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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Concerns over sil and her attitude to covid.

3 replies

Rudolph98 · 24/12/2020 11:45

Hi all, this really hasn’t got anything to do with me but I’m posting on behalf of my partner for advice. We live with our dc so this doesn’t really affect us at all but he is worried sick. His mum and mums husband is somewhat vulnerable to covid. Not in the shielding group but in 60’s and health problems (heart disease, blood pressure, diabetes that kinda thing).

Sil is in her late twenties nearly 30 so not a teen pushing the boundaries and should know better. She went back there to live late last year then covid happened.

But she hasn’t taken covid seriously at all. She’s never followed lockdown rules at all, stayed at friends houses in other areas just for the hell of it, went abroad and didn’t isolate, parties, get togethers, more recently travelling to other tiers (one tier 4) to see a friend and stay there. A few weeks ago she pretended she lived at the same address as friends so they could go pub together. Just everything she shouldn’t really.

Like I say this doesn’t really directly impact as we don’t see them too much.

But oh has spoken to mil she’s worried sick the daughter will bring covid home. Her husband is the more vulnerable. He pretty much shuts himself away in his room. She always goes out and gets drunk the stays at peoples houses and comes home.

Aibu to think if she behaves like this she needs to find her own place? She’s not very settled at all. Was sofa hopping before moving back there. She needs a home but she needs to sort herself out.

We are meant to be seeing them tomorrow but not sure we will. She’s not long been back from a now tier 4 area and not sure it’s worth the risk and there’s always tension over there because of it all.

They also have another child living there who just goes to work and doesn’t do too much in between and that’s it. She’s considerably younger than said sister above and she’s much more sensible!

Aibu not to go? Mil really wants to see dc but not sure because of sil’s massive amount of social interaction!

OP posts:
lljkk · 24/12/2020 11:52

Your PILs have had 9 months to tell her DD to stop socialising so much (or move out). Are they normally doormats?

Rudolph98 · 24/12/2020 11:54

I agree. I just think it’s because she hasn’t really got anywhere to go! Because the husband isn’t her bio dad she doesn’t listen to him at all. It’s not like we are talking about a teen here either! Most teenagers I know are taking it more seriously than her!

OP posts:
Sweetpea1532 · 24/12/2020 20:17

@Rudolph98
Oh, please don't go to theirs....you've been so careful.
Hold on for just a few more weeks for the vaccine...
If you must go maybe you could have your Christmas cake and eat it, tooXmas Grin
Remember how at the beginning families would go to their relatives homes and visit through the closed window? You could take food and still enjoy a Christmas meal together...your DC would probably find a Christmas picnic exciting ( hope you don't live somewhere where there is a metre of snow on the ground or mass flooding...if so, you all could just bundle up in waterproof gear and umbrellas and cut the visit to a short while)
Or like I said at the beginning...just wait a few more weeks...YOU and DH need to be the voice of reason for your DMil as it seems your SIL is extremely selfish and only cares about her entertainment prospects.
I bet if she came down with Covid19, she'd be knocking people over to get to the head of the line at A&E
Do not go, OP...if you think about it like this....if you do go, all those precautions you've taken for these many months will be for naught...and really, not much better than SIL by taking one chance...I don't mean that in a mean or bad way...just kind of like using protection for sex for years and then deciding that this one time it will be ok not to and you won't get pregnant....and you might not get the virus or give it to them, but why take the chance?

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