To have a friend over.

[Isitbedtimeyet4]

I’ve just been diagnosed with postnatal depression, I’m struggling a lot.

I’ve got three children under 2.5 years and all I am doing is crying, husband is at work and I’m in a support bubble with my parents but they’re both busy.

A friend has offered to come round and help but I know it’s against the rules (tier 2 area). I just really want to say yes, I really need the support.

AIBU in saying yes or should I just stick to the rules and wait until my husband finishes this evening.

I wouldn't normally encourage people to break the rules but I really do think in your case it's essential.

Get in touch with Home-start in your local area, they provide practical help and support to parents in similar circumstances.

www.home-start.org.uk/

Thank you @Chailatte20 Unfortunately home start don’t cover my area, the closest area they cover is 45 minutes away and when I looked into it they don’t extend this far.

I’ve had the health visitor over and she’s trying to help as much as possible but all the support groups have been stopped due to COVID and there’s no word yet on when they’ll restart.

I’ve honestly never felt this alone in my life.

Yes get her around if she’s happy.

Sorry you feel so bad.

I don't like people breaking the rules and using 'stress' and 'MH' as an excuse (when really they're just going through the normal ups and downs of life) but in this case I think you should get her round. Open a window, wear masks and get some support.

Caring for someone vulnerable is allowed under the rules.

So is forming a support bubble if you have a child under 1.

Sounds like you come under both these anyway? So you're not breaking any rules anyway.

You have 3 under 3; if you were my friend & struggling like that I'd be there in a flash! Lockdown or not. Sometimes we have to do what is right & best for us. A shoulder to cry on & someone to make you a cup of tea & hold your hand is sometimes all it takes to make it (albeit temporarily) better. I'm sorry you're suffering & glad that you're getting some support from your HV.

how old is the youngest? if they were under 1 you can make her a support bubble

You're vulnerable. Do it. Get them around. You can both wear masks to help you feel better about it.

Extremely difficult situation.
I say this as someone who asked for help from the health visitor and received help from a family support worker 2/3 days per week when I had two under 2's and DP was working long hours.
In Covid times, however, and knowing my partner was going to be home this evening then I think I'd stick it out.
The thought of putting us and friend at extra risk would in all honesty cause me anxiety and make things worse for me.
We are all different though and nobody could blame you for having your friend help out.

If you have a under 1 which I'm assuming you do, it's permitted

See if your friend can come for a walk with you and the kids?

If not, keep a window open.

It's not breaking the rules is it? Anyway if it were, there comes a point where rules come second.

In that situation, yes, I would.

@ShatnersWig

You're vulnerable. Do it. Get them around. You can both wear masks to help you feel better about it.

This.

Just try and wear masks and keep windows open a bit.

Yes do it. I hope you’re friend is there

You'll feel a lot worse if your friend gives you covid. Are you sure they haven't been exposed?

You don't need our permission! Hope you feel better after a chat with your friend.

Hope you’re ok. I would defo help a friend in your situation.

Definitely. I had pnd during the first lockdown and I was so lucky my DH was furloughed. I’m not sure how I’d have coped otherwise.

Absolutely do it. A thousand times!x

Op I had 3 under under 2.5 too. It can be very hard at times and I am grateful it wasn't during a pandemic. Look after yourself, whatever that means for you. It gets easier. My youngest is 2.5 now and its easier all the time

I agree you can under the support bubble rules but it sounds like you’ve already bubbled with your parents. Can your DH take some time off or you be a bit firmer with your parents about your need for support? If they’re still busy I’d reconsider who you are in a bubble with.