Aibu to think he's using covid as an excuse

[Mooncake86]

I am divorced and have 2 dc from said marriage. I am forever trying to arrange time with ex to see kids. I am flexible with it and understanding. We live 45 mins apart, for the 2nd time he has been given the chance to have kids Christmas day overnight into boxing day. I told him months ago. He's messaged today saying he can't take them, last time he did this he told me xmas eve. He forever uses covid as an excuse not to see them yet manages to go to the gym numerous days a week. I feel like I'm being horrible but I am exhausted with the effort of it all. He won't agree to set visitation randomly goes 2 or 3 weeks with not so much as a text. I just want to do right by my kids so they have a good relationship with him but it feels like he just can't be arsed but won't say so. He came to see them Sunday at 2pm and was away before 5pm
Spent most of that time on his phone ignoring our dd. Sorry for the long post I am at my wits end and don't want to post on fb or anything .

I think you're right to do that.

Kids aren't daft they suss people out in their own time. My dd certainly has her dads number!

Oddly I'm currently dealing with them being in the process of "reconnecting" which is difficult, it's complicated but my main fear is ex letting dd down spectacularly once again (the impetus came from her motivated by a bad relationship break up). She isn't placing her dad on a pedestal or anything but I think she is hoping for more than he's likely to give. As she's an adult it's not really my place to intervene all I can do is support her.

You have a more worrying situation than I do.

I wish you and your family luck and peace in dealing with all this.

As a sort of aside I also know quite a few people raised by loving step fathers and they are lovely well adjusted people,

Love is often more important than blood.

Have a lovely Christmas

@Graphista thank you,
Hopefully things will go well for your dd but I'm sure either way she will manage with your support.
Yeah that is very true, my dd sometimes calls my partner daddy(name) and he is wonderful with them both so I am very lucky. We will have a great Xmas day just the 4 of us.
Hope you and dd have a wonderful Christmas too

Either go to court or let him get on with ignoring his kids. I’m sure they realise how shit he is, even if they don’t quite admit or understand it. Make a note of every time you’ve facilitated contact.

I think you just need to stop chasing him.

It’s very sad for them but he’s a bad father and it might be easier for them to accept that if they see him rarely. Great they have a good step Dad.

As a PP said, stop taking responsibility for organising his visits.

Either he’ll have an amazing turnaround (not likely) or contact will tickle away.