No contact from friends - AIBU?

[coffeewithmilk]

I've recently gone through a huge traumatic experience in my life and had to have emergency surgery.
I put a short message explaining what had happened into my friends group whatsapp (about 9 friends in it) and they all replied things like 'sorry to hear' 'get better soon'
Since that message, I haven't heard from anyone. I thought someone might have contacted me to see if I'm home from hospital or how I'm doing but no, nothing. I then saw they were all together and out for dinner the following day.

AIBU in thinking that I should have heard from someone or even go to the extreme to receive a get well soon bouquet of flowers or card?
It's made me extremely upset which has worsened the situation in itself.

Maybe I'm just over considerate and would be the first to contact someone if the roles were reversed?

@WeatherwaxOn

Unfortunately a lot of people are really flaky. I have a friend who was in dire straits last week - they have a number of disabilities and are at risk of falling. Their mobile phone had an issue and wasn't working. They posted on social media and explained how it was a massive problem as if they fell they couldn't ring for help. Almost every reply was "Sorry to hear that" Not one person offered any actual help.

This was before the latest restrictions came in. Someone could have helped, but nobody did.

So what did you post?

I would match their level of care from now on. Are you generally the caring one? They may have pigeon holed you as the giver not the receiver of support.

Hope you feel better

I'm so sorry op. Hope you are feeling better.

Its probably a huge reason why I keep myself to myself these days, it is easier than being disappointed by people. Chances are on a group chat, as pp have said they take for granted someone else may be looking out for you.
Still doesn't make the hurt any less.

I gave up my expectations of 'friends' a long time ago, a year or so on ive found people coming out of the woodwork, not much help after all that time.

Hope you feel better soon x

Ourson yes I did. I don't live locally to them but sent them a spare old phone with a sim, and rang every day to check in on them.
Didn't post on SM and friend said nobody else had offered any help at all - even through they have local "friends" who could have checked in every few hours to make sure they were ok.

I had a really bad year in 2019 and it really surprised how little my friends were there for me. I was quite upset. Another friend said it might be because I come across as so self sufficient and strong, and someone else once said something similar years ago. I actually think you have to ask sometimes (even though you shouldn’t have to). At one point I posted on Facebook “can anyone do my horses tonight as I’m stuck at the hospital” and several people offered. But personally I’d always check on a friend that had just come out of hospital or was having a rough time.