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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to find this slightly annoying?

6 replies

santasavesxmas · 22/12/2020 16:41

Have been having the odd extended family skype with DP and my fam, and always seems to go the same way, the same family dynamics roll out and our little group seems to get routinely ignored. Fine mainly but tiresome on a monthly basis.

DP's older brother has young triplets so we spend most of the time chatting about them (lovely) and then focusing on everyone else's family news and big life events eg new babies, engagements, one uncle has bought a place abroad and will retire there after lockdown. However DP recently got promoted to HoD at work & headhunted for a new role, and no-one has asked about it or raised a glass etc

Perhaps sour grapes on my part as most of them know individually but he is the younger brother, and I feel bad for the older ones dominating the conversation? Would be nice if DP could just have a congratulations or anything. Think it hit home on the weekend when the grandparents kept asking about the minutiae of DUncle's flight trip/commute/new situation and I just thought, hang on, this is so unfair, we are the rapt audience but our turn never comes...

We have told people individually who seem happy for us (and its not lifechanging news) but its a big deal for DP who has been in the same job for yonks and, well, isnt that what families are for?! Given all our social lives have been massively curtailed anyway.

OP posts:
Baileyscheesecake · 22/12/2020 16:51

Sorry to hear this. I feel for you. I am similar in conversations. I always listen attentively and politely to others but they never have the courtesy to return the favour. So they end up thinking they are funny/interesting etc but they’re not - I’m just polite. Don’t know what the answer is. Maybe push yourself and partner’s achievements forward a bit more? Or just be happy in yourselves that you are achieving things and don’t need their recognition and the knowledge that you are nicer people! Flowers

DelphineWalsh · 22/12/2020 16:55

So why don't you start the congratulating so they can then join in?

santasavesxmas · 22/12/2020 16:58

Hi both, thanks for the lovely messages.

@DelphineWalsh Haha I did, said he had some great news, and then everyone logged off the call - think it was a bad connection but says it all really doesnt it. DP's argument is everyone already knows indirectly (well, most do) but I just wanted someone to raise a glass for him or a bit of a collective cheers.

Fed up of doing it for everyone else over absolute minutiae when he gets nothing in return...

OP posts:
HughPewBarneyMcGrew · 22/12/2020 17:10

said he had some great news, and then everyone logged off the call

Literally?

You said "hey guys, DP has had some great news this week.." and the entire family immediately clicked the off button without saying goodbye?

santasavesxmas · 22/12/2020 17:11

@HughPewBarneyMcGrew People were wrapping up & saying goodbyes. And most people knew already. I genuinely think they couldn't hear as didn't get a response.

OP posts:
HughPewBarneyMcGrew · 22/12/2020 18:39

Thanks for clarifying Skype/Zoom whatever can be tricky at the best of times but I get why you are upset Flowers

Congratulations to your OH.

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