Xmas with inlaws

[Yamsin]

I just need somewhere to vent as I feel rude doing with my OH, but need to get it off my chest!

We are 4 hours from London staying with in laws until at least new years - maybe longer depending on what gov announces about childcare closures and general covid - so we can work and they can look after our baby.

My inlaws are lovely and we generally get on, but I find a week with them is my max time as they are very set in their ways and I like a bit of spontaneity. At this rate it will be at least 2 weeks now and I think I might go crazy and we all get into a row!!!!

How do others cope???

Background:

My MiL kindly came 2 weeks before tier 4 debacle to look after DS while I started back at work/waited for nursery place to start in early Jan/ moved house mid Dec. I don't know how we would have coped through Dec without her, she is such a star!

We were due to drive her back a week before xmas (she is v nervous of public transport/covid etc of course) spend xmas there, then back to our new house.

This was all the day tier 4 was announced, and rather than rudely chucking her on the train we drove in the night with the baby to get her home, and then accepted we will have to isolate and spend at least a couple of weeks with them in splendid rural isolation.

Still feel it was the right thing to do - though tbh we would have loved an xmas on our own in our new house - but I think I underestimated how hard it would be!!!!

They are in tier 2 so technically we can go out and go to cafes/pubs etc but we are being super cautious and isolating, but that makes for a tough 2+ weeks in a house where they don't like to turn on the heating, lights, need to sit down and make polite conversation 3 meals a day, adhere to a schedule of what is eaten when and drunk over the next two weeks, TV schedules gahhhhhhhhh

I know I am being so ungrateful and I really think they are wonderful but I have an awful feeling we might all have a falling out!!!!

Just go home, the risk is when people go from higher tiers to lower, not vice versa. You have to weigh up the convenience of the free child care vs the inconvenience of having to “sit down and make polite conversation 3 meals a day” i guess

Have you got Internet, a tablet and netflix? If not can you obtain some. I would probably find that my dc takes quite a long time to settle each evening.

Felt a bit like your post was a justification for escaping London for a tier 2 destination.

Leaving is definitely not an option for us I'm afraid, we have been living as if tier 4 for most of the year tbh as most of our family are very cautious. That's fine for us.

Yes I used the baby settling thing last night :)

Just interested to hear what others are doing to get by!

I think a week on anyone’s else house is to much for me. You have my sympathy

Sounds like you left London when tier 4 was announced which isn't what you were meant to have done.

After 3 days guests and fish stink

In law bingo might work if oh is also sympathetic to your plight. Long walks. Offering to cook a meal while they take long walks. Always have work crisis in reserve. Prepare everyone for the possibility that at some point the crisis might occur. Ideally have a work pal who is in on the problem and can ring and alert you at the appropriate time. Even better if they are in a similar position so you can reciprocate.

Surely dropping her off and returning home would be more "correct" than staying in a tier 2 area? That's very confusing

“ Just interested to hear what others are doing to get by!”

Staying at home and looking after my own dc

OH made an interesting point that maybe we are just a bit less socialised given we have mostly had just our own company with a newborn for 2020 - and uncertainty still about Jan - so we are finding it more than usual frustrating. And no SiL and family to cushion the usual family drama. Probably like everyone else. ho hum. At least I will be very well informed about changes in local traffic the last 12 months thanks to FiL

Felt a bit like your post was a justification for escaping London for a tier 2 destination

^^This.

I expect they're finding it quite a strain too.

Why did you all need to drive and drop her off? Why did one person not take her then come back ?
Why did you need to escape tier 4 for rural isolation and now you’re moaning about them in their own house!?
Why are you not just going home ?
People do manage at Christmas to look after their own children without further adult assistance you know🙄

Please stay where you are and be grateful none of her neighbours have called the police thinking's you should not be there. Be glad for the childcare and assistance. Think of those who do not have the options you have but are in small flats in tier 4 areas, or have limited food because of poverty.

You can go for walks without going into pubs and shops. Indeed probably best not to, as I suspect if it is a rural location you may encounter hostility.

As for tv, as long as Mrs Browns Boys is not on, I think be gracious.

Sounds like you thought the grass would be greener and you had a 'justifiable reason' for leaving tier 4, but you're now regretting it.

Why didn't you just drive home again after dropping her off? Why did it take more than one of you to drive her home? Why are you isolating? You've brought this on yourself!

Yep, sounds a bit like “we escaped T4 and now regret it “
I would just go home if I were you

Yes I don’t understand why you just didn’t drop her off and go back home. It’s kind of your own doing. I wouldn’t be able to do more than a day or so with in-laws, you should have known it would be awful. Just go home.