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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To call this behaviour threatening?

31 replies

Isitgiroday · 25/12/2020 19:55

I had a conversation with a new director at work which turned very sour. I'd accidentally copied in people I shouldn't have to an email and had apologized to him in this conversation. This clearly wasn't enough for him and he proceeded to try and tear me a new one. I wasn't comfortable with the way I was being spoken to so tried to leave the room (with just us two in it). I managed to open the door a couple of I inches and he slammed it shut and held it shut and told me he wasn't finished. I told him to let me out of the room, which he did but I was so shocked and shaken. AIBU to call this threatening behaviour?

OP posts:
Isitgiroday · 26/12/2020 11:53

@HollowTalk I am concerned about that for sure!
No impact on other people but it concerned the new director and some pervious behaviour by him which everyone who was accidentally copied in knew about anyway. Tricky.

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billy1966 · 26/12/2020 12:58

OP,
Please go to the police.
They are hoping this will go away.
You have given them enough time to take action.
He is a danger to all employees if he cannot contain his anger AND has falsely imprisoned you by locking a door in the office and preventing you from leaving.

This is really serious.
How terrifying for you in that moment.

It is not your responsibility to say you knew it would all be fine.
You did NOT know this and were very scared and shocked.

Let them try and manage you out when the matter is in the hands of the police.

HR are a disgrace.
They should be all over this.

Go to the police.
It is up to you if you wish to let them know that you have decided to hand the matter over to the police.
Do you know a good solicitor?

Isitgiroday · 27/12/2020 09:14

I spoke to the police and they have said that based on the info I'd given, I wouldn't be able to make a complaint against him. I should have asked why but it's probably to do with there being witnesses and needing corroboration? They suggested going down the formal complaint channels at work and contacting a solicitor if I wasn't happy with the outcome. Fair enough, glad I spoke to them and know where I stand.
Absolutely dreading going back to work in the NY. Least I still have a job I suppose! Confused

OP posts:
billy1966 · 27/12/2020 12:31

OP,
I'm really surprised.
Well done for contacting them.
I think it would be worth asking why.not.
If you ask to speak to the Duty Sergeant you will get the best information.

This is really shocking.
Flowers

LaBellina · 27/12/2020 12:36

Wow. No YANBU at all.
I think I would have told him he had 2 seconds to get his hand away from the door or I'd be starting to scream bloody murder. What kind of a man thinks it's ok to do this to any employee, leave alone a woman? I'd be raising hell over this.
What a fucking psychopath. I hope he doesn't have a wife at home.

Isitgiroday · 27/12/2020 14:21

That's exactly what a friend said to me. He comes from another country which, to my mind anyway, has quite a macho culture so perhaps this type of behaviour is not so out of the ordinary where he is from! Interestingly, there is no mention of his previous job on our company bio and some Google/FB snooping tells me he wasn't in it very long - it would be interesting to find out why!

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