Mum didn't get me a Christmas card or gift?

[Jessica382]

I'm 26, pregnant and spending Christmas with the boyfriend due to lockdown. Boyfriends parents have got us both gifts. My mum hasn't done anything. Im a bit embarrassed? Aibu?

Embarrassed? Whats the backstory?

Maybe she's just waiting to see you.

Are you sure she hasn’t, OP? Could it be held up in the post? Or does she have previous for this sort of behaviour?

She doesn't do Christmas but as I'm pregnant for the first time I thought it was extra special this year. Aibu?

If she doesn’t usually do Christmas I wouldn’t expect her to start now, but fair enough that it’s a bit disappointing!

Well yes YABU. Why would you being pregnant make her suddenly "do" Christmas?

She might get more into it when the baby's old enough for something of course.

How do you know? It’s still Christmas Eve in the U.K.

If nothing shows up, no reason to be embarrassed since she doesn’t celebrate Christmas. Why would you being pregnant change anything?

It is very annoying when you're pregnant for the first time and you think everyone's going to be extra nice to you and look after you and they just keep being the same as they always were. This is not the same as it is on TV and In films!

I haven't got a card, present and neither have my children from "D"M , she normally does Christmas too!
I wouldn't worry about it. You've got your boyfriend and a beautiful baby on the way. Thats the main thing. 😊

YABU if she doesn't usually do Christmas

If she doesn't usually do Xmas then it shouldn't be a surprise to you. If you want her to get her grandchild anything next Xmas you're probably going to have to talk to her about it otherwise you're going to be disappointed next year.

Being pregnant is no reason to change what she usually does. If you previously didn’t mind not getting a present, then it’s fine. If there’s a big backstory - maybe not fine. But don’t be precious about being pregnant!

I haven't received a birthday or Christmas gift from either of my parents for so many years now...it upsets me each year.....

I don’t think you have anything to be embarrassed about, but I think I understand how you feel. My family isn’t big into gifts and it’s hurt that my brother and sister have literally never given my young son a gift or anything when I gave birth, not even a card.

It’s disappointing but I don’t have any suggestion besides accepting that even loved ones have blind spots and try not to get too caught up with how things are “supposed” to be.

Did she “do” Christmas when you were a child, OP? If so, when did she stop?

@zzizz

Well yes YABU. Why would you being pregnant make her suddenly "do" Christmas?

She might get more into it when the baby's old enough for something of course.

I agree. You being pregnant isn't a reason for her to change her habits but I hope in the future she sees the joy that Christmas brings to children and wants to be a part of it.

I've never had a card or a gift from siblings or parents since age 14. That was the cut off apparently. My family just don't do gifts. My children don't get cards or gifts either from my parents or my siblings. They don't get anything from me, it's just how we do things. Doesn't bother me at all. We all quite like each other so no probs