To want a quiet Christmas every year.

[Frosty2894]

I totally understand this year sucks for those who want to spend time with family and cannot.

For years we wanted a Christmas Day at home but felt obliged to visit family who live nearby but was quite time consuming visiting 3 families, cooking dinner (none of us have room to have dinner for everyone so we do our own) and getting DS off to his dad . So much so that I would come home exhausted and never had time to watch tv or chill out.

This morning has been fab. I’ve woken up and I haven’t had to worry about rushing the kids out the door. They’ve had time to look at their gifts! We’ve gone at our pace. I’ve watched some tv whilst cooking dinner. The house is a tip and I don’t care.

Aibu to want to do this every year and just see the family around Christmas instead? Perhaps on Christmas Eve? Boxing Day?

I’ve had a difficult relationship with Christmas for years. But I’ve really enjoyed today’s so far compared to other years I’m rushing and feeling edgy all day. Don’t have the best relationship with family either. I’m kind of the black sheep.

YANBU, small, relaxed Christmas Day all the way, wider family/friends throughout Dec and on Christmas Eve/Boxing Day.

Totally with you. 100%. I usually dread Christmas and look forward to it being over and done with. We usually visit my in laws - that's a trek to the other side of the country, boredom, claustrophobia, stress, and an experience that is just not fun. I very much relate to your 'black sheep' feelings as well.

This year it's just me and DP. Eating what we want, no trekking anywhere, doing what we want. I haven't been dreading the build up, and am having a lovely day so far! This is how I want Christmas to be from now on

Other than if it means older or disabled people being on their own, I think YANBU.

We do this every year and it’s brilliant. We usually see family around the country through December and the in laws Boxing Day but we haven’t been able to do that this year. It’s lovely just being at home.

@nosswith absolutely. Neither of our parents are elderly or lonely. Both live with a house full of people. There is my Grandma (who I visited social distanced the other day - tier 1) but she is in a bubble with my uncles who also live on their own with no spouses or children! So it works quite well!

YANBU. I love a quiet Christmas done my way. This year we're still having to juggle the wants of children and the older generation. The DC hate christmas dinner. The grandparents tell me it's not christmas without turkey and all the trimmings and don't lift a finger, hold out their glasses when empty etc. It drives me mad. I'm shattered and they're more than capable of helping.

I tried to call it off this year but the older generation were up in arms 🙄🤦. I've told them I'm not doing a big tea after such a huge meal. "But christmas isn't christmas without the trifle, cake, cheese etc at tea time"! Fgs, give me strength.

When we're able we're going away for Christmas on our own.

'I tried to call it off this year but the older generation were up in arms 🙄'

Sod that for a laugh. You are not a hotel, or a slave. They sound like cheeky, lazy sods. You dont go to someone's house and start demanding what they must cook and serve

Omg I am totally with you OP! This Christmas has been awesome. No trailing around our respective families, having to eat my MILs sprouts which are so overcooked they turn to mush in my mouth🤢, someone having to be the designated driver etc. I'm loving every minute of it!

It's strange.
I thought I'd hate it as we're isolating as I've got the virus but actually it's nice. I'm over a week through it now so have been downstairs and everyone is just chilling whilst dinner cooks now.
I've snuck upstairs for a shower and a lie down for half an hour.
Zooming with family after the Queen then more chilling.
It could be the way forward minus the bloody virus

YANBU I've had the most relaxed chorus morning I can remember. Normally would be on my feet all morning cooking then driving to all and sundry but today all I've done is eaten chocolate and watched films with DD and DH while DD plays with her new toys. No meltdowns no arguments just easygoing happy day!

I'm with you OP. We stopped dashing about on Christmas Day and Boxing Day trying to please everyone else years ago and have much happier Christmases as a result.

I'm normal times we do still see family over the festive period but the big day and Boxing Day are just for being at home and having relaxed times together.

YANBU. It's been lovely here. We normally spend Christmas day with my parents and siblings in their tiny cramped house being ploughed with presents we don't want (they buy A LOT) and basically spending all day there and then come home feeling exhausted and sad.

This year has been the calmed and loveliest Christmas in years. I do feel it's a bit quiet but we had no rushing around, could eat what we want when we want and now we are off for a quiet walk just the two of us.

Wish we could this every year without guilt!

We don't celebrate Christmas but on the 25th I'm normally a bit sad because everyone else has family traditions, extended families to see etc. This year has been great - DH, DD and I drove into central London to look at the lights and displays on (deserted) Regents Street, found what must be the one open Starbucks in the city, had a drink and then drove back home.

Take the lesson learnt from this year and have a quiet one next year too.

See family before or after Xmas and let them know early so expectations are managed.