AIBU to be upset about his attitude?

[CatsBooksAndCoffee]

Merry Christmas all! I hope it was great for you.
This is my first post on MN so please excuse any gaffes.
My birthday is Christmas Day. I had asked my husband on and off since November what he would like for Christmas; I spruced up the house ( painting, 'Soring cleaned' , made all his bookshelves look lovely ( he's not a very tidy person); did the Christmas decorations ( nicely even though I say so myself 😊) and planned and prepped for a nice day.
I said clearly that there were some things I'd put in the Amazon basket and I'd like cash.(to treat myself in new year to a massage or something similar that is a treat/luxury).
Christmas Eve when checking my orders ( ordered something for my mum and wanted to see update) the stuff I'd put in the basket was all there.
Christmas Day/birthday I get a card and a cake.
AIBU to be peed off? He knows I've had rotten birthdays ( like my dad and brother forgetting my 16th. I mean...how?! ), he even commented on my 40th re piss poor effort from family generally.
He knows how I try to make a fuss of others in my family on their day (eg: reminding other family members of upcoming birthday, asking weeks beforehand what they might like,cooking for them, etc)
I hope this doesn't sound entitled.i meant he could 'surprise' me with one or two of the small things I'd put in the Amazon basket.
He spent the day on his laptop, made no attempt to prepare any food for dinner and then started mocking me for being upset.

I ended up eating a bit of parmesan and chilli jam, smoking too many roll ups , drank half a bottle of Irish Cream and cried several times in bedroom.

He sounds like an arse but just day “ can I have your credit card, I’d like to spend x pound” then buy away

You're over 40 - and you're still harping on about your 16th? Just buy the bloody stuff on Amazon and put it on his card.

Like it. Thanks Louise 😊👍

I imagine it is less about getting things and more about the lack of care he is showing. I'd be upset too, op.

Actually, I think I'd be angry rather than upset. He shouldn't treat you with so little care.

Sounds like a twat.

Re 16th. No, just mentioned it for context.it was a long time ago but wasn't an isolated incident and a pattern began. That said, it isn't the most difficult date to remember I would think.

So, no Christmas present. No birthday present. A birthday card and a birthday cake. Have I got that right?

And it sounds like you had to nudge him about your birthday, by telling him what you wanted (or where to find what you wanted

This bit of your post does come across as a little ambiguous:
"there were some things in the Amazon basket and I'd like cash."
but even if it was, he still gave you no actual birthday present.

What happens with your Christmas presents to each other?

Thanks Stompy. I was (and am) yet the way he puts it , I'm being a martyr/victim.
I should probably have added how he went to big lengths for his dad's birthdays, one of the times shafting my opportunity to go to a one off event that was important to me because he booked his tickets without letting me know. It was possible to go to his dad's ( who lived abroad) in plenty of time for his birthday and for me to go to the event

@MrsTerryPratchett

Sounds like a twat.

Lol! Love the bluntness. 😆 Thanks I needed a laugh

What are his good points op?
Btw he knows he’s in the wrong which is why he’s deflecting.
If you stay with him adopt his birthday for yourself.
Every year on his birthday buy yourself a beautiful gift.

@TheSilveryPussycat

So, no Christmas present. No birthday present. A birthday card and a birthday cake. Have I got that right?

And it sounds like you had to nudge him about your birthday, by telling him what you wanted (or where to find what you wanted

This bit of your post does come across as a little ambiguous:
"there were some things in the Amazon basket and I'd like cash."
but even if it was, he still gave you no actual birthday present.

What happens with your Christmas presents to each other?

TheSilveryPussycat ( love the name!) Yes, a card and cake. Yes, I did nudge him to make it simple for him. I ask people outright what they'd like rather than me ballsing it up with guesswork.

Oreservoir:
He'll meet me from the Tube station if it's late at night, go out of his way to pick up shopping and was good with my mum if she needed help ( like going to/from airport).
Like the idea of adopting his birthday and beautiful gift 😁 Thank you
Thanks

Hello fellow Christmas day baby waves

My dad always forgets my birthday. He thinks its boxing day. Hmm. And my birthdays are never really celebrated, it sucks! Your husband really should go out of his way to make the day special for you! You must order all those items, on his card and get him to give you money too! Some men are just unthoughtful! Its bad enough they expect the woman to do most things on the build up & on the day of Christmas.

@HeyMister

Hello fellow Christmas day baby waves

My dad always forgets my birthday. He thinks its boxing day. Hmm. And my birthdays are never really celebrated, it sucks! Your husband really should go out of his way to make the day special for you! You must order all those items, on his card and get him to give you money too! Some men are just unthoughtful! Its bad enough they expect the woman to do most things on the build up & on the day of Christmas.

🙋Hi fellow Christmas baby! Looks like it may be a Christmas birth thing then 🙄😁Well, a very happy (belated) birthday to you and many happy returns 🎂🥂🎁🎉🍷🌟🌠

Sorry SilveryPussycat: I meant to clarify: I'd asked him many times what he'd like or Christmas and he insisted that he didn't want anything; the items in the Amazon basket were books, any of which I'd have loved to open Christmas morning; the cash was for me to get a massage (or similar) after lockdown

@CatsBooksAndCoffee Thank you & Happy Belated birthday to you too.

[quote HeyMister]@CatsBooksAndCoffee Thank you & Happy Belated birthday to you too. [/quote]
Thank you! 😘🥂💐

I agree, he sounds like a twat. Don't make special effort for him, just get a card from now on, as that what he got you. He's not worth it, OP.

Thanks Coldwaterfeed.

It's good to get objective viewpoints and I appreciate all your comments.
I start to doubt myself sometimes when he starts with the BS.

What an arse!!

Happy belated birthday 🥳 🎂 x

Aww, thank you Bookworming. Happy Christmas to you 🥂