I am seeing so many threads with toxic families, people in tears, hiding in their bedrooms etc.
When you were a child you were reliant on your parents and siblings and if they were awful to you it meant years of sadness, hiding in your room crying.
As an adult- families may try to force us back into those roles which is why so many are feeling hopeless, sad, furious etc. You do not have to passively accept this, in fact it can be very cathartic to reestablish boundaries.
Decide how you want to deal with the expected rudeness/attacks/guilt tripping etc then stick to the plan eg
Leave the room/zoom call/phone call every time they behave badly without explanation
Have a set of pre learned phrases (sweet but sarcastic)-Goodness you really are extraordinary!
Hahaha of course you don’t like the dinner I spent six hours making- I would expect nothing else
What an incredible turn of phrase you have!
If you want to be more direct- tell them in a sentence how you feel- you are always so critical, snobby and condescending-if seeing me is so displeasing to you why continue? Manners cost nothing.
Alternatively download a Fake call app and every time they are rude- get a phone call - “Oh hello! How are you? Yes, I’m good. Yes they are being awful as usual but I’m used to it now” etc
Don’t let them get away with it, assert yourself in whatever way you see fit, maintain positive relations with everyone else and take it all with a pinch of salt. Say the things that the scared child within you couldn’t say. If you don’t feel that that is appropriate, leave. Have a very blessed, cheerful and healthy 2021 ❤️❤️❤️