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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What period of your life did you make the most friends?

62 replies

Heavenly44 · 25/12/2020 21:01

Whether that be school , work , social clubs , when did you make the most friends

I would say primary school was peak popularity for me.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 25/12/2020 21:05

I think for most people it will be primary school as it’s easy to make friends as a small child (as other children are not judgemental unlike adults), other than school I think I have made more friends since being divorced a couple years ago, I have hobbies and interests and have done a bit of online dating where I have made new friends. I pm late 30’s, I’m hoping my 40’s will be even better and I will make more friends.

katy1213 · 25/12/2020 21:09

I've rather surprised myself by making good friends in later life. But once you stop working full-time, it's rather like being young again with time to hang out and develop new interests - it's the middle years when you don't have time for the friends you've got, let alone new ones.

sqirrelfriends · 25/12/2020 21:11

Uni, pretty much everyone is starting out not knowing each other which helps.

And again when I started my job at the same time as loads of other youngish people, it was full on so we depended on each other.

Now I'm older friendships are different and more difficult to come by.

Maryis · 25/12/2020 21:12

University I'd say although they are no longer close friends (apart from the one I married!) I met so many people and I'm vaguely in touch with most

sherrystrull · 25/12/2020 21:12

A level.
I had a massive group of friends. I'm still friends with some today. It was definitely the best time of my life.

Shinylikeglass · 25/12/2020 21:15

When I had babies and toddlers, ante natal class and toddler groups were invaluable and I had some good friends' support during that period, althigub most didn't survive the DC growing up.

Then when I joined a running club. I've met some really lovely people through running and have more friends now at 50 than I ever have.

I've never really had friends at work. I have people I'm friendly with but those relationships have never developed outside of work.

CoronaIsWatching · 25/12/2020 21:15

No idea, never really? Always preferred my own company ever since I was a toddler really

WitsEnding · 25/12/2020 21:16

I agree with Katy - since retirement I have many more friends. I have so much spare time now, I can keep in touch with people properly.

JustDanceAddict · 25/12/2020 21:18

Mid-teens when I joined a youth club. My closest friends are still the same as they were when I was 16 although then was a big gang I have retained a core group.
Also I made quite a few when the DCs started primary school, but most have lost contact now as was prob based on seeing each other every day, a bit like when you make friends at work.
Basically my friends are a big mix from when I was at school (only two I still see irl), aforementioned club, uni (although mainly on FB now), ‘mum’ friends & work.

Livinghereisok · 25/12/2020 21:18

In my 20's. I had friends from school and uni that I was still in regular contact with, volunteered, had lots of hobbies, lived in a flatshare and worked in a big office with lots of other people in their 20-30's who liked socialising too. I basically had tons of time, money, opportunity and good health to spend socialising.

Now I'm 40, exhausted with 2 young kids, have let go of all hobbies and interests outside the home due to time and motivation, barely met any 'mum friends' on my mat leaves and have totally let myself go.

Stompythedinosaur · 25/12/2020 21:20

At uni.

maddening · 25/12/2020 21:21

After uni up to when I was 30

Seeline · 25/12/2020 21:21

Secondary school age - although not at school. I had a huge group of friends from my youth group, most of who I am still in touch with 30 years on. Never had real friends at school. Got on well with colleagues at work and would socialise, but not real friends.

Caesargeezer · 25/12/2020 21:25

University

rockinaftermidnite · 25/12/2020 21:27

In my teens while at school, definitely. And then when my DC started at daycare.

HiGunny · 25/12/2020 21:28

I had a huge group of friends in secondary school. But I lost touch with most of them when I went to college (I moved away, most of them stayed local). I had good friends in college but I'm only in touch with a couple of them and we've been meeting up less and less as the years go by. I've made lots of acquaintances throughout my adult life but no real friends which is kind of sad really.

Scarby9 · 25/12/2020 21:30

Secondary school and university.
I had one BEST friend through primary, then a good group at secondary and another at university. I also made my closest group of friends to this day when I started work.
I have hardly made any new friends since I was 25!

quarentini · 25/12/2020 21:32

Honestly... this year!
People that started out as acquaintances have become such good friends.

rookiemere · 25/12/2020 21:33

I have a couple of really good friends from Uni and some Mum friends from my DS year.
I moved from NI and never went back but when I went to a school reunion, I feel had I stayed there I probably would have kept some friends from school.

blowinahoolie · 25/12/2020 21:36

University years. Lost touch with all since having a family, but no time really for socialising at stage of life. 4 DC. Youngest only 3.

TabbyStar · 25/12/2020 21:36

All phases of my life except this one really (pre-covid), through my own education, work, neighbours, running, and DD. I need some more friends, but my DD is a teen and my school mums groups have fallen apart since the kids don't hang out together, I work mostly alone, and I care for my DM so it's difficult to make any regular commitments to hobbies. I also feel as though I've forgotten how to make friends a bit, I'd like a group rather than the pressure of keeping up one-on-one relationships.

MrsHugsxx · 25/12/2020 21:38

I've never really had many friends. I was never " alone" and always had people to hang round with but was always a bit on the outside looking in. Aged 16 I had no friends at all after leaving school. Then started college and made a few friends but they started talking about me behind my back and excluding me. When I worked full time aged 18-26, I made friends but the type that you party with, not get close to and after I left I lost touch with them. I have been a sahm for the past 7 years and I don't really have friends, well I have a couple but we aren't in touch often and I don't have the time or the opportunities to meet new people to make friends with.

Vitaminsss · 25/12/2020 21:41

For me it was after leaving school in 2013 and also going to university in 2015. I moved to London for uni and also had a full time job, so lots of avenues to meet people.

My school was really cliquey and insular. I had lots of friends at school but many of them were fickle and insincere? I was one of those girls that had male attention, but in turn that meant some of the girls in my year never wanted to be genuine friends with me. They just wanted me to go out with them/to post pics with/to comment on their social media etc to gain clout so I felt a bit used

I met hundreds of people after leaving school and massively widened my social circle, I met most of the people I consider my closest now, at that time. It was refreshing to meet people that didn’t hold the image of 16 year old me in their head! It was like that barrier was no longer present and I saw myself in a different light

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 25/12/2020 21:41

Slowly and steadily. I'm not one of those people who had a great crowd of school friends who became friends for life

But slowly through life, I've picked up an odd person here and there who have become genuine lifelong friends - two uni friends, a couple of former colleagues from my job for 5 years after uni, a couple from the job the last 10 years, the wife of DHs old school friend, a neighbour, a school gate mum friend.

Sportsnight · 25/12/2020 21:43

16-24. A-levels through to my first years at work. I’m still friends with a lot of the same people although I see them a lot less. I’ve really struggled to make new friends over 35. I didn’t really do the mum clubs and school gate interaction freaks me out so have kind of missed that stage. Maybe my next lot will be in a retirement community 😁