To think he could at least talk to me?

[Shinylikeglass]

DH is seriously ill and in a lot of pain, really struggles to move from the bed to the chair.

As a result I am having to pick up everything at home, which is OK, he would do the same for me. When he's able, he does more than his share.

He's spent the last week watching films and being waited on hand and foot. Which, again, is fine, I'm happy he's at least been able to do one thing he enjoys.

However, when I do take 5 mins to sit down with him, he's still glued to the TV, literally doesn't hear me when I speak.

Is it unreasonable to expect he might pause the film for a few minutes and/or we might have a conversation or is being in so much pain so miserable he's excused?

The news re his health isn't good, we're both struggling with it and it is true many of the chores I'm doing have the main purpose of "keeping busy" which of course he can't do, but I also feel like we should make the most of each other's company while we can.

The only analogy I have is labour. I was in such pain I could only focus on my screen and DH had to just sit there. I'll never watch Stargate again!

Is that how extreme the pain is?

Well obviously I can't feel his pain but from his behaviour I would say yes, similar pain, although it is being treated, he's not without pain relief.

Sometimes, absorbing yourself in something, such as a movie, is the only way you get respite from pain, whether emotional or physical - it takes you out of the present and puts you somewhere else, whether it's just somewhere happy or you're out in the stars and where people are healed through technology and good always wins through.

Particular genres are like that for me and it's emotionally painful to be dragged out of that by somebody speaking to me/expecting me to give them my attention when, in all honesty, it's something that is either pointless noise or can wait until my hour of escape has ended.

He’s in a lot of pain, and it sounds like the prognosis isn’t great at least immediately, so he’s got a lot on his mind... I know that you do too, but I’d try to give him a pass on this one, for a while.

Have you got other people you can lean on a bit?

I was about to say the same as Mrs TP.

When I was in labour, I had to focus inward on dealing with the pain and I don't even remember dp being there for most of it. Maybe it's like that.

Sorry, it must be very hard.

When I’m in a lot of pain I don’t want to be spoke to. I get irritated quickly and don’t want to talk about mundane stuff I don’t care about.

Poor bloke, poor you. It's all shit, sorry.

Have you asked him if he can take a few minutes to catch up with you?

@HopeAndDriftWood

He’s in a lot of pain, and it sounds like the prognosis isn’t great at least immediately, so he’s got a lot on his mind... I know that you do too, but I’d try to give him a pass on this one, for a while.

Have you got other people you can lean on a bit?

It's been a real "find out who your friends are" year for us.

Our "best" friends have pretty much disappeared but a couple of "acquaintances" have been brilliant. And, actually, my boss is being amazing too.

Op i just wanted to send you my thoughts