To ask for help getting help for a vulnerable adult

[shescreamsforme]

Really shitty time atm and we don't know what to do.

My grandad died from Alzheimer's 4 weeks ago and my uncle is an alcoholic and after my grandad/his dad died he just drank. 3 days ago my dad died suddenly. My mum is struggling with all of this and the hospital isn't helping that just want him out of their bed so will just return him to where he was, my grandparents house but he wasn't coping there, the place was a mess and dirty etc. It's a biggish house and he can't get up the stairs. He owns a flat and it's a shit tip and uninhabitable atm, it needs ripping out and starting again.

He was a Covid close contact in hospital so has to isolate for 2 weeks when he gets home. There's no food in the house so whats he supposed to do? I doubt he could go to the supermarket anyway as he can barely get to the toilet.

I've gone to stay with my mum because of my dad dying so we are all 50 miles away and none of us could even drive there if we wanted to.

He's 54 and is almost computer illiterate, rubbish as basic household stuff, cooking/cleaning etc. He has depression which is why he drinks. He hasn't had a job in a long time and when he did he worked for my grandad.

Who do we talk to to get him some actual support when he is discharged?

Has his local council got a number to ring for vulnerable people during covid? Here they are set up to deliver food boxes via the council to those who qualify, it sounds as though he might.

Also I would see if his GP feels he warrants referring to the local MH NHS Service for ongoing support, if not them then the local Mind charity may have something to offer.

And I am sorry for the losses you have all suffered, take care of each other x

Thanks @ChoccyJules

I didn't think of the food delivery thing, didn't think they were still go but I'll go look.

Not sure about MH referral but his GP was talking to my mum just before he was admitted to hospital so I guess she can call them again and ask for support. Will look at mind too, thanks

He needs a hospital discharge social worker. If they won't get involved until he is discharged you will struggle to get your area team/community social work team to pick this up but they would be my second call. Look on your council website or ring the GP for the number.

Also, I'm sorry for what an awful time your family are having.

@Jobsharenightmare I spoke to the hospital social worker and she said they can't get involved unless he is referred by the ward and the nurse my mum spoke to did really seem to give a shit tbh and was incredibly rude and unhelpful (hung up with "ok bye" while my mum was sobbing)

Talk to the hospital discharge planning team. I am afraid any care package will have to be due to having a disability not just being incapable of tasks and drinking.

I guess he'll have been detoxed in hospital. If he wants help to stay away from alcohol it is available and the hospital should have the contacts but it will be self referral. He has to help himself a bit.

Also ask for him to see the liaison mental health team whilst he is in hospital. Unlikely that mental health services will take a referral if the main issue is alcohol. He'd be better to be assessed whilst not drinking ie now in hospital.

On the whole of alcohol is the main problem expect there to be very little help. Sad but true.

We would put a care package in for inability to self care even without a disability diagnosis. I suggest approaching the nurse in charge or another sister on the ward.

Yes if alcohol is the main issue MHS may not even assess, although Liaison probably will.

@shescreamsforme I think you've had a namechange fail there.

Does your uncle have capacity? If so, he can be discharged even if he's not caring well for himself. What is the status of the house he's going to? Can he actually live there or will he need to vacate?

@DougRossIsTheBoss yeah he was being detoxed and the did a scan and there's something up with his lungs (no idea what). My uncle has a really bad shake so it took a while to get him relatively still. I guess the alcohol is a symptom of the depression.

@Jobsharenightmare I don't think the person on the ward is going to be that helpful will try liaison.

@Lougle I have  weird, stupid app. Capacity as in he's "all there" (sorry, can't think of the words), I guess so... he's been a bit confused at times and he doesn't "get" stuff like he needs to pay council tax and he is running up incredibly high bills which he can pay and he's ignoring that kind of thing. The house he is going to was my grandparents, both now dead, it's in a bit of a state and needs selling.

Ask to speak to the consultant in charge of his care to get a clear explanation of what is medically wrong with him and then ask them to refer him to liaison psych to assess whether he is depressed or cognitively impaired. Make the case that you feel he is not safe to be discharged without care.
This would all depend on him having given permission for you to talk to Drs about him of course.

Who does the house now belong to? What does the will say?
I suppose even if he's not allowed back there it doesn't make much difference as he has his own place he could go to. He isn't homeless.

Help to clear up a property is very hard to come by. Generally you have to pay for that yourself. Cleaning is specifically not a care need. If he has money (will he have inherited a share of the house?) he could just pay a care agency himself.

@DougRossIsTheBoss The house has to go through probate so it's neither of theirs yet but it will be 50:50 split. We are thinking a skip for the flat and a family friend can help to make good. I guess he'll get half the money in my grandads bank account but the house sale will be slower.