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Stolen possessions, no 'evidence' of culprit (sil)

3 replies

Disneyland2010 · 24/12/2020 14:11

I lived with dh's family for a while as we were struggling financially for a bit. This included an adult sil. On 2 occasions my valuables such as an expensive watch went missing when I left them on the shelf down stairs after doing something messy and didnt want it to get damaged. The mil and sil told me i should better look after my items, but behaved very suspect and tried to play mind games to make me doubt where i had left the items. I know i didnt have physical evidence but i knew it was them for various reasons i dont want to go into here. I was too scared to cause a fuss or confront as i knew they'd never admit it and it would cause trouble as it was my word against theirs.

I sucked it up quietly and moved out as soon as possible. However during the moving process I was unwell and bed bound for a while. This meant my dh bought over all of our bags etc to our new place whilst i recovered. My sil helped him pack up our things (he wasnt in room) and i only found out about this after. I had a wallet with my important personal documents in my cupboard. This has gone missing - its the only thing that did not arrive with the rest of my stuff and my dh is confused, saying he knows he put it aside for me.

What would you? I know i can ask her to "double check" and look but i know I'll get snarky comments about looking after my things and insistence that she doesn't have a clue and never saw it.

If she's spiteful enough to do such a thing, i dont really know what i can do? Any ideas? The watch etc she definitely took but the documents I'm not 100% sure as ive had no direct communication with her about it and was so unwell /uninvolved during the moving period.

In hindsight yes I should have flagged it up and got dh to hand deliver them to me to put away, but i was so out of it and thought my bedroom was at least safe from her scheming.

P.s dh knows she can be cunning, but doesn't think she would go as low as stealing.

OP posts:
Disneyland2010 · 24/12/2020 14:12

Posting above on behalf of my friend who wants advice....

OP posts:
EveningOverRooftops · 24/12/2020 14:49

What’s the nature of the personal documents?

Banking/finance related stuff? Notify banks of them being lost/stolen but you may need a crime number I’m not 100%. Keep a close eye on withdrawals, detail changes, requests for new bank cards and PIN numbers etc.

Birth certificates etc? New ones can be ordered for a small fee.

Licences/passports. Notify of them being lost/stolen and order replacements.

Insurance stuff. Contact them and double check policies haven’t been amended/changed/cancelled etc.

If anything contains a signature along with the other info then of course there’s a risk of fraud (even without the signature) so keeping an eye on credit score, any new applications for credit cards etc and notify each one, if they come up, that it’s fraudulent.

You may have to contact the police that it’s vanished.

I’m not suggesting the family would do this but if someone threw it in the bin to be difficult/make your life difficult it could easily be picked up by another to use for such purposes.

grannyinapram · 25/12/2020 19:14

Definitely contact experian or the others and check your credit etc going forward.
similar happened to us and we had to pay off debts and deal with bailiffs and couldn't get a mortgage because of it.

don't trust her again and get everything reported as lost/stolen because it is!

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