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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To break my promise to my landlord?

163 replies

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 20:45

NC.

I'm in my early twenties and I live with my husband in a flat we rent from one of his colleagues. We originally had to move somewhere quite quickly back in summer as we had issues with our previous rental, but we spoke to his colleague and he said he'd love for us to move in on a "longterm" basis. A specific amount of time had not been specified and so far, we've been here about 6months.

However, we are due to come into an amount of money in early 2021 that would mean that with a little luck we are not too far off from putting a deposit down on a house. This would also be great as it would mean it we could TTC significantly sooner, as I would feel more secure owning property before having kids and not being dependent on a landlord. (just a personal preference and I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity for that choice).

If we came into the money in February time ish, would it be unreasonable to start looking for a house then? I don't want my landlord to feel that he's been deceived (especially considering he works with my husband) but I simultaneously don't want to rent, as we have cats and the longer we stay here the more deposit gets chipped away along with the wallpaper.

He also asked for notice a few months in advance before we decide to move out, so I don't know how far into the house buying process I should wait before letting him know (if buying a house very soon is the right thing to do).

Thank you!

OP posts:
ageingdisgracefully · 27/12/2020 20:46

What does your tenancy agreement say?

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 20:49

We have a verbal tenancy agreement (which yes is a horrible idea, wasn't my first choice but I didn't want to keep pushing it at the risk of social fallout). All of our financial contributions e.g. deposit and rent are both accounted for and labelled appropriately, and we have texts evidencing that we are renting from them.

OP posts:
Calmandmeasured1 · 27/12/2020 20:51

I would just tell him now that you are looking at houses to give him the heads up and keep him appraised of progress. As he is your DH's colleague and has been good to you, it wouldn't be a great idea to let him down as it could sour relations between him and your husband. You may be able to both work together on this.

ChristmasAlone · 27/12/2020 20:55

So you'll rent for ever 🤷‍♂️. It's incredibly difficult to give a time frame or when you should give in the process because it can take months or sometimes weeks to get it over the line. I think fairest thing to do in these situations is wait for completion and then give a months notice.

Almostslimjim · 27/12/2020 20:55

Well legally you have a statutory periodic tenancy and only have to give one month's notice.

In terms of buying, it could take 6 months or longer to get somewhere. I wouldn't give notice until you've exchanged as up until then the purchase could fall through or the completion date move.

ChristmasAlone · 27/12/2020 20:57

But also let him know that you are looking and update. Starting the process of looking can still mean you're a year a way from moving if there's multiple chains and some complications.

ChristmasAlone · 27/12/2020 20:57

@Almostslimjim

Well legally you have a statutory periodic tenancy and only have to give one month's notice.

In terms of buying, it could take 6 months or longer to get somewhere. I wouldn't give notice until you've exchanged as up until then the purchase could fall through or the completion date move.

👍👍👍👍👍
Jimdandy · 27/12/2020 20:58

What @Almostslimjim said.

Also, if he wanted/needed you out sure he wouldn’t have any qualms about evicting you both of his circumstances changed.

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 21:01

Yeah so there were some financial incentives to moving out earlier as well. There was a miscommunication when moving in, as we asked if gas / elec was included in the monthly rent payment to which they said yes but we got slapped with quite a big surprise bill about a month ago 😬

So it's been a great escape from a previously shitty tenancy, but as a PP mentioned I don't want to rent forever!

Is there an average amount of time buying a house takes or is it all up to the house & seller in question? Sorry, not particularly experienced in this as I imagine you can tell!

OP posts:
sunlight81 · 27/12/2020 21:02

Wow - verbal tenancy is very dodgy grounds on so many different levels!! On that basis alone I would be looking to leave ASAP.. if questioned, give this as the reason for such a short time at the property!!

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 21:03

Yes @sunlight81 I was very concerned about it but they pushed on not having one, as supposedly they only rent out to people they know and so don't need physical paper contracts. It's a dodgy scenario, I wouldn't do it again unless absolutely necessary.

