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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that in 2020 round Robin letters are especially pointless.

66 replies

Whalewithnosnail · 24/12/2020 20:27

I hate these letters even in normal years (always love the Janet and Roy threads). A pointless opportunity to gloat about things no one cares about. This year's have been particularly dry- "we couldn't holiday in Italy this year, but Mavis learned to knit' and "we have had to keep up with the grandchildren by zoom". Yeah we all have- we know.

This morning we received one from two people I previously thought relatively normal, except this letter was from their dog. It was two sides of A4 with an in depth discussion of what they had grown in the garden (378 potatos, 4 varieties of lettuce, heritage carrots etc etc), an entire paragraph about a squirrel visitor to the garden and, mostly bizarrely, a paragraph about each member of the family from the cat's perspective. For example, "my big brother got married this year, everyone had to wear a mask and I wonder if these are uncomfortable because I could see tears in their eyes".

WTF?!?! So AIBU (or a total scrooge) to think that in a global pandemic you can spare us all a detailed account of your year?

Anyone else get any good ones?

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 24/12/2020 21:11

@FreeFallingFree

Apparently my SIL does one, but we're never been sent a copy. Not sure why but suspect it mentions us in unflattering terms but anyway she and BIL are mid forties, I didn't think this was a thing done by anyone under 70. Does anyone else get one from people in their 40s?
Funnily enough, the 30/40 year olds in our family do this. The elderly ones just send cards.
Onekidnoclue · 24/12/2020 21:14

I love them. The cringier the better for me!

It’s like a mini binge on a soap opera.

geogteach · 24/12/2020 21:18

Ds came back from
Uni, first thing he said was ' has x's letter arrived yet?' He has never
Met x but it is the highlight of his Christmas!

Whaleandsnail6 · 24/12/2020 21:21

I'd have loved to receive a letter like that! but then I include the dog on Christmas cards so I'm probably not the best judge

Trinpy · 24/12/2020 21:22

I've never had one but my parents used to get several - always from people they hadn't spoken to in 20+ years as their real friends make the effort to see them/call them throughout the year. They were the classic round robins written purely to boast about how well their family was doing. I always loved reading them but I think they've dried up a bit now as the senders are either too elderly to write or have maybe realised how odd it is writing to someone you haven't seen in 35 years to tell them what uni your grandchild got into 🤔.

My favourite one was written from the perspective of a different pet each year. It was funny odd rather than funny haha but I like the surreal.

GnomeDePlume · 24/12/2020 21:42

My friend does one every year. I love it, it is genuinely one of the highlights of the season for me.

ICouldHaveCheckedFirst · 24/12/2020 21:49

I get a few every year.
One couple, long-standing friends we rarely see now, have sent cards for the last few years which are just a photo of the extended family and a pre-printed message. Not even signed. I wondered why they bothered, tbh. This year, they included a RR. It was good to get a proper update, and we found out they have been having health and other issues that we were unaware of, but are glad we know.

One I enjoy as it's from a former neighbour of my parents, and she keeps me up to date with all the hatches, matches and despatches in the parish.

amicissimma · 24/12/2020 21:56

I disagree. They've been a real joy to me this year. I find trying to socialise over the internet very hard, but to sit down with a 'chat' from someone of whom I'm fond is very comforting. It's interesting and helpful to learn how others have dealt with this year.

I only exchange Christmas cards with people I like and I'm glad to hear how they've been, particularly this year, with all its new challenges. Some have done well and I'm pleased for them, others have struggled/are struggling and I feel for them and can contact them to sympathise.

I get frustrated when I open a card with anticipation and it just says 'love from x'. But I want to know how you are!

Kendodd · 24/12/2020 22:03

I love them. Or well, I would love them except I've never received or sent one.

ilikebooksandplants · 24/12/2020 22:12

I love them but I enjoy my fb for bitching about all the over sharers and idiots that I know. Some family members are only on there for that reason!

I know, that makes me sound dreadful. I’m a nice person really!

Santaisreel · 24/12/2020 22:19

I had never heard of these until Mumsnet, then I guessed they are like some sort of pre Facebook update thing.

