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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Always in the wrong

3 replies

HappyChildminder · 21/12/2020 20:35

I’m a childminder I start work mostly at 8am but can start at 7am and finish at 6pm. I have suffered with depression, sleep apnea for over a year and yes I’ll admit I have let things slide well more than slide not doing laundry, home chores, my health and self care, I just physically and mentally give up. I feel lazy and feel like I make excuses upon excuses.

Because I’m at home working I Apperently can get housework done I’ve told him repeatedly I can’t do that as I’m working I need to interact play with kids and do observations etc. He just don’t seem to understand this. After school walk I just need to crash and sleep I walk over 5 miles that a day.
I just got moaned at by him as I didn’t take the Christmas cards to the neighbours today.
I do all the chores around the house and the bins. Yes he works hard he owns a business but I feel like I don’t get any thanks and when I stand up for myself he makes me feel bad saying that he can’t bring anything up without me moaning at him but I always get

“Why didn’t you do this” “you can tidy the table in the week” “why is the kitchen a tip, I’m always tiding up after those children”

I have our two kids to look after also and I get them bathed, dressed and ready for bed when he lays on our bed reading his phone! I then have to moan and order him to get up for him to say goodnight to them. I’m tired doing this every day!!!!

I just want him to understand that this is not helping my loathing for myself. I have talked to him before but it’s like he don’t understand, I’ve asked for help with the laundry for example 1 day I got. Then I get remarks “can’t see why you can’t do this”

OP posts:
Pipandmum · 21/12/2020 20:39

Sounds like a very one sided relationship to me. You work full time. Tell him you split the chores from now on or he can do his own stuff.

LouiseTrees · 21/12/2020 20:39

Don’t say you are playing with the children, tell him the warts and all x ran towards the toilet, y tried to write on the walls. Make it clear to him why you don’t leave children unattended

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 21/12/2020 21:25

He doesn't deserve you OP. You can't do it all it is too much. He should appreciate you and do his fair share.

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