To feel upset to not get 1 Christmas gift.

[superfly25]

Just that really.

Do you have family around you?

That sucks

Buy yourself something nice in the sale?

Siblings don't bother with me and parents buy for Grandchildren. I'm childless.

Yeah always buy yourself something if you aren't expecting any from others!

We’re you with anyone today? I didn’t get any gifts either although I’ve spent the day alone so wasn’t unexpected.

Def buy for yourself. Parents should get you something though imho

I got very little - almost nothing in fact - I spent about £700 all in including postage costs as most of my family live abroad. I wanted to spoil everyone as it's been a crap year all round.

If my gifts cost more than £30 I'd be astounded. And that's in total, from everyone. I literally got a tin of lip balm, a bottle of liqueur, a large coaster (for pots) two tubes of hand cream and a box of after eights. Which i don't even like.

I am spending Christmas alone this year for the first year which they all know.
I am on minimum wage so can't really afford that on presents. Next year it'll be £25 max each, lesson learned.

NEVER again.

Here's some cross-referencing for you, OP:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4115367-childless-aunty?msgid=102924745

Oh and a very small bar of soap. That made all the difference!!!

I buy for myself (single, and adults only buy for kids in the family). I find I always get something I truly want that way 🙂 Treat yourself!

Sympathies if this is the first time you had no gifts.
If it’s not, then you should buy yourself something.
That’s what I used to do. Even got it gift wrapped. M

Have to treat yourself and set the bar there. Everything I buy myself on Amazon I tick it's a gift box and write myself something silly. Even if it's June. Learning to look after ourselves is hard and took me years and years but when you get beyond needing it it's lusher. God luck getting finding your peace with this x

Sorry to hear this. Why do you need two threads though?

I always buy a gift for myself, something I really want
I even wrap it and then open it on Christmas morning
You should do that, same when it’s your birthday too

Yep agree with the buy yourself something.
Every year there is a ‘To Mummy, love from Mummy’ present carefully chosen and wrapped. Some years I forget what it is and it’s a genuine surprise!
It started when I split from Ex and wasn’t sure I’d get anything. 15 years later still going and will continue for ever 👍👍😂🎄🥂🎉

I knew it would be slim pickings for me (similar issues with people just buying for children) so really spoilt myself with beauty advent calendars, a larger item I wanted and some really nice Christmassy bits (we’re talking real wreaths, chocolate wreaths, festive candles and champagne). I’ve had a lovely day.

@Cailleach it sounds like your family is taking advantage so I wouldn’t do presents with them at all, going forwards. If you add up those £25s you would have spent, I bet you could buy yourself some lovely things and have a far nicer Christmas

I'm really sorry about that op, I totally sympathise. All my family got each other loads, I got them presents. I got absolutely nothing. I took the dog put for 2 hours too cry x

Who were you with today?

Did you buy your nieces/nephews presents?

That sucks, but I’ve learned from bitter experience (single parent) that the best thing is just to buy myself a couple of things I really want/love and to counter any thoughts of ‘yes, but I know what it is’ with ‘thank f*ck I don’t have to endure the disappointment of feeling that someone really doesn’t know me when I’d really hope they did by now’ or having to pretend I like it before plotting to return it ASAP. Some things just ‘aren’t’ so best to just head them off at the pass. I hope your Christmas has been ok xx

Maybe next year we should start a secret santa for people not likely to get any other presents (I got presents but id happily buy someone a box of chocs or something!)

Awe, that's not very fair at all @superfly25

Hoping next Christmas is better. Do you buy for your parents? Maybe suggest a secret Santa among siblings or extended family?

I think you should take some money and treat yourself - a new book, some special choccies and biscuits, maybe a new top and a nice Christmas magazine. You deserve it!

It's easy to attach meaning to things like this OP, when it doesn't mean there is any there. We're kinder to ourselves when we remind ourselves that it isn't a reflection on who we are as people or focus on what we think it must say about us.

I'm estranged from family and DP and I don't do xmas gifts really. I don't get any from anyone else and didn't unwrap anything today. I don't feel upset about it as I don't think it's fair to attach meaning to it that ultimately leaves me lacking ad a person- I like who I am and don't want to feel badly about myself. Besides i always have a lot of fun treating myself in the run up to xmas and in the sales. At least you get things you actually want.

Someone sending over a bunch of generic gifts isn't really any 'better'. You just end up feeling nobody cares about you much or pays attention. We should get out of the habit of using everything as a popularity contest or a stick to beat ourselves with. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself instead.

That must be disappointing. If you can, buy yourself something that you really want.

Next year if you still really want to send others presents then make it something small & cheap to post. Or just send them a card written with I gathered from last year we are no longer exchanging gifts. Merry Christmas, have a lovely time. With your savings from scaling back, treat yourself in the black Friday sales then wrap those treats in Christmas paper and put away for Christmas. And in October order yourself a beautiful bouquet to be delivered just before Christmas. To Me love from Santa.

@TheGoogleMum

Maybe next year we should start a secret santa for people not likely to get any other presents (I got presents but id happily buy someone a box of chocs or something!)

Ha! I remember the couple of years when I joined in the MNHQ Secret Santa thingummy. (Is it still going? Probably not.)

Utter carnage. Months of people complaining about either unsatisfactory gifts or insufficient gratitude. Never again!

But it is rather awful to see so many people here suffering the same variety of familial neglect ...