To find this irritating and not really understand it.

[Besswess88]

I have a friend who has been a work colleague for 20 years.

We have another mutual friend who was also a work colleague but left about 10 years ago.

We used to meet up together but we haven’t done for some time.

My husband and I meet with ex colleague and her husband often, current colleague never comes to anything as her (now ex) partner was a bit of a twat and never wanted to.

Current colleague will tell me that she’s off to a meeting and later transpires she has met ex colleague for a long lunch. I am not bothered about being invited but I find the secrecy almost a bit insulting.

Ex colleague has messaged tonight to say her parent is on end of life care and I messaged current to say “have you heard this has happened” and she messages “yes I have” but she hadn’t messaged me to let me know.

It’s just so bloody odd 🤷‍♀️

The secrecy is a bit childish but I guess they want to maintain a separate friendship, while also maintaining their own relationships with you.

I'd find it weirder if she was spreading news about the other colleagues parents end of life.

That's defintly a first hand talk