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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if it took you a while to get pregnant, what helped?

49 replies

Egghatcher · 27/12/2020 09:48

We’ve been trying for almost a year. Have tried SMEP, both take prenatal vitamins, have really cut down on our drinking and track ovulation. We’ve still had no luck. I have a teenager and got pregnant last year but sadly suffered a late miscarriage so I know I can get pregnant. It just doesn’t seem to be happening for us now.

Does anyone have any top tips? TTC is hard work and were not getting any younger. (We’re both late 30’s)

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
DebbieDowner101 · 27/12/2020 09:50

Evening primrose oil and starflower oil worked for me. Had been trying for 3 years without any luck before then.

Adelais · 27/12/2020 09:54

Agnus castus helped the first time, I had long irregular cycles and it gave me a regular cycle and I conceived.
My second child was conceived the first cycle we used something called serrapeptase, you can buy it on Amazon.
Good luck with ttc.

Isteamagoodham · 27/12/2020 09:55

Someone I know conceived in a few months using an ovulation tracker app and taking the vitamins used by Luisa Zissman in this blog post. www.luisazissman.co.uk/?p=647

Hope this helps!

RuthW · 27/12/2020 10:04

We tried for three years including iui. We decided to give up, at least for 6 months. I was pregnant three months later.

SallyLovesCheese · 27/12/2020 10:06

Took us a couple of years to get pregnant, miscarried, then another 5 months to have a successful pregnancy.

What helped me the second time (even just as a placebo, but hey, it all helped!) was acupuncture, a moonstone fertility bracelet and taking baby aspirin from the day of ovulation until I got my bfp.

Make of that what you will! But after years of struggle and depression, for whatever reasons it all worked, I am very happy!

Doddlebug2000 · 27/12/2020 10:08

Completely forget about it and make other plans, I was ttc for almost 3 years and the year I applied for uni and stopped obsessing, it happened. I had tried everything possible that you mentioned too.

Bigpinkslippers · 27/12/2020 10:09

I got pregnant both times after having reflexology (2nd time i'd been trying for 7 months), could be pure coincidence but hey, I like having my feet rubbed and got a baby too so win win.

MajorMujer · 27/12/2020 10:11

We had dc 1 no problem, then tried for a full 2 years for dc 2, were referred to the fertility specialist. Then our appointment was delayed by 3 months. We stopped " trying" . We relaxed. We had sex spontaneously, not according to my temperature/ cycle. I got pregnant.

YorkshireGirl35 · 27/12/2020 10:11

I think Evening Primrose helped me as I never really had what other people described as EWCM before I started taking it.

ExclamationPerfume · 27/12/2020 10:11

Agnus Castus worked the first month after two years of trying.

Fatladyslim · 27/12/2020 10:13

Quit smoking and lost 10% body weight

Had been a trying for 7 years

Ihaveoflate · 27/12/2020 10:16

Reflexology and soy isoflavones - we had been trying for 2 years and had 2 miscarriages in that time.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 27/12/2020 10:16

Time. Without wishing to be rude, no one can know that the minor tweak they made at the end of TTC was responsible. It may well be that that’s the month they’d have got lucky, whatever. EG, not a minor change, but I started on metformin for PCOS having tried for a couple of years with no success. As it happens, I conceived just before starting the medication.

Good luck OP

Original poster
Egghatcher · 27/12/2020 10:32

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

It’s really hard to make plans whilst being in the midsts of Covid. We can’t really book a holiday or anything like that. It feels like life has stood still!

I’ve had day 3 and day 21 bloods taken this month and both were fine. My BMI is high so I definitely need to address that. I ovulate regularly (day 15) and my cycle is always 29 days.

Tempted to try reflexology or acupuncture.

OP posts:
lillg · 27/12/2020 11:05

A few people have said similar, but I had accupuncture and within 2 months was pregnant. My acupuncturist gave me Chinese herbs and a diet to follow and I couldn't believe how quickly I fell.
We had been trying for 4 years prior to that, and had 2 early miscarrriages. I'm 34 now. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 20 weeks on Christmas eve, but will definitely be going back for accupuncture when I have got over the grief.
Good luck!

Original poster
Egghatcher · 27/12/2020 11:24

@lillg I am so sorry for your loss. It is the worst pain and it’s still such early days for you. I hope you’re doing ok. Flowers

There’s a lady locally who offers acupuncture, I’ll contact her in the new year for sure.

