Not fitting in

[Outseyeder]

Hi. I've lived in a number of different places and had different jobs. One thing that has always followed me around is a feeling of not fitting in. I'd always lived in cities until 2 years ago when I relocated to a small village in a relatively rural part of the British Isles where I have family links, a very small number of mainly older relatives, and a long history of visiting the place, which I always loved and felt a warm, friendly refuge when city life became too much. I live alone and have found lockdown very challenging. I'd been here 7months and not met many people before the 1st lockdown. Now it feels like the social fabric of the community in the village is being torn apart. People that used to stop and chat barely acknowledge you if you see them in the street, obviously all the pubs and cafés have been and continue to be shut almost all the time. I cant work out if it is just that I haven't had time to establish myself, or if it really isn't for me. It is very sad for me because I used to have such warm positive associations for the place, now I feel really sad about being here, like it is a prison. Anyway, that's me.

"Community" doesnt exist face-to-face at the moment, due to the pandemic. It's the same everywhere, no communal spaces are open, no events are running and people don't want to stop and chat in the street because they don't want to catch anything, and because masks make it harder to connect.

I don't think you should take it as a reflection of the place or your suitability to life there, but it does sound miserable.

I would stick with it and,when you can, make an effort to join in few things. Could you consider getting a dog? I made new friends whilst walking mine.

Many places must feel very different in terms of community life, from small villages to cities; it's quite probable that you'd feel the same wherever you were.
Although you had previous associations with your current location, it sounds as if you didn't have too long pre-covid to create links with the local community on moving there, which is unfortunate.
Sorry that you're struggling right now, here's hoping for a more positive 2021

Thanks for the responses. Yes, it is really hard to say whether the community feeling is dormant or dead and gone. To judge by what I feel and the local FB group there is q lot of bad feeling and tension locally. It almost feels like they need to call a meeting of reconciliation at some unknown future post restriction date