How to stop getting a bit frantic before Christmas (or is it ok?)

[Chewbecca]

Every year I do get in a bit of a tizz, making sure the house is clean and tidy, everything is prepared etc.

I do become a bit of a nag & have really pissed DH off today with my desire for everything to be in its place. For example, I’ve asked him to put his shoes in the shoe drawer (instead of in the hallway), to put his coat on the stairs (instead of on the sofa) and to throw away random bits of rubbish lying on the coffee table (brochures etc.).

I do it before a holiday too, have to get everything straight and can’t relax til it’s done.

Why do I do it? Can I stop? Do others do this? I don’t want to annoy DH but I don’t want a messy house either. If it’s ok to do it, how to stop DH being pissed off with me?

YABU - stop nagging and tizzying and leave the (little bit of) mess
YANBU - it’s ok to clear up and your DH needs to get on board with the clean & tidy house pre Christmas and holidays.

I don’t think expecting an adult to hang his own coat up, put his shoes away and clear up rubbish can be considered nagging.

We always have a pre-Christmas tidy/clean and I expect DH to get involved too because he also lives here! You should be supported by your partner not made to feel like a nag. Hope you manage to have a lovely Christmas and get the chance to have a rest yourself.

Errrr....is your husband a child ? You don't need Xmas as an excuse. He should be respectfully tidy about these basic tasks anyway!

He is pretty clean and tidy generally it should be noted!

Does it really matter?

I used to be hyper tidy when I had PND. Now I keep things reasonably clean but it's so much better for my mental health to just let it go. Do you have visitors coming? We don't. I cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms and hoovered through and put laundry away this morning but if things get messy now I'm not bothered. Enjoy the festive period.

I voted YABU because the minute I realised everything didn't need to be perfect for Christmas I enjoyed it so much more.
However that only stands if we're talking about you being a perfectionist.

No, no one coming, that’s why he thinks I am being daft.

Not sure if I am a perfectionist or not., interesting point.

He’s done the hoovering and laundry (including bedclothes).

Your coats live ON the stairs?

YABU for that

I can’t remember the word for the post at the bottom of the stairs?! If I remember it, am I NU? Please?

Don’t know if you have kids or not but my dad was like this at Christmas and it ruined it most years.
Even if you don’t have kids, a little bit of mess isn’t going to hurt, try and relax a bit and enjoy it

My parents were like this and I hated it. Just chill out, it doesn't matter. I haven't done any special prepping or cleaning.

I will.

I understand where you are coming from OP I'm the same
I naturally a tidy person but this is different when it comes to holidays. Funnily enough I have though about it today and we are at friends tomorrow and still find stuff to do !!
I'm sure there is more to it in my case, it's like I want everything to be perfect of I'm out of my comfort zone so this is my control

I feel like this too. I want everything clean and tidy before we start making the giant mess that is Christmas. I do try to relax, but I am so much happier if we have a clean, tidy house on Christmas Eve.

My Mum was like this, it was awful, I remember being put to bed then the bloody hoover coming out at 9/10pm. Christmas Eve was always on edge and no fun at because of endless cleaning.

Ok, so I am normal but must try hard to stop to prevent ruining things for others.

I’m not normally a clean /tidy freak, I have never hoovered my house for example, it’s DH’s job! I just feel the need for tidiness before Christmas.