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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What age did you have your first taste of Alcohol?

140 replies

NotTodaySherry · 24/12/2020 22:54

I was about 5! My mum let us have babycham on Christmas Eve and very weak "port and lemon" on Christmas Day as kids. I feel now that although this was very much of the era, it was wrong and it is possibly the reason all 4 of my siblings and I have been huge drinkers as adults.

AIBU to refuse to give my DD (15) any alcohol at Christmas. I managed to discourage my parents from trying to give her any all these years but now she is asking me herself to drink the little gin & tonic cans I bought for any visiting friends/family.

We had a bit of a heated discussion since her friends are apparently allowed to have these cans at home but ultimately, she accepted my reasoning - it made me wonder if I am doing the right thing? WHat are other parents doing?

I have friends who say they let their teenagers drink in their own home rather than out on the streets with strangers. I'd rather she waits as long as possible but I'm not a fool, I know it happens.

What age did you first drink? Are you a big drinker now? AIBU?

OP posts:
Serin · 24/12/2020 23:54

I was always allowed sips of alcohol at home and had a big gulp of communion wine (from age 7) every Sunday. As an adult I hardly drink st all.
None of my DC drink much (they are more into yoga and matcha tea) but I did once come home from work to find 11yr old DS, feet up, watching the simpsons and downing a big can of Stella.

Yohoheaveho · 24/12/2020 23:55

Wine at 13 or 14, now I'm teetotal and have been for most of my adult life

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 25/12/2020 00:04

I think I was about 8, I remember my dad letting me try his beer. I was always allowed a little bottle of babycham, a martini and lemonade or a couple of snowballs at christmas from being very young. My mum would buy me alcohol to take to partys at 13 (most of my friends were a few years older).

In my teens (partying and clubbing days) I probably drank quite a bit but haven't really drank much since my early twenties when I had my youngest (36 now).

Despite my dad being an alcoholic I think I have a very healthy relationship with alcohol, if I go on a night out (which is very rare, less than once a year) I will get pissed as its a night out and I'm a happy drunk but generally speaking I drink very little, a baileys coffee once a week or one glass of something if I go for a meal at a family members house and I am offered. Tonight as its Christmas I had two glasses with a takeaway and I'll probably have a couple of glasses of wine with my Mum after work tomorrow then I'll probably not have anything until New Year.

My youngest DS is 12 and I let him have a little bit of something on special occasions and have done for the last few years. I'd rather they learn moderation at home. I could be very misguided but I believe if its not taboo they stand less chance of going overboard the first time they get the opportunity.

YouBoughtMeAWall · 25/12/2020 00:08

I was a small child. As was my sister. I didn’t really like alcohol as a child so didn’t bother when a sip was offered (sister loved it!) I went a bit silly on it as a teen and Dsis went the other way and doesn’t touch the stuff. Hasnt drank since before she was legally allowed to drink. No extreme reasons- she didn’t get into bad habits or anything- She just doesn’t like it. I very rarely drink now.

Titsywoo · 25/12/2020 00:11

I think I was 11 and nicked some at a party my parents were having but only really as my best friend suggested it. Dd is 16 and this is the first year I'm ok for her to have a glass of something but she isn't interested so that's fine. Ds is 13 and seems more likely to want to try but bar a sip I'll tell him to wait until he is older. I don't like encouraging young teens to drink. Alcohol isn't a necessity in life and I think drinking in my teens did me a fair amount of harm.

iwasacceptableinthe80s · 25/12/2020 00:12

At 5 on holiday took a sip of Sherry. Parents were horrified - I didn't like the taste. First got drunk at 16 at a posh wedding, free flowing champagne. Never really drank much otherwise. I can't remember the last time I was drunk, I have the odd glass of wine with a meal, and Buck's Fizz on Christmas morning. My daughter was probably 14 when she had her first drink. Now in her 20s and drinks very moderately. I like to be able to drive at any given moment (disabled husband), so rarely have more than one drink. Not a deliberate decision not to drink much, it's just how it's happened.

iwasacceptableinthe80s · 25/12/2020 00:13

Also, my parents were never very big drinkers. I never saw them anything other than mildly tipsy, and that was very rare.

mrsmarylebone · 25/12/2020 00:14

I was 5.

A little shocked at the number of people encouraging spirits/alcopops etc... the European approach tends to work because they focus on alcohol that tastes like alcohol eg wine and beer so that children learn to pace themselves.

Any 14yo can drink lots of bacardi breezers before they realise they've had too much but most would be sick before they finished a bottle of wine so they'd be far less likely to end up in hospital.

