To want to go and sit somewhere on my own

[SolitaryBugger]

I love my family and I love Xmas. This year will be the first year in decades that I won’t be cooking for 13 plus. I’ve always enjoyed doing it but my DDad died earlier this year and my hearts not in it so it’s just as well there will be just the six of us.
Even so I find just being in the same room as all of us lovely for an hour or so but then I just can’t stand it. A blaring TV or a noisy game which I have to fake attention to. I crave a room on my own. Am I just getting selfish as I get older ( 55, with 2 teen and 2 adult dc)? Anybody else feel like this???

YANBU! I’m the same. Love a little lie down on my bed alone. I have a 3 and 5 year old so doesn’t last long. Might stay putting headphones on while I cook for some peace 😄

Thank god it’s not just me. Though 3 and 5 is pretty full on. My DC are obviously older but they still expect a certain level of ‘mumness’ from me. Which is understandable of course ....

I crave this everyday without the grief. I imagine grieving makes the need greater. How can you process things otherwise.

I try and sneak away for 5 minutes peace every day. I tried this morning but ended up with a 2 year old on my lap whilst I wee'd and a 3 year old asking me where my penis was... 🙄

Definitely not alone, iv just escaped DH, DD(7) and DS(3) for a lie down in bed, I’m 7 weeks pregnant and feeling exhausted and very nauseous, but I frequently did it before this so that’s not the only reason, I just need space and quiet to myself to function.

I need this too, make sure you carve out sometime every day to do this if you can. I need silence and alone time to re-balance me most days, the world is just so over stimulating.

Thanks all!
But I feel like a bit of a fraud compared to you guys. I well remember the hard relentless - but enjoyable - years with young dc.
I’m taking the dog for increasingly long walks. Even the ironing has become enjoyable because its a noisy steam generator and so I go in another room to do it - on my own. I keep finding excuses and hope no one notices.

Am I you?? Also lost my DDad this year and also get the rage with stupid noisy steam generating iron.

I always have to sneak away from the noise during Christmas and any big family gathering. Last Christmas I snuck away with a glass of champagne and the dog and watched the Royal Ballet, it was bliss.

Do what you have to do. Everyone else bloody does.

I’m craving time on my own too. So much so that when the kid’s are back in school I’m taking a day off and telling nobody (apart from DH!)
I can’t get a minute to myself right now - the kids just pop up wherever I go. DS2 has asd and is very clingy right now, and I’m feeling all touched out. For now, I’ll have to make do with a coffee in the car park after I’ve collected my shopping (by myself!!)

Oops, I see you like the noisy iron! Oh well...

Absolutely. Essential to have time out - mainly for you, but also so you can be properly present when you are with people.

I feel like this. On Christmas Day I would love to go for a walk by myself and clear my head, but everyone in my house would look at me like an alien and random people outside would probably pity me

Don't feel guilty about needing that time.
It's been a rough year for you.
You need that time-out.
My dc are pre-teen and every Christmas morning once the presents are opened and breakfast is prepared I go upstairs and have half an hour chill time whilst dp is on hand for the dc.
I live with anxiety and feel overwhelmed at times. This time just allows me to reset myself somehow and I can then go on to enjoy the day.

@MatildaTheCat what excellent sneaking away skills! Ballet dog and drink sounds heavenly!
So nice to know that so many of us have times like this.
Perhaps I’ve been looking at it wrongly - it’s not selfish it’s looking after myself.
@Vitaminsss yes I get that ‘looking at me like I’m an alien’!
@partyatthepalace the being properly present is a challenge at the moment but I’ll keep trying.
@ipswichwitch yes I remember that secret pleasure of a coffee on my own after shopping. ‘There were huge queues ....’ I would tell DH.
@Spied you’re right - I have to stop with the guilt and just do it.
Thanks all so much.

nothing wrong with implementing a "nap" hour for grown up when you go to your bedroom and chill.

Me! I fantasise about having my own house, let alone my own room.

Sometimes I have a little bit of 'essential' work that I need to do and suggest that everyone goes for a walk without me. Despite my work being officially shut over Christmas I still have a few bits of work I can do for a couple of hours of peace!

Of course it's fine to sit on your own in your room sometimes! Take some time for you.

I crave peace sometimes. My D.C. are adult now but still like to have little chats which is lovely, but sometimes I need just 10 mins on my own. I usually say I’m just going for a quick walk - I’m secretly horrified when someone offers to come with me “for company”,,

I would kill to go and sit in a peaceful Christmassy room and sit beside the fire for a whole hour sipping tea and looking out the window at the tree branches against the sky. During this time I would not have to wipe anyone's bum, pretend to be interested in Superzings, or "look at this!" or "watch me!".

Seems perfectly normal to me!

I take at least an hour a day to myself - we don't have DC yet so this is pretty easy to do, but for me it's absolutely vital.

I'm currently watching Mary Poppins downstairs while DH is upstairs. I have the fire blazing, snacks next to me and a cat on my lap. It's bliss!

Everyone has gone out this afternoon, it's bliss! I've done all my prep for tomorrow and I've cracked open a cider...just me and the dog!

@pointyshoes I know exactly what you mean! ‘Oh lovely! Company on the dog walk’ ... heart sinks.
@TheYearOfSmallThings ‘tree branches against the sky’ ... does it for me to! I’m past the bum wiping stage but now it’s more ‘stop the 17 year old smoking weed in the garden’ etc.
And the catering .... ffs the catering.

@yearinyearout lovely - enjoy!
I’m just upstairs putting the ironing away aka lying on bed with dog on mumsnet

@vanillandhoney that does sound bliss. Sound of music is calling to me now. DH wants to watch The Godfather

Same here OP! I'm impressed you manage an hour. I'm currently sat upstairs on MN listening to the radio. I've given myself an hour whilst two dc and dh watch TV.