Aibu and mean spirited?

[SnowmanatChristmas]

Please no major flaming, it is Christmas Eve after all. If I'm being a Scrooge then fine. I shall alter my ways.

My mum has a friend who is quite elderly, I've only met her very briefly once or twice. The friend has started sending gifts to my dc at Christmas. It is very kind of her but of course I have never ever asked or expected this, I have said she ought not to, she is my mums friend but she likes children and my mum does a lot for her.

I get the dc to write a thank you note and I send her a Christmas card, but my mum now expects me to buy the friend something in return of almost equal value.

I said to my mum I don't mind sending her friend a card and maybe a box of biscuits, but I don't want to be obliged now to have to buy her friend a gift each year.

My mum got a bit huffy and said that her friend probably won't be around next year anyway so I won't have to worry.

My mum has a friend who always sends my DC presents and i always send thank you cards but it hadn’t occurred to me to send anything to be honest. I’ve met her twice and while it’s very kind that she sends things for my DC it was her choice to do it.

I generally think I wouldnt but after a few years I might send a token gift - bottle of wine/gin and some nice biscuits or chocs but I wouldnt do more than that

I would be surprised if she was expecting presents in return.

Agree with @littlestepsdaily, a thank you note, card, biscuits as you suggested are more than adequate to show your appreciation.

I don’t think she’d expect a gift in return, more likely she’d like a visit from the dc ( in normal times)

She won't be expecting anything but she'd probably love a letter or picture from the children.

Perhaps look at it this way.I think your dm's friend likes getting the gifts for dcs, not expecting a gift in return. Possibly a bunch of flowers or a plant from the dcs for New Year would be lovely. I've got small tokens for my ndn's dcs, which are wrapped and I've made home made cookies etc. I'm currently painting little notes from the Elf helper to tell them there have been good reports from Elf Central based on the ISS. However one of the dc's older half siblings - early 20's - has had a warning from the elves to remember to feed the dog, I had her in with me thinking the family were out.

Both my dsis and I buy our cousin's gcs presents but they are in the region of £25 to £'30 and we check before buying. I think you do have to be careful before giving. If I was your dm's friend I would have bought a token but sent money for them so your dm was unaware of the value of the gift.

if she is sending gifts to my DC, especially gifts of value and gifts they enjoy, I would personally have no problem sending her something a bit more substantial than a card and some biscuits.