Gifts

[Justvisitingthisplanet]

This is about birthday presents just as much as Christmas...
I live alone and though I have enough money I don't have any spare. For birthdays I can only afford £10 gift as I have to take the money out of my food budget.
The thing is, my parents can afford to routinely buy themselves things I'd consider a treat e.g. nice box of chocolates. If I give those as a gift I just look mean and miserly. Likewise I've often sent £10 voucher as a birthday gift, only to find out other members of the family have sent £20 or £50.
I just feel embarrassed and rubbish because I can only afford inferior gifts.

Most gifts are just tokens anyway. If your family are decent people they'll appreciate the gesture and would feel horrified of you spending more than you could afford.

I'd consider giving something without such a monetary value as a voucher. What about an edible gift? Sloe gin, gingerbread, biscuits, chutneys, preserved fruit, citrus rind etc?
Or something crafty? Knitted/crochet rug, home made candles, bath bombs etc?

The thing is I've read comments on other posts along the lines "I spent £££ on a gift for (name the relative) and all I got in return was home made (name the item).

@Justvisitingthisplanet

The thing is I've read comments on other posts along the lines "I spent £££ on a gift for (name the relative) and all I got in return was home made (name the item).

Are your parents making comments like that? If so don't buy them any more gifts, if it's other people then ignore.

I've often sent £10 voucher as a birthday gift, only to find out other members of the family have sent £20 or £50. Your gift isn’t inferior. You’ve given a larger percentage of your household income than they have.

If it really bothers you, are you able to pick up things through the year in sales? I found a very nice brand item usually costing £45 for £8 when all the winter stuff went on sale earlier this year, so I bought a few of them. Obviously I understand you’re not in a position to do that, but two or three sales throughout the year might help. Also, get creative. Take your phone or camera to family events next year and take photos as much as you can without anyone noticing. A parents & child having a cuddle, a couple laughing together etc. Some cheap photo frames and a printed photo costs well under £10 but the thought and effort that you’ll have gone to to give them that gift would mean everything to any normal person. I’d much rather someone thought enough of me to do that for me, than shoved £50 in an envelope.

I am a parent of adult children.
I don't need any gifts and tell people not to get them for me.
Gift giving based on monetary values is crass- I might give one of my nephews a £30 gift on year and a £500 the next, I try and buy something they will love.

My DS bought me a 70p bar of chocolate- I was delighted. It is the thought that counts.

My DD got me a second hand bit of glass from a charity shop- it was less than £5 but she knows that I collect it (it is worth about £80). She got it last Feb and has been desperate to give it to me.

@Justvisitingthisplanet

The thing is I've read comments on other posts along the lines "I spent £££ on a gift for (name the relative) and all I got in return was home made (name the item).

Only by people who are self obsessed idiots

Genuine people don't give to receive. They give for pleasure and love and are equally happy to receive nothing back.

Would you rather be genuine or a self obsessed awful person?