Just want to cry.... posting for traffic

[CanICelebrate]

My husband is being really cold and I don’t know why. We argued earlier but we don’t argue often and I thought we’d made up. I feel he has deliberately withdrawn all warmth towards me but is doing it in a way that it looks like I’m the one in the mood - he’s not normally a gaslighter but he is doing it tonight.

I’ve come in from church really jolly and he’s treating me like a stranger and denying he’s doing it. I’m doubting myself.

He’s not normally like this but it’s made me feel so desperately lonely this evening. I’ve only just got over a bad period of anxiety and I feel really anxious this evening and the dc will have me up in a few hours I’m sure.

I just want someone to talk to on here as I’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship before and although dh isn’t usually like this, this evening has brought it all back and I’m really shaky.

I’m sleeping downstairs but not sure I’ll sleep :-(

Good for you 😊. I hope you have a lovely day x

MY teen daughter has a "great" way of dealing with things if someone argues with her and she disagrees. So if you point out he's sulking and he tries to gaslight or make out it's you, not him, reply with "yeah, Whatever" and walk away. You don't give ground then but you make your point & leave it hanging in the air.

OP have you explained to your DP how this makes you feel? Do they understand how you link his present behaviour with your past experiences?
I understand how it makes you feel - previous experience of gaslighting and manipulation, and current DP has tried the sulk punishment before, it triggered so much fear and sadness in me I was shaken by it.
Once the sulk had passed I explained to him how it affected me and he acknowledged it, and I try now to lead by example as well - if we have a disagreement, resolve and move on, or if I need time to reset my emotions I'll spend some time alone without punishing him.
It's strange how some things bring it all back isn't it, a look, a tone of voice, knowing they're angry or stressed and the worry that somehow it will end up being your fault.
I have to remind myself that DP is not my ex frequently as it affects my behaviour towards him.