To think this was a dick move on DM’s part?

[Martasalada]

Forgive me it’s from a while back but recently remembered. I was bullied a bit at primary school but didn’t want the teachers to know - it wasnt anything big. DM waded in and this resulted in teachers ambushing me and said bully so we could resolve our differences. Smooth.

DM was very focused on school life and took all this extremely personally. Resulted in me writing Xmas cards for my whole year and her (when I was asleep) removing Xmas card to bully (the incident had long blown over) making it appear that I had personally left them out. DM hated bully so this was her own personal payback really. This obviously resulted in an awkward conversation at school the next day and just made life more difficult for me.

I do feel like a lot of my DM’s actions while I was growing up were well intentioned but ultimately made life more difficult for me. She didn’t get that and got very offended when I suggested it.

So AIBU? Petty I know but i wouldn’t dream of doing the same to my own kids

I could probably understand her steaming in with the bully even if it was misguided but the card thing really is ridiculous. It does sound a bit like she was vicariously living through you while you were at school so instead of supporting you to sort out your problems she became really over involved and a bit controlling.

@BestOfABadLot yes!! Got it in one. This i her throughout my childhood. Didn’t make for an easy one

Yes, it was a dick move, but you need to let it go now.

@BringPizza oh it’s gone, I literally remembered today but won’t be dwelling. It’s more that it fits a pattern of behaviour noticed throughout my childhood and tbh even to this day

I think it's normal to have minor memories like this pop up and to have a new understanding of how they fit a pattern in your life, OP. I get you. I wouldn't dwell too long for my own peace of mind, but it's definitely a source of quiet contemplation for me from time to time.