To be scared to have baby number 2?

[DarkGreen]

I am so scared about doing the pregnancy and newborn stage again. First child has been a bad sleeper and still isn't great. Just so fearful of having a second baby but really want one.

Is this normal? To be really scared to have a baby?!

Sure is. And yet we all do it hihi.
Youll be ok. We all work it out in the end

Totally normal. We have delayed plans to TTC number 2 because DD is still very full on and a poor sleeper. I am torn between wanting to have a 2nd to feel that I have completed my family and remembering that it isn't compulsory if I decide its just too much.

Yup totally normal! I have a nearly 5 year old who still doesn't sleep through the night and twins due in the new year 😬 I'm equal parts excited and bloody petrified!!! Been washing all the baby clothes today and everything just seems so....Tiny! I know it's "only" been 5 years but I can't remember the new born stage at all!

Just delay it for a while if age isn't a concern

I hated the newborn stage but decided I could endure it again - I know this time that it ends! I'm now 33 weeks and DH and I both feel a mixture of excitement and dread... But I think it helps that we're now at a stage with DS that we find so much more enjoyable, it might be harder to feel optimistic about this as short-term pain, long-term gain if we were still struggling a lot with him.

I think in general that some of the unhappiest parents I know are people who specifically wanted a baby, so the better questions are: a) do you want another child, to be part of your family forever? b) if so, is that worth enduring pregnancy and the newborn stage for? No is a perfectly legitimate answer!

Yes, unless fertility age an issue I’d wait a bit. Now is far from an ideal time to be pregnant

In general I found having my second easier than first time round. It's busier in a physical, practical sense as you have two to take care of but I found it easier mentally. You've done it before so can be a bit more relaxed, the rubbish stages (teething/sleepless nights) are something that you know improves and that makes it more manageable.

That said, I do find myself wishing the baby/toddler stage away more with DC2 as DC1 is now at such a great age (nearly 4) and I find it easier as they get older. It's the reason we had two close together, to get the pregnancy/newborn bit done with!

Yes completely normal. 1st was awful sleeper and nearly broke me second was an amazing sleeper!!

I felt the same, the thought of it freaked me out so much I just did it so I wouldn’t have to think about whether or not it was a good idea.

He’s a delight and I love him so much, a handful and cheeky but I’m glad we did.

I must have been lucky, mine were good sleepers!
Tho bad sleep came in menopause far worse than kids.
I actually enjoyed the newborn stage too

I'm so terrified of a 2nd baby that I think we might just decide not to do it! Much easier

Yep i am pregnant with my second and I keep thinking what have I done!!! I really don't get on well with the newborn stage it is so intense. But it only lasts a short time and it'll be worth it in the end.

We’re currently trying for number 2 and I’m terrified for the opposite reason. Our first has been perfect and easy and what if the next is difficult and ruins our chilled family?

Was terrified the same (there’s two years between mine). Youngest just about to turn one, it was okay, it was different. The things you’re anxious about might not even be the same. But totally normal to feel apprehensive!

@User7312019

We’re currently trying for number 2 and I’m terrified for the opposite reason. Our first has been perfect and easy and what if the next is difficult and ruins our chilled family?

I think it's scary either way - I hated the newborn phase but find DS, now 2.5, to be mainly a delight now. So when we have lovely, easy days with him or he sleeps in and I wake up feeling all refreshed I think 'argh, why are we ruining this?!', when he's a whingy nightmare or wakes me up repeatedly in the night claiming to need non-existent wees I think 'oh my god, why did I want two of these?!'

I think it's hard at the moment because I still don't really believe that it's possible that I'll love the new baby as much as I love DS - I know logically I will, that love isn't finite, but I don't think I'll believe it's possible until I feel it

Yeah I dont want to do it again. So I might not. I dont think I need another baby and DD gets all my attention

@User7312019 Same! I had a horrible pregnancy, but had a really easy ELCA and DS is the sweetest, easiest toddler - hits all his milestones, good eater, good sleeper, doesn't scream or cry or fuss that much.

What if I had another and they're a monster who screams all the time and won't sleep? The thought is terrifying, so I'm thinking of stopping at one rather than pushing my luck.

My second DC is ten weeks old and an absolute delight, if it helps. 100 times easier than my first, who was an awful sleeper. Obviously there are no guarantees but it's fairly common for the second to be easier than the first.

I'm due number 2 in the spring. Number 1 won't be 2 yet. Sometimes I'm excited. Sometimes I'm terrified. Though I know the new born bit is short lived.