AIBU or are they?

10 replies

Cheeseboardandmincepies · 27/12/2020 09:18

Me (tier 3) db (tier 4) and dp (tier 3) all live in different areas.
Obviously this year I haven’t been able to see either of them or the rest of my family even in the summer my dm said she can’t visit as she’s scared of catching COVID19 and couldnt risk passing it onto DGM who is currently having chemo, fair enough or so I thought.
It turns out she’s been visiting db and SIL and keeping quiet about it. I found out the other day as we was arranging to FaceTime and she told she couldn’t as they was going to db’s house... in a tier 4 area. My DB is a nurse who works on a covid ward and I know they won’t be making any social distancing from him.
AIBU to be upset? They’ve basically used covid not to see me for an entire year and have made me feel guilty over fb with silly statuses about missing my DC when they’re clearly not that bothered to be breaking tier rules and seeing my DB where they have a higher chance of catching it than what they have of driving to see me?
I don’t even know what to say to DP as it’s really upset me.

OP posts:

OrigamiOwl · 27/12/2020 09:32

I would be very hurt. Is your DB the golden child?

Thedarknightsaredrawingin · 27/12/2020 09:44

They are very unreasonable and hurtful. Sorry they have done this to you.

Halo1234 · 27/12/2020 09:49

Yanbu. Could there be more to it? Maybe your db not coping? I havent seen anyone my ds or parents but if one of them wasn't coping I would reconsider....especially if it was my ds who is mum to my niece and nephew. Maybe not but sounds strange to see one dc and not the other wondering id more could be going on? But if it has happend the way you think/it seems then thats hurtful and unreasonable of them.

Original poster

Cheeseboardandmincepies · 27/12/2020 09:55

My DB is fine, happiest he’s been in years. I speak regularly to my SIL and I’m always checking in on him and I know she’d be the first to tell me if something was wrong. I just don’t understand it at all, DP are always making me feel guilty and rubbish as they can’t see my DC but I haven’t even said “no you can’t see them.”
I’ve even offered to drive down to see them in the summer time when everything was relaxed and they refused then too.
I don’t like the term golden child but yes I guess he is.

OP posts:

AlwaysCheddar · 27/12/2020 10:10

From now on, every time They make a comment about not seeing you and the children, ask them why it’s fine to go and see your db. Call them out on it.why suffer in silence and get annoyed.

Randompersonisme · 27/12/2020 10:30

I'd call them out on it.

LouiseTrees · 27/12/2020 10:32

@Randompersonisme

I'd call them out on it.

Yep me too

SFHJ · 27/12/2020 10:35

Definitely call them out on it. That is not on!

Looneytune253 · 27/12/2020 10:43

Could it not be proximity? How easy is it to get to theirs versus yours? I might be tempted to make a 10 min journey but not a 40m one for example?

Original poster

Cheeseboardandmincepies · 27/12/2020 11:15

I live further away however that doesn’t really excuse the fact I offered to drive to theirs with DC and stay for a week and they refused. I know it’s not because DC would be to much for them, as they used to regularly see/have them. I just don’t understand their logic at all.

OP posts:

Flip