To be finding this Christmas the most peaceful, restful and enjoyable Christmas in about 20 years?

[ScreamingBeans]

First off, commiserations to all those who are feeling unhappy and miserable because of not being able to see family they want to see. I'm really sorry if this Christmas is awful for you.

But for me, today is the best Christmas I've had for a long time. For the first time in years, I didn't spend the whole of Christmas Eve preparing vegetables and the house, I've watched the Queen's speech, I've sat down, I've put make up on (ready for the family video call), I got dressed before starting the cooking, I've enjoyed opening the presents with my kids and I've had time to talk to relatives on the phone while arranging the video call later on. I've even read a chapter of my book. I don't feel tired, bad tempered, stressed, put upon or angry.

And no I'm not cooking turkey either, we are having a roast with all the trimmings, but it's meat we actively like.

It's made me realise the sheer grind that Christmas normally means for me and to make me determined that next year, I'm not going back to that frazzled stressed, exhausting way of doing things.

Happy Christmas everyone.

Agree! No having to pretend to be happy families. Brilliant!

Agreed. It's been chilled and lovely 😁

Only 10 votes so far but 100% agreement (YANBU). I agree. 👍

Boo! A dissenter has arrived.

Agree - love having no pressure. And no politics. I’ve had a really nice day to be honest. I’ve pretended it’s tough for the family who haven’t on video calls, but I’ve made the food I like and gone at my own pace.

Do feel sad for those who are lonely though.

Also think that the mental (and physical!) load of Christmas often falls on one person in the family... and it’s usually the woman!

YANBU but I’ve never understood why people tie themselves in knots doing things they don’t want to do.

Absolutely agree.
We usually have a huge family Christmas and it’s lovely but people always end up sniping, we’re all grumpy, there’s no down time.
This year is the first at home and I was dreading it but it’s been perfect 😍 so chilled, I cooked, the way I actually like things, my son told me it’s been the best day ever. ♥️

Yes! No rushing about, no forced merriment, lovely.

We’ve always had xmas like this. Simple and lovely. Had to change when our elderly parents got needy though. Now I feel guilty if we don’t see one or other of them.

Yes! It’s just the 3 of us and it’s been wonderful. No pressure of visiting relatives, neither of us live in our home country, so not expectations.

Exactly... I've been mumbling to myself, "That's better", meaning during cooking I haven't been stressed at all trying to get it all ready before the door starts knocking, hoping I get in the shower in time, then sitting down to eat about 16:30 after having me face in food for about 4 hours, not feelinghungry at all, I normally eat about 19.30. Obviously there is a lot of sadness in the world right now but regarding this day at home for me has been how I intend to carry on. Next year when the grand kids come round might even order Indian the day before so I can sit on the floor all day and play :)

We do this every year, just chilled out call the midwife later. I’m in new jimmies n0t Christmas ones.

It has been a bit difficult for us as we’ve hosted my in laws. Mil has severe dementia and fil struggles with her.

But we don’t have to rush out this evening. Ds finds Christmas overwhelming (autism) and can take himself off in his own home for time out.

Yanbu. Sorry mother, but you're right. This has been stress free amd lovely. We didn't have a ridiculous amount of food that was stressful to prepare.

For me too it's been lovely. Kids quietly occupied. Roast chicken for dinner with a few extras and pudding. Glass of wine and a walk just me and dh, couldn't ask for more!

Sympathies with those not happy but I'm happy, my extended family are all fine in their homes, mum looked after. Not going back to work (NHS) for a few days - bliss!

Mixed feelings! I really miss my parents and uncle and mil but I am enjoying the lack of performance anxiety around cooking

I am definitely going to chill out in future about things like ‘no you can’t possibly pull your crackers now because we always have them between main course and pudding.’ Just possibly I have been a bit too uptight...

I've quite enjoyed it, no pressure to serve things you don't want or like or not being able to relax, all the extra clearing up and serving dishes. The stresses of making sure you have everything

I will definitely be sticking with local guests not arriving before 11.30 and leaving by 4. They've just gone, everything is tidy and I am sitting down with a cuppa. The first family Zoom was quite nice too. Second one later with my side.

OP, I miss my mum not being with me today although we have spoken at length, but I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.

I also was able to visit my local high street and walk up it when all but one shop is shut, at one point be in the local park as the only person, and not drive at all.

It’s been lovely, but then we never have a crowd anyway. DCs cooked and served up a perfect dinner - dh and I did the dishes. They’re happy, we’re happy.
Tons of food left over so we’re sorted for next few days as we go into lockdown tonight. Zoomed and we-chatted siblings. Can relax now and pore over my goodies!!

Yes same here.

Looking on this Christmas as a gift tbh. We always end up hosting, which is lovely in a way but bloody stressful in others, stacks of prep, not enough time, always go to bed and breathe a sigh of relief. Always feel relatives are watching DC like hawks and quietly judging their table manners / sugar consumption / social conversation/ screen time levels and finding them all wanting. But we could never not host gatherings as we’d feel too guilty.

This year has offered us a guilt free get out clause.

Like others, feel so sad for so many others right now but for us, as an individual family, we’ve had a more relaxed, calm and happy Christmas Day than we’ve had for years.

I normally go out for dinner with friends and then the in laws (who I love) but it's been nice this year to get up whenever, eat whenever and generally laze about in leisurewear. I'm just putting tatas in the oven then I'll nap for 20 mins. Heaven

We've had a lovely relaxed day. Went to see Mum and Dad, but to keep everyone safe we decided to flip it upside down this year, so no Christmas dinner for us. We sat outside in mum and dads garden, with a roaring fire, toasting s'mores and eating hot pork roles. Mum had decorated the fences with tinsel and Dad had built a massive wooden Christmas tree with baubles. We stayed for about 3 hours until it started getting too cold. Now finishing the day with TV, cheese and biscuits. Not sure why we don't do this every year! It may become a new tradition!

this is a normal christmas for me, i stopped having family christmas get togethers when my son was about 3 (now 34), family had a secret santa and present exchange with a buffet the week before, i always felt sorry for the people hosting the christmas day lunch as they always seemed so stressed, i get pictures of my grandsons opening gifts on facebook, then had a facetime call, my heart goes out to people that are alone and wanted to spend time with family or friends this year, i am lucky that i am happy to be on my own, have sat in my pjs all day and have some chicken in the oven for later xx

YANBU but I’ve never understood why people tie themselves in knots doing things they don’t want to do.

It’s the one day of the year our entire family gets together as we are all in different places. We do it because my parents like having us all in one place at one time. I don’t enjoy it much because I don’t really like my brother and his partner, but after all she has done for me, I figure I owe it to my mum to put up with it.

There’s a time and a place for deciding you want to be selfish, one day a year not to be isn’t a hardship.