to feel utterly hopeless this boxing day?

[radiateforme]

My son has nearly spent half his life in lockdown of some form, he has hardly socialised with other children this year, I moved just before lockdown as I left an abusive relationship so have struggled meeting people in lockdown. Just been diagnosed with OCD. Sertraline upped to 200mg. My support bubble is my mum which I am very grateful for. But just feeling tired and like I'm living a pointless existence. Just before we went in to tier 4 my doctor suggested that my mental health would improve if I did things I enjoy. Swimming, seeing friends, going to toddler groups etc. I don't think I'll have any more children and maybe selfishly feel hard done by and like I'm missing out. I am exhausted. I'm bored. I hate our government. I'm sure so many people feel the same and I'm absolutely not alone, but sometimes in my haze of poor mh, it feels like I am. How do you cope?

Things change and this too will pass. Do one thing new you can enjoy eg get out for a walk every day with your little one. Be kind to yourself and your Mum. How about giving her a hand massage? What about keeping a gratitude journal? Concentrate on the good things in your life not the bad things. Tell yourself 3 positive things each night before you go to sleep. Like any illness, your MH will get better and life as we currently know it will improve. One day at a time. Wishing you love.

OP, Boxing Day is perhaps a time when these feelings are exacerbated. The fun and enjoyment of Xmas are over, it’s the darkest time of year, the whole winter lies ahead - and this year we have the pandemic and lockdown for added misery.
But as Spababe said, these things pass. Life is not static, there will be good times and bad times.
Your higher dose of Sertraline will take a while to be effective. In the meantime, focus on the positive.
You should be hugely proud of yourself for finding the strength to leave an abuser - that took courage and is a major achievement. You need some time to process all that and deal with the emotional aftermath before you are ready to move on to the next, happier stage of your life.

The daylight is getting longer and the sun stronger each day. We are heading for Spring. The vaccine is being rolled out as fast as possible.
Your mood and wellbeing will begin to improve, and life will start to open up as normal socialising resumes.
Use the time until then to work on your self esteem, to ensure you can spot abusers and maintain boundaries in future relationships. Practise being kind to yourself- pamper yourself with some treats, a nice soak in a bath, a box of chocs, curl up with a good book, have some country walks. Anything that you enjoy, and lifts your spirits.
And remember that you matter, and are loved by your child, by your mum and by God, just as you are.

Hang on in there, OP. Better times will come for you, and all of us.