AIBU to find family zoom chats in Christmas Day stressful

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Children 18m & 3.5 both siblings are having quiet Christmasses with just their respective spouses, and I'm trying to zoom whilst having thr kids around, and my parents, and open presents and not get behind on Christmas lunch.

Because we couldn't possibly zoom after our Christmas dinner as they'd be coming (and couldn't possibly cook Christmas dinner for 2 at the same time) or after, as they'd be too full.

When they are round for real at least they can pop in the kitchen with you, and your aren't all in a screen.

It was good to see them but my goodness it was hard work, and much more so for us than them.

Eww so many typos.

I had to do one with the family after dinner with two hyper kids. It was hell.

You are not being unreasonable

I refused to do any zoom calls. Used the good old fashioned landline! Much less stressful!

Absolutely refused to do any zoom calls today. DS1 turns in to an absolute terror as soon as he sees someone on a video call, it's awful.

My parents suggested doing a zoom games night....lovely idea but after being stuck inside for a week because of isolation and being in tier 4 as well - I loved the silence that struck the house once the DC were in bed. DH and I crawled on to the sofa and opened our own presents.

I missed by group Zoom today due to terrible signal. I wasn't that bothered . I'm more a one-to-one video chatter anyway. Family member said the Zoom call was chaos!

Not gonna lie, I refused to answer the video call earlier, I knew it would be insane, multiple family members and the one making the call would try to ensure everyone said hello/thanks for the gifts etc. I declined it. 😳

Glad it's not just me. Ours went on for an hour. I think boxing day would be a better day for it, but obviously parents round today not tomorrow.

Oh God you are definitely not alone! Ours was the most stressful hour of an otherwise absolutely lovely day!

YANBU at all. It's just the two of us at home today but my parents are divorced so we ended up on 3 sodding Zoom calls. Saw one set of parents & grandparents last night to drop presents off in the garden but still had to do a call with them and all my siblings. PILs had my SIL, BIL and grandchildren round and kept trying to call while we were eating our dinner so that we could watch the kids open their presents. My DH is too soft and we ended up putting our dinner in the sodding oven to keep warm! The Yorkshires went soggy.
And then my other parent and about 10 members of family were on another call as we were about to open our presents this evening. I love them all dearly and really miss them but I lasted all of 10 minutes before I made excuses and ducked out. By all accounts it was chaos so I'm glad I've decided to call them all over the weekend separately.
I'm sure family Christmases in person have never been this chaotic...!

My BIL suggested a family zoom call so the cousins could see each other opening presents. Glad DH said No. It would have been awful on many many levels, kids getting up at different times, envy over pile sizes, envy over actual gifts. It would have been a nightmare.

PIL Zoomed assuming kids would have opened everything, my kids aren't particularly early bedders therefore not early getting up. So they were still opening stuff and I just find it intrusive to have people on the screen or phone while we are in complete carnage and all still in pjs.

Hate it. I think next year we take charge and say we'll zoom when ready.

We did 3 today with 2yo DS and it was stressful. As we have the only grandchild on both sides he was in demand.

I was hoping to condense it down to 2 as PIL were going to BIL’s house for lunch and they both requested a call. But BIL preferred separate calls as he was going to be cooking in the morning and they had games planned for after lunch. I was a bit as we had to do exactly the same —except with a toddler, nap time and we couldn’t get drunk—.

We did 2 Zoom calls but in the middle of the second he got upset and refused to open any more presents (understandably). After a snack and a play we did the last one and he started rubbing his eyes so we called it a day on the calls and he had a nap.

We had a wonderful day but could have done with less faffing around with tech and chasing DS with my phone trying to keep him in shot!

We’re in Aus and parents in U.K. so they got a call in the morning/our evening. My eldest (10) hates zoom “it’s so cringe and awkward, just staring at their face”, but basically the two of them grabbed the phone and did a whirlwind tour of all their presents, engaged them in a proxy nerf war and then ran off, so it was quite good actually.

I totally agree. And I've got to suffer a family quiz tomorrow. Dreading it.

try one that engages 25 poeple at the same time. (Well we didn,t but we engaged enopugh people for enough time/) Do you go for the organised game. Or the general chit chat?

I hate them, thank god so do my parents and sister. PIL love them, so it’s a regular weekly thing between us, them, and all DH siblings and their partners. I said if it was happening today, it wouldn’t involve any present opening and would be after we’d eaten. I don’t make DC perform to camera, so they’re either there or they’re not. I dip in and out, as it’s never a convenient time, unless the baby is asleep across me. I find it incredibly intrusive, but they like to see DC, and I get that it’s hard for them not having seen them for nearly a year.

YANBU. We did one today and it made the dinner late because someone joined very late (had a good excuse, but we were still hungry!). Would have been a better idea to do it early evening.

I got out of mine 😁

The only good thing about my family being spread out around the world is that we almost never do christmas all together and if anyone suggested a family-wide Zoom call they'd be met with a combination of blank stares and hysterical laughter. We did quick video calls with everyone at various times over the last two days. No one wanted to talk for hours * due to cooking/present opening/ eating/ drunkeness so it worked out well with obligatory christmas greetings and no pressure.

*Except for DD who DID want to take her grandmother through each and every one of her presents. With full demonstrations and discussions. Luckily MIL is quite happy to do that and the two of them had their own separate FaceTime call for 30 minutes while the DH went to the park with DS and I got on with lunch!!

We did one last night. Kids (ours!) pulling faces at the camera etc, waste of time.

Family quiz 😱

God I avoid phonecalls not to mind say zoom get togethers. I don't have the mental energy for them at the moment.

My MIL took a zoom family call at the dinner table, queue loads of shouting “can you hear me?, “Helloooo” “CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Ugh.

We had a brilliant zoom call but it was three households of 2-3 people in each household. Lovely 30 min chat then 40min playing online pictionary. All done at 6pm after we had all had lunch. It was the first Christmas in 56 years that I have not spent with my older sister and the first in 25 years not spent with my niece and nephew( younger sisters children) so it was lovely to see them, even if only virtually. We only have DS who is 16 though so no young children to wrangle

SpaceOp how lovely for your DD and MIL to both enjoy the chat over Zoom that much 😂 That’s really sweet!

We did FaceTime over lunch. Was fairly pointless, lovely to see them but couldn’t really hear but at least it’a only this year. Won’t be doing it again (I hope!)

Zoom is both a blessing (for 1:1) and a curse (anything more than 1 person!)