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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Semi mask exempt colleague at work stressing me out.....

89 replies

Watermelon888 · 22/12/2020 19:57

Colleague wears mask when client facing but struggling to tolerate it well. Colleague has ongoing chest issues and frequent chest infections.

Keeps coming into our office, keeps 2m distance, but coughing and deep breathing saying it’s a relief to take it off. We are supposed to keep them on all the time. Colleague keeps wearing it under their nose.

It’s particularly stressful this week with Christmas round the corner. My sympathy is wearing thin. They did have a covid test , negative a few weeks ago, but is still seeing all family indoors despite tier 2 rules.

What can I do?

OP posts:
nildesparandum · 22/12/2020 23:08

I have COPD if I catch covid it is curtains for me and know it
That's why I wear a mask when in public places. I can tolerate it I have learnt to.

CorianderQueen · 22/12/2020 23:08

Tell her to get a filter one, they're much easier to wear. I hardly remember I have mine on.

PyongyangKipperbang · 23/12/2020 00:01

I am exempt but I wear it when I am shopping etc because frankly its easier than the filthy looks and shitty comments. But it really does cause me chest issues (asthmatic) and I have a perma cough due to the asthma.

I wore a face screen/shield when I was at work because it does allow me to breathe properly.

I think you are being unfair, she cant help it and is probably only wearing it client facing to save your company complaints.

Haenow · 23/12/2020 00:05

@Sn0tnose

Why are people ignoring the fact this individual has lung problems and therefore, would possibly be more at risk of complications. I’m sure they’d prefer to be able to wear a mask! Possible because they’re being a selfish fucker?

I have a chronic lung condition that has left me with knackered lungs and on lifelong medication so I do truly understand what it’s like to not be able to breathe properly. What I don’t do is go into other people’s offices, coughing and deep breathing all over the place.

I also have chronic lung disease. I’m fortunate I can tolerate a mask.

It’s possible that this person doesn’t have to wear the mask in the office. It’s not the law. In mine, you must wear it walking around the building but not at your desk.

Haenow · 23/12/2020 00:06

@CorianderQueen

Tell her to get a filter one, they're much easier to wear. I hardly remember I have mine on.
Genuine question but aren’t filter masks unhelpful in preventing transmission of disease? My understanding was that they protect the wearer but not the others. I could well be wrong!
Lochroy · 23/12/2020 00:11

@CorianderQueen

Tell her to get a filter one, they're much easier to wear. I hardly remember I have mine on.

Aren't these the ones which are completely useless in this situation as they stop you breathing nasties in, but let everything you breathe out flow freely out to infect everyone else.

I view wearers of these with the same disdain as the under nosers. Should know better.

Justsocross · 23/12/2020 02:00

I have a chronic lung/heart condition and am registered as extremely vulnerable . But I wear my mask whenever I go out !!! It is doable and I have to wear a mask at night and sometimes daytime for oxygen so have practiced for this for years Grin she must be told to wear the bloody thing correct to protect everyone else !!!!!

BlackWaveComing · 23/12/2020 05:09

@Sn0tnose

Why are people ignoring the fact this individual has lung problems and therefore, would possibly be more at risk of complications. I’m sure they’d prefer to be able to wear a mask! Possible because they’re being a selfish fucker?

I have a chronic lung condition that has left me with knackered lungs and on lifelong medication so I do truly understand what it’s like to not be able to breathe properly. What I don’t do is go into other people’s offices, coughing and deep breathing all over the place.

Same.
BlackWaveComing · 23/12/2020 05:20

@Justsocross

I have a chronic lung/heart condition and am registered as extremely vulnerable . But I wear my mask whenever I go out !!! It is doable and I have to wear a mask at night and sometimes daytime for oxygen so have practiced for this for years Grin she must be told to wear the bloody thing correct to protect everyone else !!!!!
Yep, I wear mine too, with a chronic, progressive non-asthma lung disease.
StealthPolarBear · 23/12/2020 05:27

How can filter masks (I don't actually know what they are but presume they cover nose and mouth) be less effective than a scarf or cloth wrapped round your face?

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/12/2020 06:00

Does the colleague have a different office? I’d be expecting them to stay there and take their mask off when alone.... unless they’re exempt from wearing one. Deffo need to talk to management.

Tumbleweed101 · 23/12/2020 07:57

My mum has COPD - she will wear one when she has to although hasn’t been out much this year but she says it restricts her limited breathing immensely and she can’t tolerate it for long without having to pull it down and take proper breaths. Mask wearing is horrible and I find after a short time I’m yawning under the mask and trying to get fresh air. Got every sympathy for those who need to wear them all day for work.

RaspberryCoulis · 23/12/2020 08:09

Why can't people get their head around the fact that everyone is different? Just because you can wear a mask comfortably for hours and have asthma / pneumonia / no lungs at all does not mean everyone is the same.

