6 year old watching a 15 rated film!

[Alicenwonderland]

I know it's 100% not appropriate and I'm really upset but I'm not sure what to do. My 6 year old DD just came back from seeing her Dad and they watched a 15 film. She was scared and he told her to cover her eyes! There's a history of DV to myself and children but contact is court ordered.

Whats the film?

What film was it

If its a 15 then him showing it to them could/would be perceived as child abuse

The Matrix.

He let her watch Jurassic park which petrified her a few months ago. She was scared and he left her alone in her own bed in the dark and she cried herself to sleep. She will only sleep in bed with me now, she's still awake. I'm sat with her.

I haven't any practical suggestions but you're right to be appalled. I was twice your daughter's age when I saw Jurassic Park, and I still have nightmares about those sodding raptors!

Personally I would probably watch jurassic Park with my 6yr old but he's dinosaur obsessed. Matrix would be boring as hell for a small child though (setting aside the violence)

Do you have a social worker?

We've just finished our second court run in 3 years. Initially there were lots of restrictions placed on him due to abuse and neglect, he managed to get lots more contact this time around and it's going badly. School called social services recently regarding things my son has said and school have witnessed with his Dad and my DS is now not going until they've finished their report and had a child in need meeting. The abuse is mainly directed at my son so I've been told to still send my DD but stuff like this happens and I want to tear my hair out!

Think you need to log it with the social worker tbh. I don't see that you have a choice

Thanks. It's such a nightmare. My ex is very manipulative and things have been blamed on me so much! I had a breakdown over it all last summer and I was so scared and irrational.

@TyroTerf

I haven't any practical suggestions but you're right to be appalled. I was twice your daughter's age when I saw Jurassic Park, and I still have nightmares about those sodding raptors!

New to posting (my first post!) so I hope I've done this right! I've never even seen it as I'm a complete scaredy-cat.

Your poor little girl
He’s a fucking bastard

I’m quite lax about films and my dc who’s 7 has watched all the Jurassic park films and other 12’s no way would they be watching the matrix ffs. At any point they said they were scared the film would be switched off.

However your ex sounds like a dick, I’d report it to your social worker and seek their advice.

She doesn't want to watch them either, that makes it worse! She says she doesn't like it and she's scared and he ignores her.

Thats shitty. Time for supervised contact then

The bar is so high for what they'll allow sadly. It seems that it has to be physical abuse that leaves bruises or sexual, before they'll stop/restrict access. Because this is verbal and emotional abuse, bullying, control and physical that leaves no marks, he can get away with it.

Age ratings vary a lot (although 6 is very young, it must be said). I have no problem with (in context) nudity, nor with the usual sort of film consensual sex between adults where everyone is enjoying themselves. That’s easy enough to explain to a child. What I really hate is violence (and I’ve seen quite a lot of PG films where the casual violence has disturbed me). Doesn’t sound like your Ex made a subtle/detailed analysis here, though - and your DD shouldn’t have been scared. He needs to be careful.

I was taken to see the Woody Allen film Annie Hall at 7. I still find women in men’s clothes very attractive. The film made no sense whatsoever at the time. Watching violence is worse for children.

I dont let my 13 year old watch age 15 films because they are not age appropriate. Your poor girl, I hope she is ok x

There are films I think my DD would have enjoyed when she was 6, like home alone and back up the future, but I held off because there were aspects of them that weren’t age appropriate. The matrix isn’t remotely appropriate.

Common sense media is quite cautious, but a reasonable guide (see the screen shot)

If you’re in proceedings now, I’d think about sending him a text/email explaining your concerns. If he’s a dick about it, you’ll be able to bring it up.

Proceedings have finished but there's an active children's services case.

My ds2 who is 6 has watched all the Jurrasic park films but he loves dinosaurs and it doesn't faze him. Again with Marvel. But I wouldn't let my ds1 watch Jurrasic park at the same age because it would have scared him. Your ex was being unreasonable as he must've seen your dd was distressed

The school are already involved with your DS, can they also help with your DD.
Maybe you could tell her teacher that you believe that your ex has been showing her in appropriate films, including Jurrasic Park, which have caused sleep problems at home and could they keep an eye on her as you are worried it will also affect her school work, especially if dinosaurs are a topic.

Hang on, if there is a child in need plan in place regarding your other children with him, I don't understand why he is allowed to have access to your daughter.

I would stop sending her. When social services ask why you can explain to them.