From 5/6 I think the thing to do is allow a heavily watered down glass of wine at occasions like sunday lunch/christmas day so it's associated with food and socialising.

amy85 · 25/12/2020 00:24

I remember being allowed a little bottle of shandy when I was about 7/8 when the neighbours had brought back duty free from France...I also remember being allowed bucks fizz , think it was Nye, at around 6

My mum would kill me if I did the same with my kids now tho 😂

CharityEscapeGoat · 25/12/2020 00:27

About 3 or 4. I remember being allowed to drink cider at teatime on holiday in the caravan, not a small glass, & it wasn't watered down with lemonade or anything, I remember seeing my father pour it. He always encouraged me to have "Irish coffee" every Sunday morning from about 11 years old, & both my sister & I grew up thinking we hated wine - nope, just the cheap rubbish he used to buy. 25 years later & it transpired he'd been an alcoholic since my DSis & I were toddlers. Both of us have a very healthy relationship with alcohol now.

AccidentallyOnSanta · 25/12/2020 00:37

Mum insists I was quite little and I always asked for it. I don't remember any of that but I do know i had some watered down home made wine and I could always have it if I wanted to.

Didn't get drunk until 16/17 and that's because I had a lot of trauma to deal with and it wasn't at home anyways.

I rarely drink now.

DD has asked to try various things over the years. I always let her have a sip, she hates the taste of all of it so has no interest. I'm sure that will change with time.

Regularsizedrudy · 25/12/2020 00:44

Probably about 8 I was allowed sips from my parents. I think I first got drunk at 13ish? Was allowed beers and alcopops from about 15. Not a big drinker now.

Fuzzywuzzyface · 25/12/2020 01:05

DS almost 14 wanted fruity cider back in the summer. We've let him have sips of wine, lager and gin and tonic..he hasnt liked any of it.. fruity cider got left as he didn't like it.

Fingers crossed he has no desire to try increasing quantities of alcohol and I think we have taken a healthy approach to teenage drinking.

BiBabbles · 25/12/2020 02:59

I find it really weird when people put the two options as drinking at home or going out to drink with strangers. It seems an odd need to justify a choice they're either uncomfortable with or fear being judged for. I don't think you'd be U either way.

I don't have a concern of my children going to go drink with strangers (my oldest has been bigger than me for years, it's not like I could stop him if he wanted to do so). We've just had discussions over the years about harm reduction with drugs, about considering the possible benefits with the risks, and that if they want to try alcohol, we'd prefer to take them through the steps at home and see how they react to it first. We discuss that there is varying quality research on the topic, but for now the understanding is the risk of addiction has hereditary components and that early exposure and community encouragement also increases the risk and as they have addicts on pretty much every side of their family, they may need to be more cautious and considered on this than some other people they know.

My oldest is 16 and had his first taste a few months back (and I've no reason to think he's lying). He asked and as agreed in our previous discussions on alcohol and harm reduction, his father showed him how to mix a drink (lime vodka and cola) and they each had a cup with about a unit in it while we all watched a movie together and ate. He didn't finish half of it and hasn't asked for any since.

For me, I have no idea when I had my first taste. I know my brother had a drink spiked when he was about 7 (and I do mean spiked as in given a drink he thought was juice, but was actually spiked with wine cooler for the adult's amusement. He ended up with a sick stomach and really out of it, which she thought was hilarious). I first noticed a spiked drink when I was a bit older than that, I wouldn't drink anything that had that smell (or that someone was very eager for me to drink), but I might have missed something.

I started to drink at 30 and can count on my fingers how often I've chosen to drink alcohol. My spouse started to drink at about 15 and I've never seen him drunk, he drinks maybe once a year at work events if that, but he also had little encouragement to drink growing up compared to me (it was more a we're bored thing than communally encouraged) and he put in early a process to keep himself from drinking too much. There are too many factors to put an age on it.

Don't know why people try and stop their teens from drinking. They're going to do it anyway!

Plenty of teenagers don't drink alcohol. Maybe because I was one of them and had to deal the messy consequences of that attitude with others, so I do restrict access in my home and wouldn't supply for outside of my home. I don't want other teenagers to put in the position I was in, caring for others who had been supplied drink by parents who made excuses that it was better they drank at a friends house (that they didn't check an adult would be there for) than out and about (because of course they're going to drink so why consider not drinking an option).

I find it very lazy parenting to just go 'well, they're going to do it anyway' and not at least ensure access is restricted until basic harm reduction information is instilled. Having dealt with those whose pretty much only information on safety is drinking at a friends' house and not driving, it does not go well when someone gets really sick or starts to suffer other negative side effects. Alcohol is a recreational drug, there are potentially enjoyable benefits, but there are also risks just like with others.

