Experiences of counselling

[Smudge18]

Just that really. I'm seriously considering counselling to help me get back on my feet after a truly crappy year however I have no idea what to expect/where to start. From looking online there seems to be several people/services local to me, is it just a case of going with my gut when picking one or is there anything particular I should be looking for? Also during sessions do you have to give an overview at the start as to what the things are that you want to discuss or do you just go with the flow so to speak?

Very much depends on what you're going for!
There are various approaches and theories, if you're looking for someone as a sounding board mostly I would say look for someone who uses person centred theory/therapy, if you prefer structure then CBT, childhood issues then psychodynamic. There's loads more though these are just a few.
The first session is usually setting the relationships - what you want out of the relationship, boundaries, expectations.

After the usual covering of the official stuff re: confidentiality, etc. They'll usually ask '...and what brought you hear today?' or 'what is it you're looking to get out of these sessions?' It's up to you to be as clear or as guarded as you like and they'll lead with that. Finding a good therapist is pot luck though- do bear that in mind and if you don't find one the first time, keep looking until you find them because once the dynamics between you and them fit, they can be transformational.

I have had both counselling from the NHS (several years ago) and private counselling (current). It looks like you are looking looking go private so I'll tell you about my experience with that.

I googled my counsellor and found someone who talked about the sort of issues I was dealing with on her site, was easy to book with and seemed to be on a similar wavelength to me. She offered a free 30 minute 'get to know each other session' and I told a rough outline of my issues and she told me the methods she used and advised on confidentiality etc. After this session there was no obligation to book any future sessions, I did though because I liked her.

At the start of each session I can either bring something specific that I want to talk about, we discuss 'homework' that was set or if failing that she will just ask how I am and go from there.

When I was doing my research I probably did a quick look at about 20 counsellors and a more indepth look at about 3 before picking her. I found that some counsellors looked very structured and I wanted someone more flexible.

I would recommend having a short session just to get to know the counsellor to see if it works and I think you will find your own rhythm.

Good luck getting back on your feet after a crap year and I hope you find someone who works for you.

Hi OP, I've had CBT on the NHS, bereavement counselling organised by my Uni through a local charitable organisation, and have paid for counselling twice.

It has always really helped me in all these forms and I hope you'll find it helps you too!

When going private (like PP that's what I assume from your message) you'll be able to see what you vibe with on people's websites - who appeals. Just to say that even when not paying I've always known it was only going to work with people I liked and had good 'chemistry' with, and I have requested to change counsellors even in the free settings when the chemistry was not working for me. It has to be someone you can be 100% honest with, and also basically someone you enjoy talking to.

You should be offered a free (or heavily discounted) introductory session to ask any questions. One question that I always found quite helpful was "when will we stop seeing each other?" Some therapists do life-long sessions which always felt overwhelming to me. The best answer I got was from the bereavement counsellor who said "at some point you'll find it too much trouble to come to sessions, and then we start our closing sessions", and that's exactly what happened - it went from the lifeline getting me through the week, to something I didn't really have time for, so we wound up.

I really wish you the best of luck and hope that you'll find the right person to help you X

Have a good think c what you want. Read up on some approaches and arrange taster sessions (most people will do at least a 15 min call) with 3 or 4 people.

Vital to get a sense of who and what is out there so you can have a gut instinct about what’s right for you.

Review it regularly

Some will give a free or heavily reduced initial appointment to see if it is a good fit and if your needs could fit their specialism.

I think it's healthy to view finding a therapist / counsellor a bit like dating! There's no obligation on either part to pursue it if you don't feel it's a good fit or your gut is telling you it's a no.

Thank you all so much. All your replies are really helpful and I'm feeling a bit braver about it all now.