Gavin & Stacey friendship envy

[Rosepaperblue]

Mid-way through my annual binge-watch of the Gavin & Stacey Christmas specials and it's got me thinking about the friendship dynamics. Gavin & Smithy, Stacey & Nessa, Pam, Mick, Dawn & Peter, the bonds are just incredible. I know it's just TV, but I can't help but wish I was lucky enough to have even one friend like that. Friends who truly love you, who know everything about you, know the same people you do, shares in-jokes and little catchphrases or sayings with you....the type who knows your parents and pours themselves a drink and makes themselves at home in your house.

I don't think I've had anything remotely like it since I left school! With the few friends I have it's all polite chit-chat over a coffee every few weeks. I'm not a particularly gregarious person.

I know plenty of people will come on to say that it's all fiction and dramatised for TV but I know there must be plenty of people lucky enough to have these kind of friendships.

How do you form such close bonds with people after you leave school? And particularly if you don't have children/mum-friends?

My sister has friends like that. She makes friends so incredibly easily, and I've always envied that. She moved during the first lockdown and already knows all her neighbours, they do favours for her, she looks after their kids, etc. She's kept in touch with all her friends from school and uni, and instantly bonds with coworkers whenever she starts a new job.

I, on the other hand, don't even really have friends, just colleagues or acquaintances. I'm friendly with people, but none of us have time to go out together or spend ages on the phone. I spend more time with my DC's friends parents than I do with people I've chosen as my friends for myself.

I have a friend like this. She's my sister in many ways. Helps herself, my home is hers. I know all and she knows all. It's a blessing and a curse, I often think.

A lot of it is by making sure you don't follow so many MNers who :

• don't open the door if they aren't expecting anyone / don't feel like it
• make people feel uncomfortable by making them take shoes off when they come to their house
• don't like it when people pop in unexpectedly, or even think it is rude
• wouldn't ever leave their child with a babysitter
• don't speak to their neighbours
• are incredibly suspicious if their partner forms a friendship with someone of another sex
• don't have dcs' friends round to their house unless the dcs' friends' parents have reciprocated the invitation the exact number of times
• won't offer a lift to a dc or family that need it unless the family have reciprocated an equal number of times
• "cut people out of their lives" / "drop friends" / "break off the friendship" for the slightest thing, or even perceived slight

etc
etc

I think you have to be more relaxed than so many MNers, in order to form friendships

I have friendships like this and so does DH, I hadn't really thought about it before but I won't take them for granted now you have highlighted how fortunate we are. My in laws are just like the Shipmans too, the life and soul of the party, totally lovely and all our friends love them too (and DH is an only child so v similar dymanics). However, sadly I don't have a close relationship with my mother like Stacey does.

@BackforGood

A lot of it is by making sure you don't follow so many MNers who :

• don't open the door if they aren't expecting anyone / don't feel like it
• make people feel uncomfortable by making them take shoes off when they come to their house
• don't like it when people pop in unexpectedly, or even think it is rude
• wouldn't ever leave their child with a babysitter
• don't speak to their neighbours
• are incredibly suspicious if their partner forms a friendship with someone of another sex
• don't have dcs' friends round to their house unless the dcs' friends' parents have reciprocated the invitation the exact number of times
• won't offer a lift to a dc or family that need it unless the family have reciprocated an equal number of times
• "cut people out of their lives" / "drop friends" / "break off the friendship" for the slightest thing, or even perceived slight

etc
etc

I think you have to be more relaxed than so many MNers, in order to form friendships

Yep !

I have friendships like that.

Two have been my closest friends since we were toddlers as our parents were best friends from then. They are like sisters to me as we know everything about each other, go to siblings weddings, parents parties etc. My parents were part of a babysitting circle in the 70s and that circle have stayed friends for life so I am blessed with having lots of secondary parents and siblings who I may not see all the time but we do keep in touch and would always be there to support each other when needed. I probably learnt about friendship from all of them.

I am also really lucky in that I have made other friends along the way who I am really close to who also know my family and everything about me.

All these friends I could ring anytime day or night and they would be with me in a flash, and vice versa.

@BackforGood

A lot of it is by making sure you don't follow so many MNers who :

• don't open the door if they aren't expecting anyone / don't feel like it
• make people feel uncomfortable by making them take shoes off when they come to their house
• don't like it when people pop in unexpectedly, or even think it is rude
• wouldn't ever leave their child with a babysitter
• don't speak to their neighbours
• are incredibly suspicious if their partner forms a friendship with someone of another sex
• don't have dcs' friends round to their house unless the dcs' friends' parents have reciprocated the invitation the exact number of times
• won't offer a lift to a dc or family that need it unless the family have reciprocated an equal number of times
• "cut people out of their lives" / "drop friends" / "break off the friendship" for the slightest thing, or even perceived slight

etc
etc

I think you have to be more relaxed than so many MNers, in order to form friendships

Exactly!