Storm in a teacup??

[alliejay81]

I'm probably BU and it's definitely a storm in a teacup, so I suspect I'm going to get my arse handed to me.

DS11 woke me up this morning moaning because DH told him he wasn't allowed to watch the Simpsons today. DS11 spent most of yesterday watching the Simpsons (we had a chill out day), but DH had told him this was ok as it was the holidays, so seemed like an about turn this morning. From my perspective I was annoyed as DH isn't going to be at home this afternoon so effectively I will have to enforce an instruction I didn't agree to and don't particularly agree with.

Anyway, I went downstairs to have a chat with DH, so asked to come and to talk to me away from MIL (we're a support bubble). It didn't go very well, I didn't explain myself very well, I didn't shout but I definitely expressed my annoyance. DH shouted a little and stormed off as MIL came in. I said "oh dear that didn't go well" and made MIL some breakfast.

I went off to find DH and apologise. He said he was too angry to talk, so I left him alone.

DH is now downstairs building lego with DS (well DS is watching) and MIL is in the same room. DH hasn't spoken to me since but is amicably talking to DS and MIL. Because DH hasn't spoken to me I feel miserable and also a bit left out. Clearly I could just sit at the table with everyone else and brazen it out. I just feel a bit uncomfortable in my own home.

YABU - just crack on with your day and brazen it out, no need to feel uncomfortable
YANBU - Carry on feeling uncomfortable and doing something in a different room

@MRex

It's not "silent treatment" at all from what OP said. He's just being a parent, then way pissed off because he was pulled up on it unreasonably by the OP. He shouted "I can't be doing with this" and stormed off. That's all he did, and I'd also be pissed off if DH started moaning about a reasonable decision, or vice versa he'd be annoyed if I did it.

She said he hasn't spoken to her since but is amicably chatting away to DS and MIL, leaving OP feeling awkward. Sounds like the silent treatment to me.

@MRex

It seems very reasonable to say binge watching TV is one day only, then play lego. I'm not sure why you aren't supporting him in it and suspect you aren't sure either except that you feel it's placing a boundary on your own parenting, but that's just a natural outcome and you could take advantage of the time to play games you enjoy with DS. I can sometimes unnecessary comment on parenting DH is doing and have to learn to step back too. What's best is to just go downstairs, say to him "Sorry, I shouldn't have interfered. Friends again?" Then join in the game.

I think you're probably right. My personal parenting philosophy is not to try and control DS, because that sets up a winner / loser situation. I just don't blanket enforce stuff ever.

I feel sorry for your MIL. Bet she can’t wait to go home.

@OhOkayThenx

Are you scared of him? Scared of upsetting him? Who cares of the DS wants to watch TV. It's the holidays and let's face it we can't go anywhere or mix with anyone.

Not physically scared. He's a bit more verbally aggressive than I'd ideally like, but nothing like some of the things you read on here. He definitely doesn't call names or insult (neither do I). Just shouts a bit and storms off a lot.

I agree with you OP - l ouldn't say that to DD and make DH enforce it if l was going out. Puts you in a position because you don't want to undermine him but actually so what if you DS watches tv all day ? Nothing else to do!! I would maybe say but when l decide it goes off, no complaining but honestly think mountain and molehill

Sulking is pathetic. I think your DH is seriously overreacting. If he's made a decision that OP disagrees with and hasn't even discussed it with her (and is expecting her to enforce it) then she's entitled to question it with him.

OP, act like you don't give a shit about his mood. Take yourself off and do whatever you feel like doing. Don't reward your childish husband with the oxygen of attention.

Also there's nothing wrong with spending a couple of days watching TV over Christmas. Sounds to me like the husband wanted an excuse to play with the Lego and has imposed his will on everyone else.