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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Partner’s Colleague Came To Work Despite Daughter’s School Being Shut Early

89 replies

CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 05:52

My partner’s colleague has been coming into work since Dec 10th. (It’s 23rd Dec at the time of writing this). His daughter’s school was shut early due to a COVID outbreak. The colleague never mentioned this until yesterday (22nd). He only mentioned it after it turned out her test result was positive. Turns out the whole family were asked by the school to get tested over the weekend. They all got tested on the 20th. His results came back negative. He never once mentioned the school being closed/the outbreak. He also never mentioned that they all had to be tested over the weekend - only mentioned on the 22nd that the daughter had tested positive.

AIBU in thinking that’s highly irresponsible and dangerous?! Most colleagues are working from home from their office due to their roles allowing them to do so but this colleague needs to be in the building due to the nature of his job. My partner said they work in different areas of the same building but obviously share a front door/kitchen; but he feels like he doesn’t need to isolate and get a test at any point because they have so little actual contact. I’m really annoyed at his colleague but also annoyed at my partner for seemingly being so lax about it all. I’m not seeing my parents this year for obvious reasons - and my partner isn’t doing the same (his father has cancer). I find the colleague’s attitude really horrible and am wondering if someone can be fired for knowingly coming into work when their child is supposed to be isolating at home?!? At no point did he think to mention it to my partner who is his boss?!?!

OP posts:
Jubaju · 23/12/2020 06:39

He has no symptoms so doesn’t require a test in this instance.

inquietant · 23/12/2020 06:39

@CatherineHale

Hi. I think my partner should be tested because they share the same kitchen/doors - but more than that - they handle the same equipment - (laptops/projectors/monitors) all of which are being sent to schools/homes given the home learning/WFH situation we’ve all experienced this year. So whilst the two men might not be literally close - there’s still ‘contact’ via items (due to the nature of their jobs).
There's not much point testing your partner unless he has symptoms unfortunately but I would be more careful for the next week or so.

This is why Christmas gatherings are a bad idea unless people have been able to fully isolate, because it is circulating at high levels in the working population.

Hercwasonasnowball · 23/12/2020 06:39

You'd have a field day OP if you knew what was happening re isolation from school contact.

The colleague has done nothing wrong.

Jubaju · 23/12/2020 06:40

Your husband that is^

MrsMiaWallis · 23/12/2020 06:42

Op, the best thing you can do in this situation is not see your parents or anyone over xmas, which is what you are doing.

Nowaynothappening · 23/12/2020 06:42

The Dad didn’t need to isolate until his DD tested positive. The DD was the only member of the household who needed to isolate because she was the close contact. That’s how it works. Their family didn’t need to get tested unless one of them developed symptoms, guessing the DD did hence her getting a test. He didn’t do anything wrong and your DH hasn’t been reckless either. You’re being OTT.

Someone at my DH’s work went in with symptoms after having a test. The test was positive so he was rightfully sacked.

SexTrainGlue · 23/12/2020 06:43

If you think this system is flawed, just wait until they roll out the new proposal, which means that pupils who are contacts of a positive case (such as the DD in OP's situation) will not be required to SI

Instead, it will be daily lateral flow testing.

www.bmj.com/content/371/bmj.m4469 - false negative rates, under 5% for those with high viral loads with test done perfectly by lab scientists. 22% when carried out by HCPs in other settings, and 42% when carried out by trained members of the public.

Now, who are they recruiting to do school based testing?

kirktonhouse · 23/12/2020 06:43

He needed to isolate when he was tested until he got the results. If his daughter is positive and he lives with her he should be isolating now. Has he done this? Is this the 'mention' that you're talking about? Is he off work now? If so then he has behaved correctly.

Your partner is not required to take a test, he is required to keep good hygiene with frequent hand washing etc. Your partner does not need to take a test just because you 'think' he should.

Hercwasonasnowball · 23/12/2020 06:44

The test was positive so he was rightfully sacked.
Bloody hell. I hope he's got legal advice.

Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 06:44

I agree that the family didn’t need to get tested unless one/all had symptoms. I too think the daughter did, but they’re maintaining the ‘school made them all get tested’ which I find hard to believe. Moot point, I’m sure.

OP posts:
pylongazer · 23/12/2020 06:48

You should only get a testing you have symptoms regardless of who you have been in contact with. He didn't need to isolate until his daughter got a positive test so why would he tell his employer? You're being completely over the top thinking your husband should be tested because he shares door handles etc, we may as well test everyone the second the get off the bus/go to Tesco/take a package in from Amazon if that's the case.

inquietant · 23/12/2020 06:49

@Hercwasonasnowball

The test was positive so he was rightfully sacked. Bloody hell. I hope he's got legal advice.
I think that will be covered legally - my work is very clear if you are waiting for test results you stay at home. It is under H&S advice so not negotiable.
snugglepuff · 23/12/2020 06:49

Yabu
The colleague has followed the guidelines

Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 06:50

I think what’s weird is none of what he says adds up. It all seems to be very unclear and disjointed.

A nurse YESTERDAY apparently advised that the rest of the household (a day after the child’s positive test) are ‘free to do what they want - and go where they want to go’. Yes; that’s a quote!

I’m sorry, but I just don’t believe that was said by a nurse!

OP posts:
Hercwasonasnowball · 23/12/2020 06:55

If they didn't have symptoms then the nurse is correct.

Jinglesplodge · 23/12/2020 06:56

I've heard of other early-closing schools which asked pupils and their families to test: you're not in Bedfordshire, are you?

Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 06:56

Also these responses are very helpful. Truly. I just find it odd that the family would be told over the weekend by the school to all go and get tested, but then came into work on Mon/Tues (whilst awaiting results) but then is claiming even after the positive result from the daughter - that a nurse has claimed he’s free to move about as he pleases...?! It’s all really weird.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 06:57

He said he had no symptoms ‘apart from fatigue.’

OP posts:
Hercwasonasnowball · 23/12/2020 06:58

Ah the nurse said that after the positive test, that's not right.

I'd file this under "you can't police other people" and move on.

LuckyNumberThirteen · 23/12/2020 07:01

I feel like you're drip-feeding info' to try and get people on your side.

He followed guidelines. You may not like it, but he's done nothing wrong.

Move on.

BigPlanes · 23/12/2020 07:01

Unfortunately this is normal and within guidelines- you are still expected at work if your child is self-isolating. Teachers, doctors, etc have all had to go to work with children self-isolating at home.

MawkishHawk · 23/12/2020 07:02

OP, you’re winding yourself up about this and it’s not helpful to you is it? You can only control your own actions and response. Wash your hands, wear your mask, keep your distance from people. Your DP will hopefully have been doing the same at work anyway (door handles etc is why we are all washing our hands and not touching our faces). Further examining of the minutiae of what your partner’s colleagues family are doing or not doing, or what garbled third hand report of advice the school or a nurse may or may not have said, is not a productive use of anyone’s time really is it.

Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 07:05

@LuckyNumberThirteen For what gain? I’d rather give them the facts - but it seems like all I’ve been getting from him is disjointed/unclear answers. I’d rather be honest and clear along the way - as much as is possible - if that’s ‘drip feeding’ - so be it.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatherineHale · 23/12/2020 07:09

Also; I’m trying to not give away too much information as it’s a fairly unique place of work.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
Jemma2907 · 23/12/2020 07:15

For those questioning getting a test without symptoms. Where I lived the schools asked every family to test without symptoms in a county while initiative called Community testing. We tested the last week of school and we've been asked to test again a few days before school return (if they return). There have been specific testing centres set up for people without symptoms. I assume they are doing this in lots of other places to try and curb the spread in those that are asymptomatic. After the test, providing you have no symptoms, you do not have to isolate before receiving the results so your partners colleague has followed guidelines.