...to be so impatient with non-plumber DH!

[MiddleOfThePack]

OK - so I am BU and a bit tongue-in-cheek, but how do I calm down and develop patience? We currently have 2 bathrooms in various states of 'useability'.

DH insists he will find the leak in the en-suite shower he installed a few weeks ago; and he wants to completely redecorate and replace the shower screen in the family bathroom. I know he will eventually - but it just takes so long! It took him a week to do the shower, now taken 4 days to try to find the leak and repair it. The new shower screen has now been on the landing for about a month. He won't fit it until the en-suite is fixed, to make sure we have one useable bathroom.

I just want the job done by a professional now as it will only take a day or two and, after all, we have a friend who runs a bathroom fitting business who can lend us a plumber! I'm sure they must be desperate for business and we can afford it.

How do I develop some more patience and just wait a bit longer? I admire his tenacity and determination, but when do you just give in and get the pro's in?

Can you agree a timetable, and if it slips you’ll get someone in.

Neither of you is being unreasonable. I wouldn’t want to put up with no usable bathroom for more than a week, or an irritating half functioning one for more than a month.

Hi partyatthepalace: still waiting.

I've mentioned that if he didn't get it done by say this weekend, can we 'phone a friend' and he went ballistic. He's undoubtedly enjoying the challenge of working things out, but we have 5 adults in our household all using our en suite shower.

Not so bad during the week when most of us are working so can stagger showers as we are all wfh, & no one really cares about hygiene on zoom!

At weekends though, DS3 has to come in before we get up as he works weekends & we have a lie in.

Whilst it sort of works, I know the boys are fed up & I certainly am.

This weekend so far, he's finished the grouting and resealing so should be ready tomorrow for new tap & the screen to go up. However, he's just realised that the new tap might not fit the old bath, so we either need to bodge it or buy a new bath (cue tiles coming off to extract old bath as of course dimensions change in 20 years and new bath most likely won't fit, re-tiling, re-sealing, hoping the new tap fits the new bath).

I just roll my eyes now and try to ignore it.

I'm that husband. I can do it. I know I can.
Sometimes I need rescued when I can't do it.
Just be gentle and help him realise that his time and talents are so valuable that it not worth wasting his time on such details.

Good luck getting any tradesmen in at reasonable prices at the moment.

pokoty - I know! Hoping that our friend with the bathroom company might supply one of his employees at mates' rates [not hopeful - we all have to live]

Get a bloody plumber and tell DH that you married him for his brains and personality, not his skill with a spanner!

My plumber would only charge £425-675 labour to fit a whole new bathroom, depending on complexity, and I'm in the SE where tradesmen tend to be more expensive.

My ex started an extension . It meant destroying the existing kitchen . 16 years later I still had no kitchen . 20 years later I gather he still has no kitchen . I on the other hand have a proper kitchen . Get someone in !!!!!!!!!

My good friend moved into a very dated small bungalow and she & her husband started a "extension project" to turn it into a large family house. Her husband decided he would do the work himself as he is a bit of a control freak and also to save money. To be fair, he does have the skills to do the work, but nearly 10 years on from starting, they are still living in a building site. He works full-time and the "project" is only done at weekends and some summer evenings. Their kids are now young adults and presumably will likely leave home before the house is finished. They were supposed to be getting their own rooms but still share 10 years down the line.

My friend has the patience of a saint! Her husband is a stubborn sod and won't entertain getting a builder in, so she has to live with half a house. I think I would have divorced him by now..!

Who is your plumber please

Oh, how I sympathise! Our en suite shower has been out of action since January. He finally got a spare part that he needs. Maybe he’ll fit it by January 2022!!!

The main bathroom has had a bath panel off since August 2020. With a brief respite of being put back on in January 2021. Now currently off again as he finally fixed a leaky shower tap - yay! Perhaps he will put the panel back on by Christmas. Here’s hoping!

Radiators need fixing as some are leaking. Need to drain them and refill with radiator liquid. He now says he has run out of time before we start using them again. I want to call a plumber in. He absolutely refuses to entertain any ideas like this.

He apparently doesn’t seem to realise that by not fixing things as they come they will just pile up!

SEND HELP!