OP posts:
Elouera · 27/12/2020 11:32

A few things might help. Even though your day 21 was normal and you've had a child years ago, doesnt mean things are still ok. A higher BMI has a massive impact on your hormones and body, along with increasing the likelihood of fibroids. Have you had a scan, hsg or hycosy? Is the father of your teenager the same person you are TTC with now? Has he had any testing?

I recommend a book called 'It starts with an egg'. I got a cheap copy from ebay, but make sure its the latest one. Cant say its helped, as I just had my 2nd round of IVF, but certainly makes you think about diet and lifestyle and how it can impact fertility

I started DH on lycopene, as read some research papers about it improving sperm quality

I started TTC age 32. regular cycles, day 21 blood was normal but TTC 4yrs. DH and I both lost 10kg (I was in the just overweight range) and we concieved. Unfortunately I had an MC, but certainly think the weight loss helped.

Littlecaf · 27/12/2020 11:35

I lost weight (about 1.5 stone) and got a new job! Got pregnant the first week of new job.Blush I think it was a mindset change and new perspective which helped!

Lottie2shoes · 27/12/2020 11:45

Hi. Just wanted to add, giving up on trying. Stopped thinking about getting pregnant, stopped following ovulation trackers etc, deleted all pregnancy apps on phone. Decided I wasn't getting pregnant so just enjoy life as it comes. I got pregnant very quickly. Now just hoping it sticks...

PeachesBright · 27/12/2020 11:46

We had been TTC for exactly 12 months.. and during those 12 months, it was my obsession: ovulation kits, ovulation apps, pre-pregnancy vitamins, scheduled sex.
I was stressed the entire time.

Month 13.. it was the start of lockdown (part 1) in March. Both DP and I are front line emergency services.. we were so distracted by the pandemic and the changing dynamics at work.. it took our minds off of TTC. We still had sex, but it was all spontaneous, rather than some spontaneous and some scheduled. I didn't look at the ovulation apps and didn't use any ovulation kits. The only thing I did do that was actively in support of TTC was.. after sex, I would relax on the bed for at least 15 mins afterwards with my legs up against the headboard to encourage the semen to head ..in the right direction. I'd done this months previously, but only for around 5 mins.

First week of May, I got my BFP. Baby is due in 2 weeks!

Good luck. I know it's so much easier said than done, but obsessing about TTC and making it your main focus in life is going to stress you out and that won't help you.

Elouera · 27/12/2020 11:48

Another thing I found was a reusable salive OPK. Despite ovulating, I never got a positive with the urine types and they were costing a fortune. I bought the saliva type in Aus, but you can get them online, and they look like a tiny microscope. Easy to use and worked out cheaper in the long run.

Ohwhatbliss · 27/12/2020 11:50

We tried for 18 months for our first. There were two things I think that helped us conceive, the HSG procedure I had (all clear but I've heard it can shift any minor blockages in the tubes) and the month I conceived, for the first time in the process, we had sex in the morning rather than at night.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 27/12/2020 11:52

4 years of trying, then had twins. A colleague is convinced it was due to a particularly bad hay fever season that year and I was dosed up on anti histamine. She thinks I was ‘allergic’ to DHs sperm and this helped🤷🏼‍♀️ ... who knows.

lillg · 27/12/2020 11:53

Thanks @eggcatcher. Taking it one day at a time.
My first miscarriage was when I was ill with a kidney stone and my second was when I started a new job. I'm sure my body just knows the most inconvenient times!
My BMI is around 29/30. It is better for me when I loose a little weight. Not sure I'll succeed on that with grief and Christmas chocolate around!

BasedInDublin · 27/12/2020 11:55

It took us almost 3 years for 1st one, then second was within 3 months. We'd been through docs, tests, adjusted lifestyle (which was not a bad lifestyle either), was careful on exercise, sleep, food, just generally being healthy I guess.

A few different things that I feel helped:

  • reduced/stopped most work travel (I was going a lot of international travel)
  • It was rather mechanical at the start, but it was straightforward missionary DTD, then I'd lie back with pillow, "finish" myself IYSWIM once, sometimes twice, and wait there reading a book for 20 mins
  • To reduce stress I did reduce contact with a few people, did not take on too much, tried to keep fairly regular work hours, and tried to enjoy myself

I wish you all the best OP!! It can be very frustrating

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