Is an absent father really better than a bad one?

[Givemeabreak88]

Is it ever ok to stop contact? is an inconsistent deadbeat dad that constantly lets their children down really worse than an Absent one? Planning to stop contact between DC and their father but keep feeling guilty about it and wondering if it’s the right decision (he won’t take me to court)

I don’t think I will bother with solicitors letters, I can’t force him to parent more than he wants to which at the moment is not at all, that’s up to him to do I’ve already done enough trying to get him to step up and be involved.

I agree, I just thought it would reduce future guilt if he makes out that you prevented contact or says that to the DC. You know he's not going to take it up, but no court would order that you have to allow him in to use the loo/stay over! His life circumstances are not your problem.

Yeh I guess when someone is standing at the door asking to use the toilet I feel like I have no option but to let him, until I started realising it was every single time. Seemed like just a way to get into the house. I don’t feel guilty because I haven’t tried enough, I feel like I’ve tried way too much! I just feel guilty for my children not having a dad so wondering if an absent one was really better than a bad one as I’ve heard it said so many times on here.