Phineyj · 24/12/2020 22:21

My BIL (a vicar) usually sends truly irritating ones (is there such a thing as a religious humblebrag?), but 2020 seems to have brought him down to earth a bit and this year's was rather sweet. I like it when people do a collage of photos.

Twilightstarbright · 24/12/2020 22:22

I was tempted to do one this year but I posted on MN and was told they were crap so I didn't. Kind of regretting it now. Surely there's a way to do it that isn't bragging?

FuckOffDailyFailure · 24/12/2020 22:26

If you have a skill for writing, then I think it's more than possible to write a good one.

tttigress · 24/12/2020 22:29

Reading Christmas round robins is actually a guilty pleasure! One of my relatives is actually a pretty humourous writer, another does have a few cringe worthy humble brags in each letter.

I get the impression they became a thing in the 80s, most of the people I know who do them are my parents age, so now entering 60s/70s. I guess social media has taken over for everyone under 40.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 24/12/2020 22:30

I love them.
Most of my friends who do them write ones that are funny and honest and not boastful at all.
I grew up looking forward to the ones my parents used to get from their friends with a Good Life type smallholding and their friends who bought and restored a different old house every year.
My mum usually brings them up with her if she comes to ours for Christmas- I miss them this year.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 24/12/2020 22:34

My mil gets one from an old friend of hers. She shows it to everyone with a snigger. DH can't understand why l'm not fond of the backstabbing two faced cow.

CarryOnFestiveNamechanging · 24/12/2020 22:38

A friend of mine sent one. It was a bit cringey, but I know they are genuinely proud of all the many things they’ve all done and achieved this year.

I replied with: @CarryOn has achieved fuck all this year. She spent most of the year refreshing the BBC News website and eating chocolate.

BadLad · 24/12/2020 23:45

I was tempted to do one this year but I posted on MN and was told they were crap so I didn't. Kind of regretting it now.

Grin

Glad we got to you in time.

If you ever start thinking about buying a loo brush, let us know.

Justajot · 25/12/2020 00:21

We got one this year. I didn't think people my age did them, but I guess the couple that sent it have always tried to emulate their parents a bit. I think the main reason they sent it is that she got a big promotion.

It mainly reminded me of why we don't actually make any effort to keep in touch with them. Utterly cringeworthy and it's always been obvious that her interest in other people is to check she's doing better than them.

danadas · 25/12/2020 00:25

Wow I didnt even know they were a thing over here. I've heard them in America, think there was reference in a Friends episode?
We are all really active on social media though so there probably isn't anything to tell that we wouldn't already know about each other!

CayrolBaaaskin · 25/12/2020 00:27

I love that op! The squirrel stuff is gold. I wish I got stuff like that

MrsToothyBitch · 25/12/2020 00:34

I love a good braggy one. They're so bad it's good! My ex's family used to get one from a braggy relative and ex's DB would imitate the queen and read it out at Christmas lunch!

I keep meaning to Janet & Roy the RR-sender-offender we get. They've got an awfully over achieving (but lovely) Dd. Janet & Roy's DC need to win a fucking Nobel Prize or something. Grin

ZZTopGuitarSolo · 25/12/2020 00:34

My MIL's are the best. They're a litany of what's gone wrong in everyone's lives this year.

"Bruno and his wife divorced, finally. It really wasn't a surprise to anyone. Hopefully they'll be OK. I did tell them the marriage would never work, but they still thought it would be a wonderful idea to spend thousands on a ridiculously over the top wedding.

Jenny and Phillip have finally managed to have a baby. I suspect they had help. It's taken them forever. She's a gorgeous little thing. The baby, not Jenny. She's a bit fat. Jenny that is. Not the baby.

Still that's better than Lisa, who's on her third husband and second second set of stepchildren. I really do think she'll regret not having had children of her own, even if she does get to fly everywhere in a private jet. I suspect this marriage won't last much longer than her last one.

I'm doing quite well - still playing tennis now and then despite the pandemic that's ruining all of our lives. And don't get me started on Brexit. I really do despair."

Threelionsandalioness · 25/12/2020 00:42

I've never even heard of this before , sounds fab,well from what I've gathered so far from this thread
If anybody could possibly explain properly for me i would be very grateful thank you x