the more status. Isn't commuting usually driven by not being paid enough to live close to work and having to live further away where houses are cheaper?
Or because you want to live somewhere nice and your workplace is somewhere that isn't eg on a soul-less business park somewhere.
WorraLiberty · 29/12/2020 11:03

Honestly OP, of all the things to get annoyed about 😂😂

newnamenancy · 29/12/2020 11:06

My interpretation of commute would be longer than 15 mins. Personally that's just 'going to work'.

But if he's saving 30-40 mins a day, that's must be nice for them and I can't begrudge her the pleasure of that. Isn't it nice that she's pleased to have him home rather than desperate to get him back to the office 😉

Previously my DH had an 18 minute journey to work, and me 35, neither I considered a commute. Now he does 1.5hrs each way, that for me is a commute and probably too long/far tbh. But that's an entirely different thread

Crunchymum · 29/12/2020 11:09

My "commute" is a 30 minute walk each way! It is still nice to not have to do it at present.

I did a decade of 1h + each way though.

Fluerty · 29/12/2020 12:24

Mumsnet bingo! We've had a 'you sound jealous' Grin

Fluerty · 29/12/2020 12:25

I promise I'm not jealous, I'm going to leave it here now as the post has got to the point where everything I say gets twisted so thank you all for your input.

Goodadvice1980 · 29/12/2020 12:32

Name change fail OP?

MaryLeeOnHigh · 29/12/2020 12:37

Given time to find parking spaces, scrape frost off the car, etc and factoring in days when there is bad traffic, your friend's DH is probably saving himself at least four hours a week which is not insignificant. I'd be pleased about that.

Ideasplease322 · 29/12/2020 12:59

I am saving time dressing! I throw on a top that will look okay on a zoom. No more corporate dresses, makeup, tights and heels.

No more running round the house looking for gloves and an umbrella.

I too am not sure why people think a long commute is something to brag about, or here competitive over😂

Strangest thread

ChristmasAlone · 29/12/2020 13:39

Yeah it's not a massive commute, but that 20mins each way is saving way more than 40mins a day.

Morning you'll be getting up earlier, getting ready to leave, toilet before you go, psyche your self up. On the way home it's home and you need to chill out, sort yourself out. Easily saving 1.5hr a day.

sbhydrogen · 29/12/2020 13:41

If you have to leave the house to go to work, it's a commute.

vanillandhoney · 29/12/2020 13:51

A commute is a journey to work - it doesn't matter how long it is.

Sounds like you're a bit jealous that yours is 90 minutes each way, and his isn't.

thecatsthecats · 29/12/2020 14:58

This is specifically about the word commute used to describe a 15 minute journey, not the additional benefits of WFH.

I think it is more the way it was worded on social media as a 'getting so much time back not having to commute' without mentioning that it is 15 minutes each way, so that people imagine him usually getting a train into the city or something.

Um... That was exactly my point. A commute might be 20m each way but because of preparing for it and tidying up after it it consumes extra time on top.

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