I have asthma and find masks incredibly uncomfortable and restrictive. I can tolerate one for 15 to 20 minutes for a quite dash round the supermarket, but even then take the opportunity of being in a quiet aisle to pull the bloody thing down and have a few breaths normally. There is no way I would be able to wear one for an hour or more.

lazyarse123 · 23/12/2020 08:09

I have a colleague with copd he cannot wear a mask but he does wear a visor all day. He is cev and is petrified of catching it. I've found where I work the youngsters happily wear masks it's the older ones always looking for excuses not to wear one. I'm older but luckily part of my job involves me being on my own so I take it off then. You need a word with your manager op.

Anon12345678910 · 23/12/2020 08:45

Completely irrelevant to OP’s situation.

Bet you're one of the the parents Hmm

Brefugee · 23/12/2020 09:03

Have some empathy for their disability/illness rather than letting your patience wear thin

and all the other "well if colleague can't wear a mask have empathy and suck it up" - which means: put yourself at more risk.

With all sympathy: if you can't wear a mask and everyone else is that is protecting you but what are you doing to protect them? Empathy goes both ways: don't cough all over their office/desk. If you must cough - cough into your elbow and how about a bit of an apology afterwards?

I get it, people can't wear masks. But they HAVE to be part of the solution too, not waltz through this letting everyone else take all the precautions.

Springersrock · 23/12/2020 09:17

I am bith hm at semi exception. You either can wear it or can't. If they can tolerate ot for clients protection, they should tolerate ot for yours. It would be different if they couldn't at all

There’s a big difference between wearing it for a little while in a meeting and wearing it all day at work

My daughter is exempt as she has Tourette’s and masks exacerbate her tics

She’ll wear it for as long as she can tolerate it, (mainly to stop dickheads shouting abuse - at a child, who clearly has a disability Hmm) so a 10 minute bus journey, to pop in a shop is fine, but any longer and she’s punching herself in the head

But, she is very careful to keep at least 2 metres distance when she’s not wearing it, she doesn’t cough and sneeze on people, she’ll sit in a quiet corner of the library at school, etc

Can you colleague have their own office or anything like that?

LolaSmiles · 23/12/2020 09:23

Why can't people get their head around the fact that everyone is different? Just because you can wear a mask comfortably for hours and have asthma / pneumonia / no lungs at all does not mean everyone is the same

You're right not everyone is the same, but most people with chronic respiratory issues know better than to be socialising indoors with multiple people (despite the restrictions) when they are more vulnerable to complications should they catch Covid, then go to work and make a huge fuss about their health and coughing on colleagues.

As someone who is clinically vulnerable, it sounds like this colleague wants it both ways: they are happy to engage in behaviour that ignores the restrictions and increases their risk of catching covid, but then claims vulnerability in the workplace. It doesn't make sense.

Twistered · 23/12/2020 09:32

This thread is really annoying me.
It doesn't matter if posters have lung or chest issues and wear a mask. That's irrelevant. The government have allowed exceptions. This person is excempt. They do try to wear a mask at times.
The government have made it that the person shouldn't be forced to wear a mask

So just because others who are excempt can wear masks means nothing here. Nothing

Daydreamsinglorioustechnicolor · 23/12/2020 09:34

@Anon12345678910

Completely irrelevant to OP’s situation.

Bet you're one of the the parents Hmm

Stop derailing the thread. This isn't about classrooms.
coldwaterfeed · 23/12/2020 09:36

The thread is not about mask exemptions. It’s about coughing in a COVID safe way. Even mask exempt people can do this.

nosswith · 23/12/2020 09:37

Face shields are available and may be a sensible option.

LovingCountryLife · 23/12/2020 09:40

@Okeydokeypiginapokey

There is no evidence that wearing of face masks stops the spread.
There is no evidence that face masks don't stop the spread, so let's be clever and err on the side of caution, yeah?
LovingCountryLife · 23/12/2020 09:43

@Twistered

This thread is really annoying me. It doesn't matter if posters have lung or chest issues and wear a mask. That's irrelevant. The government have allowed exceptions. This person is excempt. They do try to wear a mask at times. The government have made it that the person shouldn't be forced to wear a mask

So just because others who are excempt can wear masks means nothing here. Nothing

Yes, but the OP has clearly stated that the non mark wearer is exposing herself to Covid by seeing family members indoors. This is such selfish behavior, ESPECIALLY since she won't / can't wear a mask. FFS if you refuse to wear a mask for whatever reason, you have even more of a responsibility to keep away from Covid than anyone Hmm
LovingCountryLife · 23/12/2020 09:45

@LolaSmiles

Why can't people get their head around the fact that everyone is different? Just because you can wear a mask comfortably for hours and have asthma / pneumonia / no lungs at all does not mean everyone is the same

You're right not everyone is the same, but most people with chronic respiratory issues know better than to be socialising indoors with multiple people (despite the restrictions) when they are more vulnerable to complications should they catch Covid, then go to work and make a huge fuss about their health and coughing on colleagues.

As someone who is clinically vulnerable, it sounds like this colleague wants it both ways: they are happy to engage in behaviour that ignores the restrictions and increases their risk of catching covid, but then claims vulnerability in the workplace. It doesn't make sense.

Exactly this. It's purely selfish, self-centered behaviour. The 'I'm special' attitude that rankles so much.