My DM's dodgy taste of clothing

[Ineedteabags]

My DM and my partners DM buy DD clothes from time to time. My mum buys more than my partners mum prob as she sees her more.
But omg what is with their taste in clothes!? My DM must have a checklist:

1. Does it look like it's made from old curtains- check!
2. Does it have lace- check!
3. Is it a frilly dress completely impractical for a toddler to wear- check!

No ends of dresses that DD has never worn go into the pile that dont fit anymore after maybe wearing it once. Mostly because they look like something a bridesmaid would wear with layers of lace and isn't practical for playing in the park or going for a walk.
I've told her to stop buying them but she still continues, do all DM's out there have awful taste in clothes??

Yes, girls used to wear skirts and dresses more, but they weren't the big puffy frilly ones poor kids get lumbered with now.

Are they those Spanish monstrocities, op?

Either keep throwing them away or be honest and tell her they aren't to your taste so please buy x style instead.

@VinylDetective

Errr no they definitely haven't this is so daft!

It isn’t daft at all. One of my aunts (born 1907) was apparently an ace climber, she nearly gave my gran heart failure several times. I can well remember tucking my dress into my knickers when I was a kid. Women used to ride horses in long skirts.

Most girls weren't allowed to climb trees in their nice dresses in the 60s and 70s and most of the dresses they wore weren't as ridiculous as OP describes. Why on earth would you not just dress them in more comfortable and practical clothes? If you knew you were going to be climbing trees would you be happy to wear a ridiculous frilly dress with lace and bows and ribbons? Obviously not! So why force a child to. It's silly!

How utterly fucking ungrateful.

Mine buys lovely things. Is it an age thing? My DM is not an OAP

Dunno if all mothers have the same taste as yours.
But at least, hopefully, not all of them have spiteful ungrateful daughters.
Light-hearted my arse.

@IamMariahScarey

How utterly fucking ungrateful.

Oh god get over yourself. OP said she's grateful for the thought but doesn't want her mum wasting money on dresses that won't ever get worn.

Take DD to the park in one of those frocks, then you take a picture of it "here's DD having a wonderful time in the park wearing that lovely frock you gave her". And if your Mum complains that it's torn and covered in mud, well, that's the time to have the conversation about practicality.

I was extremely grateful for any clothing my Mum bought DD because as a single Parent I couldn't afford many clothes for her. If I absolutely hated anything DD was given I said so and Mum would take it back and change it. Simples!

@TheSilentStars

Dunno if all mothers have the same taste as yours. But at least, hopefully, not all of them have spiteful ungrateful daughters. Light-hearted my arse.

You're the one who sounds spiteful, why would OP want her mum to waste her money on quite frankly awful clothes for her DD.

Why are you speaking for her? You seem very over-invested in being her mouthpiece.

@TheSilentStars

Why are you speaking for her? You seem very over-invested in being her mouthpiece.

I'm not talking for OP I was talking for myself in responding to your deeply unpleasant and unnecessary comment on a light hearted thread. I don't like the people on mumsnet who derail every thread with completey unnecessary critisim of the OP. You must be fairly over invested yourself if you wrote something so nasty about someone you don't know.

Yeah my mum tried this with my DC. I told her that anything impractical or massive (toy wise) she gave me was just going straight to the charity shop.

If she hated her money that bad she could just transfer it straight into my bank account and I would use it as I see fit.

She stopped buying crap.

But then my mother only listens to a sledgehammer.

I think your post reads as really rude. Of course not all grandmothers have poor taste. You just want people to come on and say “ oh I know what you mean” etc. If she continues to buy them despite you telling her then just donate to charity . But don’t start a thread about her. She loves your daughter and is just trying to do something nice.

My mother has awful fashion sense, truly awful. All of my childhood photos are embarrassing because of the clothes she put me in. Generally garish clothes. Think fuchsia velour tracksuit (which was too long for me) or a red tartan bodycon dress for primary school mufti days! I will happily tell her not buy clothes for my child for the same reasons as OP.

The point is the OP hates them and as it's her child and she has asked her mother not to buy them then it's her mother who is being rude by continuing to push them on her.

I think I would have to tell the Mother to stop buying the frillies, as it's wasting money otherwise. I was lucky in this respect as I had a Son as first born, and saved some of his clothes, that were then worn by my daughter three and a half years later.She was a bit of a tomboy anyway.

I used to be quite inundated with knitted cardigans and tank tops for my children,in many colours, as both my Mum and MIL were prolific knitters.

Team the dresses up with wellies and a winter coat. Sorted.

@thesilentstars it is lighthearted like it or not, if I wanted to be nasty about the subject then it would be obvious. If I cant have a laugh about about a few frilly dresses then what can Iaugh about!?

My DD is only 1 so I'm not trying to force what I want her to wear, whilst she was trying to crawl/starting to stand I found dresses impractical as she would get caught up in them when crawling or trying to climb up the couch and just found leggings/trousers easier.
She now loves getting dirty and wellies and muddy puddles are an everyday occurrence. My DM is very attentive to dirty clothes and would be horrified to see these dresses dragged through puddles.
My DM has seen for herself when I'm sorting out old clothes that are too small that there are no ends of these clothes she buys in the pile. She even says I must stop buying things, but never does 🤣

DM also dressed me similarly and I went through a massive tomboy phase for a few years when I was old enough to choose clothing!

@imnotshouting interestingly enough DM cannot stand frilly things on herself so I love that idea 🤣

There’s also the issue of forcing a child into a role, yes a one off practical, but pretty dress for a party, but not for everyday activities which stop a young girl from being active. Similarly I would not buy mini ironing boards, kitchen sets, dolls specifically for girls, or train sets just for boys. This is a given now, so why are girly clothes different? I used to put my young son in pink t shirts as they suited him, and my girls in dungarees. Neither of them have any problems now and are well adjusted adults now!

I'm not talking about practical dresses that can be tucked in. The ones DSis SIL buys are like something you'd see on a porcelain doll. Her own DD was wearing one to a birthday party and the poor thing couldn't get on the bouncy castle because the dress and its ruffles and frills.

I don't think you're ungrateful. I think your mother is stupid. I'm sure you're grateful that she's willing to help, but you've explained that she's wasting money by getting things you really don't like and which aren't suitable, and she's not listening. And thus wasting her money. My mum listens because she would rather help me and not waste her money.

FWIW I'm a "girly girl", I never wear trousers and I live in dresses but I don't dress like an overgrown Violet Elizabeth Bott and I would NEVER inflict that or my general skirt preference upon a child. Especially a toddler who would only fall over! The Violet Elizabeth trend for little girls is an impediment, IME. Surely other than one or two pretty but comfy dresses for pics or a special occasion, tinies don't really need much in the way of fancy stuff- especially if they look like mini Victorians.

Also, I've been way harsh on your mum, sorry. I shouldn't have said that about her, but it is silly!

@mrstoothybitch exactly that, I'm grateful she wants to buy things for her grandchild but I dont want her money to be wasted. The more boring options of helping out with things that are used more like vests/sleepsuits etc would be a much better use of her money.

I am girly now after my tomboy phase, I love pink and girly stuff but dresses with layers of lace and frills and puff are in my opinion for weddings/special occasions and even then they're not always practical.
There's an awful photo of me in primary school wearing a horrific sailors type dress with a massive white collar and red bow, I can't look at it without cringing! I dread to think the other mums laughing when I walked in the school looking like that lol.