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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old doubting Father Christmas already.

36 replies

Rudolph98 · 21/12/2020 16:01

Hi all, I have two dc. A 9 year old that still believes and has asked questions but not doubted it. Probably be the last year for him.

Also Dd who was 5 in the summer and keeps saying she knows the mum and dads wrap them all. Not sure what gave her this idea. Maybe from school or something!

I keep trying to convince her that Father Christmas is real. In this house he brings a stocking and one gift so most of it is from us anyway.

Sounds silly but I just feel she’s too young to lose the magic yet.

I can only assume a child at school has said it. I’m always really careful, hiding presents, using separate gift wrap etc!!

Feeling sad 😞

OP posts:
FuzzyPuffling · 21/12/2020 16:04

She's a child with great critical thinking skills. She'll go far!
Christmas does not need Santa Claus to be magic. It really doesn't.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/12/2020 16:04

You really need to allow your child to believe what they want to. My son never believed in Santa. My daughter stopped by 5. No matter what you say or do, she will believe what she will. Christmas will still be lovely.

Original poster
Rudolph98 · 21/12/2020 16:08

Thank you! Totally. I just don’t know what’s normal when I have a 9 year old that still believes!

OP posts:
nosswith · 21/12/2020 16:22

All I would say is that make sure the 5 year old does not tell the 9 year old, assuming the 9 year old is not faking belief thinking no more presents from 'Father Christmas' any more if they let on.

AppleKatie · 21/12/2020 16:25

Just tell your kids to believe what they like, but you believe in Father Christmas because he brings presents and everyone likes presents.

Add optional wink.

Then go and have a glass of wine and a mince pie and give it no more thought!

Christobel51 · 21/12/2020 16:33

I totally understand wanting to keep the magic alive....
I have suspicious 8 & 9 years olds, plus a nearly 6 year old who has asked questions....
I would try and make sure Father Christmas brings some stuff that Mummy and Daddy would never give them & disapprove of such as slime, glittery bath bombs, waaay too much chocolate, kinetic sand etc!
And I always say...
Well, Mummy and Daddy would never bring you so many presents would we? ...
Well, I certainly don't have time to do all that wrapping.....
Well, slime is so yucky and awful and makes a mess......etc etc in answer to any direct questions.
And then largely just change the subject and distract!
Good luck. Smile

MasterBeth · 21/12/2020 16:34

I knew from about and my kids worked it out at about the same time. It’s fine. I still loved Christmas, still wrote letters to Santa, still loved getting presents.

Never got the Mumsnet with “keeping the magic” until they’re about 14...

MasterBeth · 21/12/2020 16:34

Mumsnet obsession...

MasterBeth · 21/12/2020 16:35

Knew from about 5. (Haven’t even been drinking, honest.)

vanitythynameisnotwoman · 21/12/2020 16:37

My DD was just 5 when she worked it out - at a Toy Service at church, "why do we need to buy toys for children that don't have any if Father Christmas is real?"Xmas Hmm
I think some children want to believe and sone want reality and that's ok, all part of individual personalities.

VinylDetective · 21/12/2020 16:37

I’d be astonished if a nine year old still believes, he’s probably going along with it for his sister. Mine lost all faith very shortly after starting school.

Bunnybigears · 21/12/2020 16:38

My DS told me aged 4 or 5 that Santa, Easter bunny and the tooth fairy were all made up. We didn't try persuade him otherwise, once the gigs up its up we just explained how he was now in the special club with the grown ups who have to keep the magic going for the little kids.

DolphinsAndNemesis · 21/12/2020 16:38

It sounds as though she's ready to give up her belief in Santa. She may well have reached this conclusion on her own, without any input from children at school. In any case, I would respect her doubts and not try to convince her otherwise.

EmmanuelleMakro · 21/12/2020 16:41

My younger DC never even made a pretence of believing and elder DC just did do to humour us. We all went along with just for the craic, but could never understand the parents obsessed with the kids believing. We still had fun and still put out the carrots!

CMOTDibbler · 21/12/2020 16:45

From the time he could talk, my ds never believed in FC, really didn't want anything to do with the whole thing and questioned unrelentlessly (this is very much part of his personality - question everything and don't stop no matter what).
He still did, and does, have a lovely time at christmas

Treacletreacle · 21/12/2020 16:46

I think if you have a logical thinking child they work it out quicker. For instance my son never believed in the tooth fairy. He asked me why would a fairy want kids old teeth. But we still made a joke out of it as he said wanted some cash 😂

SirSamuelVimes · 21/12/2020 16:52

Ah I feel your pain op. I have a six year old and I'm pretty sure this will be the last year for us. She told me a few weeks ago that she doesn't think the tooth fairy is real - she hasn't even lost a tooth yet (none are even wobbling) so she / I will probably completely miss out on that.

I do think that some of the magic of childhood is believing in the impossible - the giddiness of feeling like there has been real life magic in your own home, in your own bedroom, because Father Christmas has been in the night! I will be very sad to see it go. But there's not much you can do about it! Unfortunate side effect of relentlessly logical children.

SirSamuelVimes · 21/12/2020 16:53

@Treacletreacle

I think if you have a logical thinking child they work it out quicker. For instance my son never believed in the tooth fairy. He asked me why would a fairy want kids old teeth. But we still made a joke out of it as he said wanted some cash 😂
treacle if he's old enough, give him Terry Pratchett's Hogfather to read. Deals with the question of 'what do they do with the teeth?' !
JillofTrades · 21/12/2020 16:57

my ds is 4.5yo and has asked me why does Santa look different everywhere if he is the same person. I was not going to make him believe in something which I personally feel silly as well. Be honest if he asks.

FitterHappierMoreProductive · 21/12/2020 16:59

My six year old isn’t at all persuaded. She hasn’t come out and said it, but she’s pointedly told me all the other things that aren’t real “fairies, unicorns, toothy fairy, Easter bunny, elf on the shelf”. She’s a bit baffled actually I think, that we keep all saying something is real that she knows can’t be. Don’t be worried about what’s normal, all kids are different. If she has stopped believing it’s just who she is!

Peace43 · 21/12/2020 16:59

Mine was about 5 when she said she knew Santa was just mum doing it. We asked her to keep it secret for the cousins. She plays along every year and loves things like elf on the shelf and stockings. We see Santa and she asks for things just like other kids. However when I say “oh bum, I forgot to move the elf” she enjoys being in on the joke. I regularly have to say “Santa doesn’t DO PlayStations!” And she realises I mean no. She’s never let on to her cousins. She’ll be 10 in January and it didn’t spoil anything for her.

RelightMyPfizer · 21/12/2020 17:01

The year 1 was 5 I sat up all night waiting

I finally went out to look and found my mum sitting on the avocado loo with my present sack.

Rather than denying she said dont tell your brother!

jessstan1 · 21/12/2020 17:01

If your child is already aware there is no such person as Santa Claus, for goodness sake it would be very wrong to try and influence them otherwise! What would be the point? He doesn't exist, full stop. You can teach her about traditions and myths, and St Nicholas, Christmas will be just as good.

Whoisgoingdownthechimney · 21/12/2020 17:03

My son was a similar age when he worked it out. He's always been a thinker and asking loads of questions but the cutest thing was when he said to me 'So all those presents from Father Christmas were really from you? Thanks mum' and gave me a massive hug. I was happy with that and secretly chuffed he was able to work it out for himself, I never felt entirely comfortable about the pretending anyway.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/12/2020 17:05

I can remember working it out for myself when I was 6. I pretended to believe for a while after that though.