To think we have to cancel?

[TheUndoingProject]

My boyfriend and I have booked to go away over New Year. We are both living with our parents temporarily, so are not part of the same household or extended household. Neither of our families are seeing other households over Christmas.

The trip was planned to be as Covid safe as possible (cottage in the middle of nowhere, just the two of us etc) but in light of the new restrictions I think we should obviously cancel. It would involve reasonably significant travel for both of us (by train for me, car for him).

My boyfriend thinks the risk is very low and will be annoyed if I want to cancel, but I just think it’s the right thing to do. My father is terminally ill and he thought of giving him covid haunts me. I’m desperate to see my boyfriend but I just don’t want to risk it.

AIBU to think we need to cancel?

I think if your dad wasn't ill I might have said risk it, but otherwise it doesn't seem worth the risk. Would you boyfriend and ideally his family be willing to isolate for 10 days beforehand? I know this has been so tough for couples not living together. Could you see each other as a Xmas day bubble instead?

The more of us that can abide by the rules the better, the risk from any one interaction is low or everyone but multiply it by 66million of us and if we all did as we please the cases will keep on rising.

Your NY trip is allowed if you are in Tier 1 area, it is not allowed if you are in any other area as there should be no mixing of households.

As PP says if you are in tier 1 it's fine but otherwise not.

Ignoring the legalities and using some common sense I personally think the stakes are too high here and you should cancel.

On one hand you have your very vulnerable father and a worst case scenario which is horrific. On the other you have a pissed off boyfriend who will hopefully get over it, but if not you can consider it a good warning and get rid of him for being a selfish arsehole.

Would you boyfriend and ideally his family be willing to isolate for 10 days beforehand?

But OP would be travelling by train. She could pick up the virus on the journey there or back (or pass it on to someone, if she happened to be one of the large proportion of people who have it asymptomatically and don't know it).

Of course you need to cancel

I'm surprised that the venue you're travelling to hasn't already cancelled yet.

Given your personal circumstances, I would cancel.

I think my family are very low risk. We all work from home and because of my father’s health are very very careful. My boyfriend’s family are less so - although he works from home, his sister is a student who returned home recently and his parents are both in health care (which does mean they get twice weekly covid tests).

There is no question that is against the rules, which makes me very uncomfortable. I could possibly avoid taking public transport, although that would present other difficulties.

I think the covid risk is as low as we can make it in the circumstances but obviously isn’t nil. I cancelled seeing my boyfriend earlier in Dec because I thought the risk was too high and he took it really badly. I worry that our relationship wouldn’t survive not seeing each other until my father is vaccinated. Like so many other people I’m so down about it all.