Last December (a year ago today in fact) my Dad died. There was a bit of a back log because of the time etc so his funeral wasn't until late January. My Mom (his wife but long time separated) lives in a care home because of mental health issues. My Dad had had nothing to do with her for the last 2 years of his life because he couldn't cope and was seriously ill. He came to live with me 250miles away. When he died I had power of attorney and was his nominated next of kin. I organised and paid for the funeral but kept my Mom as involved as I could manage, she was very difficult at times but had always been that way. It's hard to explain what she's like but she has behaved appallingly over the years towards my Dad, sometimes it just can't be excused by her mental health problems, an example is throwing his heart medication down the loo. He deserved a life away from all of that. Anyway, he was cremated in Jan 2019 and I said we'd bury the ashes in his family plot at Easter. It's a good 3hrs drive and what with kids and work we would need time off. But as everyone is aware COVID happened. So my Dad is still sat on a shelf, I have tried to organise the interment a few time but the restrictions have made it difficult. Also a close family member who wants to attend had a heart attack! I speak to my Mom once a week to see how she's doing etc and the staff to see exactly how she is. The manager seems to think that because the ashes haven't been buried my Mom can't move on. I understand this but I can't help it. The manager then hinted that she was going to help my Mom arrange for the ashes to be buried. I was gobsmacked. How dare they get involved. I explained the obvious travel restrictions but was told funerals etc can go ahead. I didn't get upset with the manager but made excuses to get off the phone. I was so thrown. I immediately called the funeral directors who assured me that nobody other than me can touch the ashes. I know they can't be put in the family grave without permission from another relative who owns the plot. But I was so worried my Mom could just take the ashes.
AIBU to say no to burying the ashes during COVID? I want to be there and it's not safe to do so.