Was I BU - doing it all again today!

[NiceandCalm]

Not sure if I, my DM or DB were BU, or we all were but having to do it all again today so want to be better prepared.
So Xmas eve myself and DS went to my DM's, she insists (doesn't want to miss out on my DS opening presents etc). Xmas day consisted of myself, DS, DM and DB (who lives there) , my DP came over for lunch. All is well.
My DB has his kids today (at my DM's house) - so a 2nd xmas.
Last night my DS (ASD) asked if I could bring back a game, which would require moving the dining table so he could play it. Not a problem, easily movable. My DB gets the hump and tells him he can't. A bit of back story, he's always been super bossy with my DS unlike with his own DS (same age). Initially I tried to put my DS off but after a bit of thought and with DM on my side, I agreed to bring the game. Suddenly, during tea my DB flounced off to another room saying he was never having xmas with us (ALL) again. I told him to grow up. Xmas is for kids right? Not wanting to be in a hostile environment, we all went back home and I said I'd come over at tea time rather than the full day, which was what we agreed. My reasoning was because my DB would be able to relax and focus on his DC, my DS could play his game at home until tea time and we wouldn't bring it over. My DM was upset, said xmas is ruined etc.
It all seems so trivial and not sure why my DB reacted the way he did.

It seems a bit mean to leave your DM when it wasn't her fault.

YANBU. It's DM's house and if she didn't mind the table being moved then it's none of DB's business.

The fact that he is bossy with your son is worrying, it's good you stand up for your son. Does DB regularly treat his son and nephew differently (i.e. telling off your son for things he lets his son get away with)?

I think it's quite rude to tell your child they can play a game that involves moving furniture around at someone else's house, without checking it's ok with them first.
Other than that, it sounds like normal Christmas family fallouts. You and your brother both reverted to child behaviour and he was probably annoyed you were treating his house as though it was yours.

Yanbu

Did your mum mind the table being moved? If no, your brother had no right sticking his nose in

Why is he so strict on your son but not his own?

Christmas is for everyone not just kids. It sounds as though planning 2 days at your mothers was too much and it sounds like lots of people mixing too. I'd have just had yesterday at your mum's and your brother and his family could have gone today although that still sounds like a lot of people for your mum to be meeting and she should have just stuck to one of you

It was only pushing a table back and my DM agreed it was ok. It's not my DB's house and it wouldn't have impacted him at all. My DN only has to cry and my DB caves in. My DS rarely cries, due to ASD he just repeats himself and asks for logical reasons why not. I didn't flounce off. I explained to my DM that I understand my DB is missing his DC xmas day and we'd keep out of their hair, let them enjoy opening presents and have my DM full attention until we go back at tea time. Quite reasonable and considerate I thought.

It was only pushing a table back and my DM agreed it was ok. It's not my DB's house and it wouldn't have impacted him at all.

Did she agree to keep the peace or did you ask her first before you started moving furniture about (your OP reads like the former).

You said previously that DB lived there, and now you say it's not his house - which is it?

Clearly stated in the OP after a bit of thought and with DM on my side.

Your brother sounds like a nobhead and I'd put a stop to him always been super bossy with my DS unlike with his own DS as of today.

I think your compromise of staying away today until teatime is perfect, and your mum needs to get a grip with her wailing of "Xmas is ruined", I can see where your brother gets it from.

I think you're right not to spend another full day with them all. DB doesn't sound very tolerant of DS and that's no fun for DS, especially if DN is treated differently. Enjoy today and then have a short visit later. I think you handled it all well.

What game was it? Did it take a lot of living room space?

When your Mum wails Christmas is ruined yoy need to tell her she's being ridiculous

When you all start to get on each other’s nerves over daft things, its right to curtail plans to spend another day on top of each other.