OP posts:
sunlight81 · 27/12/2020 21:03

Buying a house is a minimum of approx 6w average of approx 3months but can take 6m depending on individual circumstances

dawnc27 · 27/12/2020 21:05

is the deposit protected? have up to date gas/elec safety checks?

user1471538283 · 27/12/2020 21:06

It could take 6 months to find somewhere and move so I would tell him in February you are looking. The problem is you have no agreement so he could give you no notice if he finds someone else. Could you ask for a 6 month contract or a 12 month with a 6 month break clause? I'm currently renting on a 12 month contract which I hope to just not renew although I will give some notice

SnackSizeRaisin · 27/12/2020 21:08

Don't feel bad about moving out - circumstances change and you should do what is best for you. No doubt he would ask you to leave if he suddenly needed to sell due to unforeseen circumstances. If he is a good friend maybe tell him you are looking but will give a month's notice before moving out. If you think he will be awkward wait until you are sure of what date you will no longer need the flat. As others said it could take a year before finding something suitable, getting all the paperwork done and moving in.
Is it even legal to have no written agreement?

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 21:08

is the deposit protected? have up to date gas/elec safety checks?

I'm not sure about the deposit. We sent the deposit to them directly via a Banking app, they may be holding it personally I'm not sure. Pretty sure everything gas / elec was up to date as we had to call someone out after we got slapped with the bill a month ago.

OP posts:
privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 21:10

Is it even legal to have no written agreement?

Legal but not recommended is the case, I think.

Could you ask for a 6 month contract or a 12 month with a 6 month break clause?

I could, it's a good idea but since it's a verbal contract and the landlord hasn't laid out specific time contracts, it might not achieve very much other than saying it for the sake of saying it (unless I recorded it but I don't think he'd like that)

OP posts:
JamieFrasersSwingingKilt · 27/12/2020 21:12

I wouldn't tell him until you've had an offer accepted in a property. Once you find somewhere to buy (and who knows how long that'll take?), it could still take 2-3 months to complete a purchase - and that's without factoring in a long chain.

Trollsinthedungeon · 27/12/2020 21:16

@privilegeporridge not having a tenancy agreement isn't an issues as the landlord needs to prove fixed term and you don't have an agreement so there is no proof. You also have proof of rent payment so there is no issue. Just wait til completion and say you're moving out in a month

RB68 · 27/12/2020 21:16

I wouldn't worry about verbal promises regarding long erm. Just get the money sorted (it always takes longer than you think) and start looking. The notice under contract should be one month if we look at a standard contract (look at freq of rent and go with that ie monthly) but likely hood is you will be able to give 2 or three months and to be honest always good to have some overlap if you can afford it - get a bit of decorating or repairs done etc whilst not in the house - even getting carpets fitted is easier when empty

MistyGreenAndBlue · 27/12/2020 21:17

If the deposit was protected you would know as you are notified of this. If it's not, he's breaking the law.
I wouldn't like your situation at all. Do what you have to do. Your LL will. He sounds dodgy to me.

AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 27/12/2020 21:17

It took us about 6-9 months to find our house but we bought / completed in 6 weeks once we did. So there's no right answer to this really.

ThePants999 · 27/12/2020 21:18

If your landlord has already broken a verbal promise about including gas/electricity in the rent, then I'd have no qualms about moving out ASAP and giving the minimum notice...

privilegeporridge · 27/12/2020 21:19

I'm a little paranoid as it's quite a delicate balancing act. I don't want to leave it too late and have it damage my husband's social relationship with the landlord, but I also don't want to leave it too early in case he does anything shifty and tries to kick us out. I'm tempted to give him a month's notice but he's asked for a few months (I'm thinking 2-3), so I don't know what is best. I usually try to avoid renting from people I know as it's more complicated to up sticks.

OP posts:
MistyGreenAndBlue · 27/12/2020 21:19

@ThePants999

If your landlord has already broken a verbal promise about including gas/electricity in the rent, then I'd have no qualms about moving out ASAP and giving the minimum notice...
Also this