I don't think I can entirely stop it, as I said my oldest is far too big for me to think I can stop him from much that he wants, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do anything to restrict access or try to discourage riskier behaviour. It's about harm reduction, not elimination which is impossible, and part of that can be restriction and sometimes it's the tools and information to figure things out - like being clear that some people enjoy drinking and some people don't, rather than continue this myth that it's something everyone does and enjoys. Teenagers have enough pressure these days of things 'everyone does' that are a lot of rubbish, this one needs binned.

Suzi888 · 25/12/2020 03:50

My dad was doing some DIY for my nan in her kitchen. I was 7 and drank some of my nan’s brandy, it had a picture off cherries on the bottle. Drank it until I was sick! Can’t touch it to this day.

rachelbloomfan · 25/12/2020 04:07

I think I was allowed to taste literally a sip of wine aged about 7 or maybe 9 as I was curious, I spat it out and declared it disgusting. Didn’t want to try again until I was about 15 and was allowed to have a glass of wine at Christmas or big family dinners. I was also allowed one to two units of alcohol in a cocktail type drink when with my friends at sleepovers but we were all ridiculously sensible geeky type teens and our parents knew they could trust us not to let things get out of hand. I rarely drink these days, probably one or two units a month, only when I’m in the mood for it and can afford a headache the next day as I feel rough after even one drink these days 😂 . My son is 13 and has zero interest in such things right now, it’s all about YouTube and computer games not alcohol or girls yet. But I will probably let him drink a glass of wine with a meal on special occasions or have a glass of something when friends come over when he is about 15/16. So I’d personally have let your daughter have one or two cans only with a meal but make it clear it’s restricted to that.

Hailtomyteeth · 25/12/2020 04:22

Babyhood. My family didn't fuss about alcohol. I'd have been about five when given my own small glass of sherry or advocaat (sp?) at Christmas. By thirteen, brandy was my drink, though I could try anything I wanted. I was never a drinker- I've been drunk twice in my life- and hardly ever touch alcohol today. I took a similar approach with my child and would recommend it. Alcohol - try it at home with family, it's no big deal.

YayGlitter · 25/12/2020 05:11

Very small. My dad always leaves a bit in the bottom of his beer can, apparently as a toddler I used to drink it. By 5 I was allowed a small glass of cider or beer with dinner if it was a special occasion, from 13 mum would buy me a bottle of wine or cider, I was allowed spirits from 15. I still drink now but not massively often and as an adult I've never got ridiculously drunk, like I've got pissed but never vomitting, falling over, making bad decisions pissed, I know my limit and when to stop. I did get vomit drunk when I was 17, with my brothers, they did not give me an easy time of it and then dad woke me up with kippers Envy

I've always been the sober ish responsible one of my friends, as have my 7 siblings, youngest brother is 18 next week, every friend he's had to look after when they've got stupidly wasted has been ones that have never tried alcohol at home.

garlictwist · 25/12/2020 05:37

I remember having sips of wine as a child but finding it revolting. First proper drinks aged about 15. Im 39 now and haven't drunk for about ten years as I'm just not that bothered.

Henrysmycat · 25/12/2020 05:41

YABU. I grew up in a Mediterranean country where alcohol is not revered/hated as much as here. Wine, and beer in the summer, is like water, in almost every meal. I had sips since I was 7? I never liked it, never created a myth around alcohol and never got paralytic or had an issue. And it’s the same situation for most of the population there.
I don’t think tasting alcohol young makes you an alcoholic.

Pinkyandthebrainz · 25/12/2020 07:12

I was given sherry and whisky and lemonade as a child (4ish) to make me sleep through (by grandparents). 15 is fine, I think you're being a bit uptight. If you make it something they crave by being so restrictive about it then you risk them going wild when they do finally have it.

1990shopefulftm · 25/12/2020 07:16

16, I m now 25 and haven't touched alcohol for a couple of years.

sashh · 25/12/2020 07:23

Somewhere in the first 6 months of my life - part of my Christening and basically a drop so I'm not sure it counts.

I think the 'safest' place to drink is at home with parents.

I also think wine (with or without water) as part of a meal psychologically makes you think wine goes with meals rather than something to male you drunk.

GuiEtVin · 25/12/2020 07:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Bluntness100 · 25/12/2020 07:29

Op, in many European countries, children are brought up to drink alcohol from an early age responsibly. So for example in Italy you’d have a tiny bit of wine with a lot of lemonade with your meal at say nine or ten. Parents set a good example, in terms of how to drink, it’s not to get drunk but something to enjoy responsibly in social settings or with meals. And as such, they habe a lot less issues with alcohol in these countries than the Uk does.

Whatever led to you and your siblings being heavy drinkers, it’s not tasting alcohol early. It’s about the attitude you developed. How you perceive booze and what it’s for, your social circle etc.

In addition as adults you habe personal responsibility for your choices.