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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I have to organise everything

5 replies

SmudgeButt · 27/12/2020 14:09

I have a couple of friends from a place we all worked a dozen years back. They are both interesting and fun to chat with - when we manage to get together. But neither will ever organise anything.

I was texting with one recently and she said we should get together (covid rules, outdoors for a coffee/chat) and I agreed that would be nice. She replied she's not back to work until the 4th and I reply I'm back to work on 29th. She replies maybe we could do a weekend.

And this is where things (as always) fall apart. She is incapable of saying "ok, Saturday at 2 pm by the Costa near you" or anything similar. If I don't make the arrangements it doesn't happen.

My life has become very hectic but if she arranged something and I agreed to it I would be there as I would organise my life around it. I have arranged things for the last 12 years, hosted dinners, parties, even arranged when she would host dinner (because she won't commit otherwise). I have told her I can't continue to do this but she won't arrange anything.

When we do get together we will end up chatting non stop for hours - she's an interesting individual and while we have very different lives we get along very well - except when it come to arranging things.

AIBU? Or can you suggest a way for her to pick things up?

OP posts:
Thatwentbadly · 27/12/2020 14:12

Have your tried asking out right what time and where shall we meet?

SmudgeButt · 01/01/2021 15:38

@Thatwentbadly

Have your tried asking out right what time and where shall we meet?
Yes I ask that exactly and get a vague reply like "whatever suits you". If I say - please organise it the answer is "but you're so busy and i don't know what will suit you." It's tiring!
OP posts:
BornIn78 · 01/01/2021 15:41

“Weekends are good for me, tell me a day, time and place and I’ll be there”.

Thehop · 01/01/2021 15:42

Start by giving 2 options. Then three, then “any weekend, let me know”

warmandtoasty2day · 01/01/2021 15:47

sorry but imo, if they / she were that bothered to meet i think they'd be more inclined to set a date and time.
'friendships' can drag on with the thinnest of links, sometimes it's better toletgoand bring people into your life who want to see you, via zoom etc in current conditions.

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